Pranked!
by SMARTCUTEFUNNYXD
Summary: Chloe gets Derek with a prank, and what happens when the rest of the gang gets in on the pranking? What ensues is something no one expected: a prank war! Slightly crack-ficcy, a little OOC, completely awesome! T for language! Chlerek. REVIEW! Edits to all chapters coming soon!
1. He Is So Going to Hate Me!

**Hey people! Just another quick little one-shot, this time written with the lovely characters of the Darkest Powers trilogy. Hope you enjoy it! Remember, I own nothing! Kelley owns all!**

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I was sitting on the bed in the motel room, reading a copy of _Entertainment Weekly_. I had snagged it a week or so ago when I accompanied Mr. Bae to the store for some food. It was just before noon.

The latest motel we were staying in wasn't exactly high quality, unless you count cockroaches in the bathroom as a favorable amenity. I tossed the magazine down, with even its contents unable to retract the boredom that was filling my mind.

"Ugh!" I moaned as I buried my head in the rather musty pillows.

"What's your issue?" Derek asked, walking in to the room from the attached kitchenette, a plastic sleeve of crackers in his hands.

"Share," I demanded, and he obliged, handing over a couple. I munched one before sharing my problem with him.

"I'm so freaking bored! Since I haven't called my dad yet, I can't go anywhere! And Simon and Tori just went out 'grocery shopping', when in reality I just know they went somewhere fun, like bowling or something." I knew I was exaggerating, but I couldn't help it- I was really bored.

"Can you honestly imagine Tori bowling?" Derek asked me quietly, and I had to bark a laugh at that one.

"Oh, in those ugly shoes and using those nasty, used bowling balls!" I snickered before looking up at Derek

"So what have you been doing to stave off boredom?" I asked him, leaning back in to my pillows.

"Oh, nothing," he said, his innocent tone catching my attention.

"Define 'nothing'," I told him, narrowing my eyes.

"Well, okay. So you know how, after a while, my dad told me that I'd be able to control when I Changed?" I nodded, ready to hear whatever it was he was working on if it involved this.

"So, earlier today, I went out to try out Changing by myself," he said. I cocked an eyebrow, questioning him even attempting Changing without me. He shook his head in response.

"I was almost positive it wasn't going to work," he said.

"So? What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I was right. Nothing happened. But I did feel something, almost like if I pushed just a little bit harder, tried a little more, then something might happen." I looked up, intrigued.

"And you stopped because…" I prompted him.

"Well, I really didn't want to break tradition by Changing without you," he told me, smiling slyly.

"Well then, what are we sitting around here for? Lead the way, good sir!" I nearly shouted, springing off the bed and grabbing my jacket. This was freaking interesting, and it sure beat the hell out of sitting around doing nothing. As I checked myself in the mirror on the way out, making a slight face at my ugly-as-ever black dye job (they wouldn't let me wash it out until I talked to my dad), a sudden idea for a joke sprang in to my mind. I clapped a hand over my mouth to silence the sudden onslaught of giggles as I turned it over in my mind, considering how much Derek would hate me if I did it.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked, eyeing me suspiciously as he turned the handle on the front door.

"Nothing, nothing. But can we, uh, stop at the corner store or something on our way out? I, uh, need some, uh, _products_ rather urgently," I lied quickly, grabbing at the slight chance since we were going out. I was going to pull my little joke, whether he made it easy for me or not. I mean, who could pass up a chance like this? Thankfully, he was going to make it easy. He just got this weird look on his face and immediately agreed, though I could see that he wondered why I didn't just tell the others to get me some.

"And have your _dad_ get them for me? Uh, thanks, but no." He got a look on his face like he was about to argue my walking blatantly in to a store, but I held up a hand to shush him.

"No problem. Check this out." I snatched my pair of sunglasses from the bathroom counter, put them on, and then went over to the closet. I had gotten some hats and stuff, courtesy of Tori, a few days ago. I selected a black beanie and slipped it over my head, and turned to Derek.

"See? I'm not Chloe, I'm… uh, Gina." He snorted, and then guided me out the door. I turned back, grabbed my wallet from my bedside table, and then went back out the door. We walked over to the corner store, and I told him that he could just wait outside. He agreed, standing against the wall of the building and looking like one of those hardcore punk guys. I chuckled inwardly at my own joke and then hurried inside the store. Once there, I headed straight over to the hair products section, not wasting a second of my time. I figured I had about 5 to 7 minutes before Derek started to get antsy, including checkout time.

I browsed the shelves, looking for what I needed. I finally came upon the temporary hair dye section, grinning when I saw the wide array that seemed to be laid out just for me. I had a twenty in my pocket, and the smaller ones were about $10 apiece. I figured I could get two and make it out fine. I selected two packages of bright, bubblegum pink dye, and grinned at my own evilness. Derek was so going to hate me after this.

I walked up to the register and paid for my purchases. I wrapped the bag in close to the boxes and stuffed it in my inside jacket pocket.

Outside, I greeted Derek, who looked at me in my absence of bags.

"It's in my jacket, it can wait. We don't have to go home to drop them off, I wanna see this!" He nodded, and then started walking to the other side of the street. You know, screw crosswalks! Those things were for weenies!

Once we successfully hopped the fence separating the forest from the road, Derek led the way, having been in here already. He led me to a clearing, and then sat down in the middle of it.

"I warn you now, the process is even more tiring when I'm trying to initiate it myself, so, yeah, just be warned," he told me with a slight smile. I smiled back; this was going to work perfectly!

He stripped off his t-shirt and jeans, with me, admittedly, looking away and blushing a little. He kept his shorts on, though. Ooh, going commando afterwards, apparently. Chloe likey. Derek leaned over on all fours and closed his eyes, a look of intense concentration on his face. After five minutes, I noticed a change: he started breathing harder than what he had been, and he started sweating. I scooted a little closer, making sure he felt that I was there. For some unfathomable reason, he could only really Change when I was there. He knew that he could do it on his own, and that he was totally fine, but I guess it was just some subconscious thing, telling him to Change only when I was there.

"You good?" I asked him, carefully extending my hand and placing it on his back. To my surprise, I could actually feel the fur growing and retracting, over and over. Wow, he was actually willing himself to do this. Amazing.

He grunted a response, keeping his focus on what he was doing. I murmured encouragements softly, and rubbed his back between his shoulder blades, doing what I could to help him through the process. After quite a while, longer than what Changing was normally doing right then, he plopped down, now a wolf.

"Hey, you did it!" I told him quietly, and Derek chuffed and flicked his tail. I took that to mean, _yeah, what did you expect?_

"Well, pardon me for doubting you for a little while there!" I laughed, and got a face full of tail in response.

"Watch where you swing that thing!" I exclaimed, and he snorted. Then, I heard him give sigh, and I rubbed his side.

"You can rest now, if you want," I told him, and he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't worry, I got it. I'll wake you if anything happens, if you don't wake up first," I reassured him, and he gave an awkward nod. A moment later, I heard the deeper breathing that told me he was asleep. Time to put my prank in to action!

I carefully removed the bag from my jacket, being sure not to crumple the plastic and make a huge noise. I took out the boxes and opened the first one up. I read the instructions, and then took out the packet and little brush thing. I looked at his coat, and then rubbed my chin, thinking.

If his fur retracted in to him, then would the dye show up on his body? I didn't think so, because though skin wounds and such showed, I think the fur was, like, not actually on his human body. I would know, _wink wink_. But I was pretty sure the stuff on his head was similar, if not the same stuff, to what was normally on it. I was just going to go with that theory, and if it didn't work, fine, because he'd still have to go around in wolf form with pink racing stripes on his sides. If they didn't show in his hair, then phooey.

I set to work, putting the chemical in his fur and letting it sit for a little while, as it said. When it came time to rinse it out, I figured it was time Derek woke up. I put away the evidence of my work, and hid it in my jacket again. I nudged him lightly, taking care not to touch the dye.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You've had enough time lights out. Wake up!" I told him, and he opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. He yawned hugely (who knew a wolf could do that?) and then got to his feet. I prayed that he wouldn't smell the dye, and by some miracle, he didn't. thank the heavens!

"Hey, you wanna go check out this awesome, like, lake thing over here?" I asked him, pointing in the direction. I had snooped around a little when he was out, and found the water source to rinse it out in. It was a lake, albeit a small one, but it'd do the trick.

He started heading that way, in response to my question. I followed him, and when we got there, the sun was directly overhead. I shrugged out of my jacket almost immediately, and set my hat down with it. I had taken off my sunglasses once we got in to the forest.

"See? Isn't it amazing?" I asked him, pointing. The lake actually was really pretty, spanning the length of the clearing and sparkling in the sunlight.

"Why don't you go test the water, it looks plenty warm," I told him. I could tell that he was starting to get a bit suspicious, but he did so anyways. I heard his content growl once he stepped in. He ducked under the water, holding his breath for a moment before coming back up. He shook out his fur like a wet dog. Perfect, I thought as I noticed the color starting to appear. He apparently didn't notice the slight pink tinge left behind him as he continued tramping on towards the center.

Once it got too deep, he started to go a bit more cautiously, trying to swim. I had never actually seen a wolf swim, hell I'd never seen a normal wolf outside the zoo, so I watched interestedly. He was doing a kind of demented doggy paddle, but after a while he got the hang of it so he started looking better.

"Is it warm?" I called, and heard his affirmative growl as his reply. I shucked my shoes and waded in too, since I was wearing shorts. I splashed him, trying to help the process of the dye rinsing out. He spun and snorted out through his nose, and then made his attempt at splashing me. He kind of ducked his head in to the water and splashed it towards me, but it was pretty weak. I laughed at him.

"Sorry, but you kind of need hands and arms to do this," I told him, splashing him again. He gave me a look as if to say, _you ain't seen nothing yet_.

I must admit, after a few failed first tries, and even more suckish attempts, Derek had the idea of wolf splashing down. It was actually more of a half belly flop, with him raising the front part of his body and bringing it down hard, but it was plenty effective. And the last of the dye was out!

I started heading back to the shore, and he followed me. On dry land, he shook out his coat. I combed through it with my fingers, unable to stop smirking as I took in the hugely contrasting streaks all down his body. He gave me another look, asking me why I was smiling again, and I pointed him to the edge of the water.

"Why don't you take a look yourself?" I asked him, unable to contain my laughter now. He did, and took in the reflection. I must say, the first look I detected on his face was "whoa that color looks good against my coat". The second, more appropriate look was "ohmigod what have I been rolling in!" The third was "Chloe did this I just know it and now she will pay". Quite an interesting array, don't you agree?

He turned slowly, letting me see the anger in his eyes, mixed in with amusement.

"Oh my, someone has acquired a hair do, quite sexy!" I said, literally rolling on the floor, clutching my sides. He growled loudly, and then pounced on me. He chewed me out with grunts, snarls, and snaps, but I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through.

"Oh, hold on just a second! Simon'll want to see this!" Quick as a flash, I had my phone in my hand and was snapping picture after picture of his new look, before he leapt again and knocked me over.

"Oh jeez, that's one for the yearbook!" I yelled, still laughing. Derek sat back, snorted, and then trotted briskly back to the other clearing. I gathered up my stuff and walked back too. When I came back, he was already beginning his Change back.

When he was done, he gave me such a look that I instinctively cowered in fear.

"Please don't eat me!" I cried, smirking. He sighed loudly.

"You do realize this calls for vengeance, right?" he asked me, a dangerous look coming in to his eyes.

"Oh crap," I said in response, my eyes going wide. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

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**Eh? Eh? Joo like? Well, even if you don't, I INSIST you review, lovely little dumpling :) Thanks for reading!**

**PS want a follow-up chapter? Wanna see Chloe get a taste of her own medicine? Then review!**


	2. Juvenile but Simplistic

**Hey people! So yeah, 2****nd**** chapter. See you at the bottom!**

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Chloe POV

I stepped back instinctively, hunching forward a little, attempting to shield myself even a little from the dark, towering figure across the clearing.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but really, I'm not," I told Derek, smirking slightly. He growled.

"You think putting these, _pink_ stripes on to me is funny?" he snapped at me, and I just couldn't resist taunting him a little more.

"Actually, yes! Oh, by the way, I found out how your fur relates to your hair," I told him.

"What? Alright, I have to hear _this_ one. Go ahead, surprise me," he muttered.

"Well, it seems to me that it goes like this: you know how you're completely black as a wolf, and how your hair is black? Well, whatever happens to your fur, kind of finds its equivalent on your hair. So now, you kind of have pink streaks in your hair. You're welcome!" I laughed, and he shook his head slowly.

"Sometimes, Chloe. Sometimes…" He grabbed my elbow and began steering me towards the chain link fence again.

"So you're going to get me back for this, huh?" I asked him cheerfully. He just gave me a look before rolling his eyes.

"Yes. And it's going to be a lot better than just dye." I stopped at the fence, put my hands on my hips and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh really? You think you're going to do a better prank on me?" I asked. He was suddenly standing right above me, hands around my waist, head on top of mine.

"Mmm," he inhaled, holding me tighter. I leaned in to his touch.

"You're cute when you're trying to take me on," he murmured. A reply died before leaving my mouth, something along the lines of "what do you mean, trying?" when he brought his lips to mine. I kissed him back gently, then backed away.

"Aw no. You don't get any lovin' when we're in the middle of a prank war here!" I said, starting to scale the fence. He dragged me back down and pecked me, hard, on the lips once.

"All's fair in love and war, baby," he said, before boosting me up on the fence.

When we finally arrived back at the motel, the others had come back from shopping and were gathered in the female room. We got a lot of "where have you been!" and "it's dangerous for Chloe to be out in broad daylight!", but Derek stopped them.

"We went out because I wanted to show Chloe something," he said.

"Show her what?" Kit asked. Derek smiled slyly.

"Someone just might be able to Change at will now," he said loftily, before getting a huge grin and a back pound from Simon. Why do guys do that? Some sort of display of strength?

"Nice!" he said, his smile about to split his face. "So what does this mean?" he asked.

"I think that now that he can Change at will, he won't Change spontaneously as often, though it'll probably still go on for a while. This is great news, Derek!" Kit smiled widely at his other son, before the grin evaporated as he finally noticed my handiwork. Simon's face also went in to a horrified mask before cracking. He busted up, holding his sides and shaking violently with peals of laughter.

"Dude! Wha- what happened to your h- h- hair?" he choked out, receiving a stink eye glare from Derek. Even Mr. Bae had a hard time keeping a straight face. Tori chose that moment to walk in from the bedroom part, and she gasped. Then she grinned. Then she shrieked with laughter. I could visibly see Derek gritting his teeth, and I smiled.

"I had an idea to prank Derek by putting in some streaks on his fur, so that's what I did when he Changed. Kind of interesting to see how it appeared on his human form," I said, still snickering. Kit shook his head.

"Well, I guess you got him good then." Tori looked at me, suddenly fearful.

"You do realize he's not letting this go without revenge, right?" she told me. I grimaced.

"I'm only too aware of that. I'm actually kind of scared for my life right now." Tori gave me a sympathetic glance.

"You chose your own fate," Derek said with an evil grin. I quailed, and then decided to bail.

"Hey, who want's lunch?" I called, putting a falsely cheerful note in my voice, trying not to show any sign of weakness.

**(time passes)**

Derek POV

I was sitting on my bed, trying to put the finishing mental touches on the prank I was going to pull on Chloe. I was seriously pissed at my newly pink-streaked hair, and she was going to pay for that.

I was going to go for something deceptively simple though, a lot different from what she might normally expect from me. I figured I would set it up at night, when she was sleeping, so the surprise would be right there waiting for her as she awoke. I had everything I needed: a bucket full of water, a bag of flour from the grocery store, a full bottle of honey, and a length of string, most of which I got earlier when I slunk out once everyone was distracted.

At around midnight, I snuck over to the girls' room, being careful not to wake anyone. I went over to her bathroom, filled up the bucket with water, and balanced on the top of the doorframe. Juvenile and simplistic, I know, but it'd do the trick. I edged past the slightly open door and walked deeper in to the bathroom, to where the second door separated the shower and toilet. I took the towel hanging off the doorknob and buried the bag of flour inside its folds. I fixed it so when she pulled it down to dry her face, the string would zip open the bag and coat her in flour. To complete the trick, I filled her soap bottle with the honey, so when she went to rinse off the congealing flour with soap, she'd end up with hands, and possibly a face, full of honey. I grinned as I set it up- it was the perfect payback.

The next morning, I woke up first, as usual. I knew that Chloe would wake up before Tori, so she'd get the effects of the prank. I snuck back in to her room when it was still early, camera in my hands. I wanted full footage of this! I waited, past 6, 7, and then 8 o' clock before I finally heard her stirring. I smiled and sank deeper in to the hollow that most people would prop their suitcase up in. I prepped the camera and waited for her to make her morning bathroom run.

Finally, _finally_ she came over to the bathroom. I braced myself for the earsplitting resounding _crash_ of the metal bucket hitting the tiled floor and drenching Chloe in water. I snapped photo after photo as the sound covered any sound the shutter opening and closing might make. I heard her mumble and curse and then walk in to the bathroom, probably to dry herself off before going to chew me out for such a lame prank. I watched her walk up to the door and reach up to yank the towel down. I started taking more photos, as she was beyond noticing me once her face and upper body were covered in flour. I had to bite my tongue to hold in the laughter as I watched her turn slowly to the sink to rinse the stuff off.

I heard footsteps behind me, and figured the huge crash had woken Tori up and she was coming to investigate. I motioned for her to be quiet behind me as I paused in the photo taking. I watched Chloe ponder how best to get the mixture off, and as I knew she would, she settled on the soap. I resumed snapping photos as she squirted the stuff in to her hands, apparently noticed nothing, and proceeded to smear honey all over her face before realizing what happened.

"Oh, you just got pwned!" I shouted, jumping up and taking picture after picture of her in all her honeyed, floury, and dripping glory.

"I swear, Derek Souza, you will DIE for this!" she screeched at me, and I just taunted her, grinning and teasing her. Behind me, I heard Tori cracking up. To my right, the door opened and I saw Simon and my dad walk in to the room. They both took one look at her, and Simon started laughing too, though Dad was too kind to do that. But I could tell it amused him as much as my new hairstyle had.

In a minute, Chloe had succeeded in removing most of the strange concoction off her face, and was now glaring at me as best she could. She looked up in to the mirror and saw the state her hair was in, with flour and water thickening quickly in it. She huffed out a sigh, and then pitched her hairbrush at me. Actually, it was a good shot, but I caught it before it hit me.

"Damn you and your reflexes," I heard her mutter, and I smiled wider.

"Out! I have to shower to get this crap out!" She shooed her hands at us and closed the door behind her.

"See what you've done now? Now you'll get a woman's vengeance, and chicks fight dirty," Simon teased me, punching my arm.

"Hell yeah, we do!" Tori exclaimed, a sympathetic look on her face for her friend. "You kind of have it coming to you now," she said.

"Yeah, well, it was worth it. And I got a ton of pictures! Awesome revenge op, all in all," I said, hi-fiving Simon. Next to us, my dad laughed.

"Well, I really can do nothing about the 'prank war' that seems to be starting here, so I think it's safer for me to just watch from the sidelines as you two duke it out. Nothing permanently damaging though, please?" he begged, and I chuckled.

"Sure thing, Dad. But I'm not sure whether I'm going to walk away from this the same person…" Tori snickered and shook her head at me.

"You have no idea."

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**Wow guys, thanks for the awesome response this story got. Over 20 freaking reviews on the first 24 hours! You guys are the best! Thanks to all those who reviewed, and thanks to those who are about to hit the button right now! **hint hint** Love you all, my tasty little lemon drops! (Gradual Report FTW) Oh and sorry it's shorter... kind of ran out of ideas... was going to make it longer but decided to save it for the next chapter... can we make 40 reviews for this one? Please? :) Kay I'm going to stop jabbering now and leave you to it! REVIEW/ALERT/FAVORITE!**


	3. Bra and Pocket Make Broket!

**Alright! So this chapter is up really late today, weird. Yup, R&R please!**

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Chloe POV

I stepped out of the bathroom once I was done with my shower and dressed. Derek was still standing there, a weird look on his face. I jumped in front of him, hands raised in a weak attempt of trying to scare him.

"Roar!" I yelled, and he just rolled his eyes. I straightened up.

"Fine," I muttered. I sauntered past him, moving to stand next to Tori.

"Be prepared, wolf boy, because revenge is coming," I told him, smiling evilly. To my credit, he actually quaked a little. I pointed him towards the door.

"Have to plan now, time for you to get out." he ducked his head and walked out obligingly. Good boy. I turned to Tori.

"Alright, any ideas?" I asked her, and her brow creased as she thought.

"Well, he likes to eat, right?" she asked me. I nodded slowly, seeing where she was going with this.

"Yeah. So you think I should…" I let my sentence peter out as she grinned.

"Remove all food items until he either a) goes mad and tries to eat the couch, or b) he gives in to you and does you a favor or something." I smiled along with her now, both at the thought of Derek nomming on the sofa and of getting my revenge.

"Okay. So you wanna help me with this since you came up with the idea?"

"Sure! We attack tonight," she said.

That night, we all went out to eat dinner. We came across some cheap diner across the street from the motel, and Kit and Aunt Lauren agreed to take us there. I was sitting on the opposite couch of the guys, giving Derek a look. He just beamed cheekily back at me, obviously already planning his retaliation… on my retaliation… of his retaliation… on my prank… this could go on… Anyways!

The waitress led us to the table and I continued eyeing him from my seat. I picked up the menu and hid behind it then.

Underneath the table, I felt something hit my leg. I paused, and straightened. What the hell? Then it happened again, and this time I noticed the rubbery feel of it. I suddenly knew what was going on.

I yanked my phone from my purse and opened a new text screen. In case of emergency, Kit had gotten the guys cell phones, which they now carried on them like girls who had nothing better to do than annoy their friends by flooding their inboxes. Honestly! I added Derek's number to the addressee list, and then types a message.

_Why the hell are you playing footsie with me? What are you, five years old?_

I sent that and then waited for his reply. I watched him pull it out when it started vibrating. He frowned at the screen before looking up to me, shaking his head slowly.

What? But he was the only one across from me. I furrowed my eyebrow and looked on either side of him. Simon was staring off in to space, a blank look on his face. Tori was… moving slightly back and forth. I winced as another blow found its mark on my shin.

"Tori!" I said, waving my hand at her. She looked at me.

"Yeah?" I looked down pointedly.

"You're kind of…" I motioned underneath the table, and then she frowned.

"Kind of what?" She looked down, and then back at me.

"Weren't you swinging your foot?" I asked her.

"Nooo…" She looked at me strangely before slowly turning away. What… the…

I looked down, and saw nothing at all other than three sets of shoes. I glared back at Derek, then messaged him again, jumping as I got hit yet again.

_Are you sure? Because it doesn't look like anyone else is the cause here…_

Derek got the message, and then looked at me again. I looked down yet again, just to feel myself get hit again.

"Seriously! What the hell?" I asked quietly to our table. The adults got placed at a next door one, because apparently Denny's doesn't have 6-seater tables. Or maybe this one was just slummy… Well, sometimes you just gotta slum it.

Simon jerked out of his trance to look at me weirdly. Okay, I was pretty sure it wasn't him. Tori was also out. Derek… well Derek just looked confused. I ducked my head under the table… before banging my head on the table in my haste to get back up. I screeched as I came up, holding my chest where my heart was.

"Shit! What the hell, Liz?" I yelled softly, so as not to attract unnecessary attention from the wait staff and fellow customers. Derek started snickering at me, as did Simon. Tori looked… bored. Liz's smiling face came up through the table, and she was standing in the middle of it. It was actually kind of comical, seeing the drink menu sitting upright through her middle.

"Hey… I was trying to get your attention." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"And you couldn't just, oh, I dunno, say 'Hey, Chloe! It's me, Liz!'" Liz started giggling.

"My way was so much more funny! She then seemed to notice where she was standing for the first time, and stepped away from the table.

"You want something?" I asked her, still a little angry but getting over it.

"Uh… n- wait yes! I had to tell you something _iiimmmpppooorrrtttaaannnttt…_-"

"Liz I swear get on with it!" She gave me a look.

"Fine. Gosh. So I wanted to tell you that I've found Rae!" I gasped.

"Whoa! Seriously? You found Rae! Where is she?" I was now attracting the aforementioned unnecessary attention, but I didn't care. If Liz found Rae, then I could see her again, hash everything out-

"No, just kidding! Kay bye!" She disappeared, leaving me spitting foul curses in her wake.

"Chloe, if you swear like that, your lips are gonna turn black and fall off," Tori warned me. I ignored her.

"Why the hell does everyone seem to want to freaking PRANK me?" I muttered vehemently. Derek chuckled.

"It's just too easy to prank you, that's why!" I flipped him off.

"Ah, that felt good! I haven't used you in sooo long!" I crooned, stroking said finger. Derek rolled his eyes and returned to his menu.

When the plates had come and gone and the check had arrived at the other table, we all picked up our jackets and stuff and left. For some strange reason, the grown people who were currently in charge of us had missed the whole Liz debacle, apparently thinking I dropped my fork and then banged my head on the table, which might have explained the frenzied talking, probably taken for cursing. Whatevs.

As we walked back, I stood next to Derek, unable to stay away from my warm, cuddly wolf-like beau for too long. He offered his arm to me, which I took gladly.

"Mmm, you're planning something devious," he said, letting us fall back behind the group.

"Of course," I told him, smiling sneakily.

"But you know what?" he said, putting his lips down near my ear and almost making me miss what he said from the strong sensation caused by it.

"Mmph?" I managed.

"With forces as strong as us, we're better combined," he murmured, and my eyebrows lifted.

"Are you suggesting…" I started, feeling a grin come on my face.

"As long as it benefits us, and after you've had enough of torturing me, and, _ahem_," he jerked his arm away suddenly, leaving me feeling very cold and alone without it, and regretting my earlier declaration, "missing all the love that you say is unavailable in wartime, I suggest we call a truce to unite against the other four."

"Other _four_?" I asked incredulously. He nodded slowly, devilishly.

"You think I'm going to miss an opportunity to hit my dad with the force of the coming attacks?" he asked me. I smirked.

"Well, the alliance will have to wait, as I'm currently enjoying the thought of you suffering from pranks. But soon, I will give in from lack of kissing and touching, and then," I paused, applying a Russian accent, mimicking Call of Duty, "Ve shall haff our revenge, and take out all those who stand in our way." Derek beamed at me, wiping a pretend tear from his cheek. I noticed our surroundings for the first time, and saw that we were already in the lobby, and were heading towards the elevator.

"A girl after my own heart, wanting a Soviet style war against my brother and your friend." I shook my head at him then.

"Kay, so I have to go implement my prank now, so bye!" I skipped off, leaving him in the dust behind me as I opened the door to Tori's and my room. I suppose Aunt Lauren stayed in there too, but Tori and Lauren and my room just sounds off, you know?

I met up with Tori on my bed, and we discussed how we would pull this off. We decided in the end that I would be the one moving the food to a safe, undisclosed location (okay, I sweet-talked the guy who works the night shift for the front desk in to letting us use his staff fridge, so sue me!), and she would cover me by staying near the guys beds, ready to hit anyone who wakes with a binding spell.

By the time we were positive everyone was asleep, we crept over to their room.

"Damn, it smells like gym socks in here," Tori whisper-moaned to me, and I wrinkled my nose to, nodding in agreement. I made my way over to the mini-fridge as Tori went over to the bedroom part, and took in all the stuff from the grocery trip there. How the hell was I going to move it all! Before I took it out though, I remembered something: Simon had to have regular snacks and meals, what with the whole diabetes thing. So I made sure to leave enough food in there for him, and left a note saying that it was SPECIFICALLY for Simon, not Derek.

I started hauling the stuff to the door, and propped it open. I ran down the hall and in to the elevator, praying no one was taking a surprise midnight stroll. I hurried over to where the lounge was (the desk guy had been kind enough to give me directions) and found him waiting for me, the door propped open. I smiled and went over to one of the many mini-fridges in the room. Turns out, each employee had the option of getting one to keep their shit cold, and the cost of maintenance was taken out of their payroll. Well, desk guy had a big, fat paycheck apparently, and didn't mind splurging a little. Not that I wasn't grateful!

I moved his energy drinks to the door, catching his nod that it was okay, and loaded the stuff in. It took me three more trips up and down to get all the stuff, and then I was done. I thanked him, and then went back upstairs. Now, all I had to do was guard the fridge in our room like it held the last food in the world. Which, figuratively, it did.

I made sure to chain it up with a convenient little bike chain I conveniently "found" on a bike that was conveniently "abandoned" in the parking lot. Let's just say I'm faster that an obese guy that probably shouldn't be riding a bike anyways, and wouldn't really need the chain to lock up his bike, because he'd crush it before he got the chance to. Damn, I'm good! So I chained the handle of the fridge to my wrist, but not before dragging a few pillows and blankets over. Cuz I'd get chilly, you know? Tori bid her goodnight to me, smirking at my makeshift bed, before going to sleep in her undoubtedly warm, comfy, giant bed. But hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

When I woke up in the morning, it was not of my own accord. But hey, a giant guy looming over you with a scowl on his face and a rumbling tummy that I could hear even through my sleep would wake anyone up, right? I blinked sleepily before smiling.

"Too good to steal Simon's food, eh?" I joked, before remembering my chained wrist and huddling closer to my box of treasures. Derek loomed harder.

"Where is all the food?" he asked me slowly, seeing what I would reply.

"Well, that'd for me to know and you to find out when you give in," I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"You do realize that I can easily go out and buy food?"

"Not when all the credit cards and cash we have are in my broket, now, can you?" I asked, smiling smugly. He looked confused for a second.

"Broket?" he asked me.

"Bra… and pocket… together make broket!" I cheered. He cringed before smiling broadly and cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh, HEYYYYYLL NAH!" I shouted, covering my babies with my free arm.

"You are NOT going to feel me up just so you can get some damn food!" I yelled loudly, enough for everyone to hear. I heard chuckling from the bedroom part of my room, which I took to be Tori. To his credit, he actually looked disappointed for a second. I took that as a compliment… but maybe he was just hungry.

"So this is the genius prank. You steal all our food… and money… and watch me suffer."

"Yup!" I said, grinning broadly. "Oh and Tori's pretty sure you'll be eating the couch by noon, so she's going to have the camera ready. And don't even THINK about trying to pull me away from this fridge or sneak past me, because that sir, is cheating, as I am neither faster nor stronger than you. So there." He shook his head, sighing, before plopping down before me.

"Seriously? There's absolutely nothing?"

"Nope! I was like the Grinch! There's not a crumb left big enough for a mouse, let alone a wolf!" I smiled and sat back against the fridge.

"Damn, I'm getting kind of hungry," I said five minutes later. Derek looked at me with those sad, puppy dog eyes as I gradually, deliberately brought my hand to the door. I opened it and brought out a small carton of orange juice and a bagel. I rummaged around for a second more, keeping an eye on my food, and snagged a squeeze packet of cream cheese.

"Mmm," I said, licking my finger after spreading the creamy topping on my bagel. I swear Derek whimpered. I took a nice, rich bite, chewing slowly. I cracked open the orange juice and took a long sip before putting it back down. I finished my bagel the way those people in the chocolate commercials do, all with the eyes closed and the lip-licking. When I finished, I crumpled the carton in to a ball and chucked it at Derek.

"Put it in the trash, litterer!" I screamed at him, and he obliged.

Throughout the day, people came and asked me for food, to which I obeyed, except when it was Derek, who came and went every so often, seeing if I would change my mind of soften up. I never did. I watched him get more and more restless, until finally he stayed away for a longer period of time than usual.

"Tori, get the camera and find Derek!" I shrieked, and I heard her running footsteps. I checked the time on my phone, and found it to be just after two. Awesome. I heard maniacal laughter, and inched as far forward as my restraint would let me. I saw Derek sitting on the couch, pillow in his hands, face buried in it. Tori was laughing so hard, she was literally crying, all while taking pictures at an incredible rate. As I looked closer, I saw Derek's mouth moving. Then I got it.

Derek was eating the pillow.

"OHMIGOD!" I yelled, falling on the floor instantly, paralyzed with laughter.

"Mr. Bae, come and see your son!" I choked out, and heard him come running. He opened the door, took sight of me ROTFLMAO, and then followed my gaze to the couch. Playing along with my hilarious scheme (okay, I recruited him to do this before, I kind of planned on Derek eating something normally inedible), he took the newspaper from its spot on the coffee table. He rolled it up and hit Derek over the head with it, saying "No! Bad Derek! Don't eat that!" Derek dropped it immediately, curling in to a ball. Okay, apparently, he was part dog too. Whatever.

Tori was getting all of this, still laughing along with me. Simon walked in, took one look, and shook his head, LOL'ing too.

"I knew it, one day he'd get hungry enough to do this, I just knew it." I suddenly realized what had just happened, and I scrambled behind me. I threw open the mini-fridge door and rummaged around until I found the bag I was looking for, all the way in the back. I crawled back to the doorway, where I could see what was happening, and tossed Derek the bag.

"Please, don't eat me! Take this instead!" I squealed as he caught it. He peered inside, and then his face broke in to a wide grin. He pulled out a McDonald's burger and tossed me a look that said both "I hate you so much right now" and "thanks so much for the food". He unwrapped it and bit in to it with a dreamy expression.

"Later, you'll pay for that," he mumbled through his mouthful, and I laughed.

"Oh wait!" I remembered, and stood up, unchaining myself from the door. I reached down the front of my shirt, pulled out three guys' wallets, and threw them at Derek, who caught them automatically.

"There's your money!" I cackled, and hi-fived Tori, standing next to me. He looked down at his own black wallet and opened it. He then looked up at me and cocked an eyebrow, and I sighed. I reached back inside my shirt and pulled out a folded $20. I tossed it to him.

"Fine, there. Happy?" He looked back inside the wallet and looked at me pointedly one more time. I smiled cheekily at him and reached back in one last time. I pulled out a crinkly foil packet and tossed it to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Nice, hot stuff. Any reason you got one in there?" He just looked back down, busying himself with the wallet. I noticed the tips of his ears starting to turn red. I saw his dad starting to prepare a look and a speech, Simon was struck dumb, and Tori was looking at me like "you've gone there?". I shook my head at her, and she calmed down. I mean, I'd have told her, right? I was suddenly glad that Aunt Lauren was out shopping for some food to combat Derek's inevitable making-up-for-what-he-missed-eating-session, because I don't think the foil packet would go down to well with her… I grinned as I watched all their reactions.

"Damn, I'm good!"

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**No, they're never actually going to use the thing inside of the crinkly foil packet (yes, all you people looking for a good lemon are so disappointed). Remember, it's rated T! And innuendo doesn't count, does it? Not for me! So yeah, I made it nice and long to make up for the crappy, half-assed one last time, which is kind of why it's getting up so late. I'll redo the 2****nd**** chapter if I find I have time. So yeah, please review! I got 10 reviews for the last one, so can we average a 15 on this chapter? Just cuz it's long and I worked extra super hard on it and made a CoD reference in it and Liz showed up? PLEASE? **

**(PS I'll give you guys some Chlerek love (you know you want it!) if you make it to 15 reviews! No, that's not a bribe! Gosh!)**


	4. You've Justin Pranked!

**Okay, it's late, I know. No, I haven't forgotten about you guys, jeez! Just… read, alright? Explanation later.**

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Derek's POV

I saw Chloe practically taunting me as she sat on her bed and watched me get chewed out. I mean, it's not like I planned on using crinkly foil wrapper thing! I wasn't really even aware that it had been in there! And I know that Chloe had no access to the outside world aside from our little venture the other day. So that basically left Simon. I looked over to him when my father's gaze wasn't exactly on me, and I cocked an eyebrow, silently asking "Did you put it in there?" In response, he gave me a shit-eating grin, and I snarled under my breath. I returned my attention to my father, who was currently rambling on about being ready and the right time and all that. I decided to tell him the truth.

"Dad. I never planned on using it. I didn't even buy it. It was planted there as a prank. Simon did it." His gaze snapped on to my brother, who immediately looked horrified.

"Is this true?" he asked, his look piercing.

"Yeah." He averted his eyes, but I saw him look daggers at me for ratting him out. I relaxed back in to the couch as I took a bite of my burger. Mmm, a big mouthful of warm, meaty, cheesy goodness. I closed my eyes and savored the taste.

Once I was done eating and my mind was cleared of the hunger-driven haze, I started to plan revenge. I thought hard about all the things Chloe really hated. I wracked my brain, and suddenly an idea came to my mind. I grinned evilly, and I just then noticed the prankee herself still sitting on her bed, watching me. Her face was scared.

"What are you planning?" I snickered as she cowered a bit, probably from my up-to-no-good smile.

"Nothing, my dear. Nothing…" She moved over to sit next to me, putting on a brave face. I saw right through it that she was terrified. I moved my head in to the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet, fragrant scent that was 100% Chloe. I came up to the front of her face agonizingly slowly, and I saw in her eyes that she was impatient. Oh well.

I moved my lips in close to hers, keeping my eyes open. I swear I came within a millimeter of her before I took a deep breath and moved back suddenly, killing the moment. I smirked evilly. I looked at her, and she was breathing deeply, blinking her eyes as if she just surfaced from being underwater. She gave me a look and then spoke.

"That was mean," she murmured, and it took all my energy not to slam the words back in to her mouth with mine.

"Mmm, you regretting it now?" I asked her, and she scowled at me.

"Nooo…" she muttered, and walked out of the room, and I put my arms behind my head, smiling. At that moment, Simon walked in, and he looked kind of pissed. He came over and sat next to me before going off on a rant on how pissed he was at Tori. I didn't really catch, or care, why.

"So yeah, can we try and get the both of them with a prank? You know, guys VS girls? C'mon, it'll be fun!" He smirked at me, and I sighed, and nodded.

"Alright, so what did you have in mind?" he asked me, and I told him my plan.

"So, Chloe really hates this one music artist, Justin Bieber." He frowned, apparently he had heard of him.

"I was thinking that maybe I could see what I could do to replace her ring tone and alarm clock chime with some of his songs. Then maybe plaster all her things with posters and stuff of him. What do you think?" In response, Simon grinned.

"Tori hates him like she used to hate Chloe. Which is pretty bad." A broad smile cemented itself on to my face. This was going to be a hell of a lot of fun. I sat back, wondering when we could do this. Chloe would probably be on full night protection mode, and I was half worried that she was setting up a trip wire alarm or something. I looked over to Simon.

"So when should we begin setting it up?" I asked, and his brow furrowed as he thought.

"I was thinking, we could- hold the shit! I just had an idea!" His face was suddenly lit up like a three-year-old's on Christmas morning, and he whipped out his phone.

"Lemme see if I remember it," he muttered to himself, tapping his chin with his finger.

"Got it!" he said, and then typed a number in to the phone. He placed it to his ear and waited, fingers crossed. I heard the dial tone, and then a voice picking up.

"Hello?" It was a feminine voice, and I gave Simon a questioning look. He waved me off, focusing on his conversation.

"Bethany? It's Simon, remember, from a few years ago?"

"Simon? Like, from Rochester High? Freshman year?" The girl's voice turned excited, full of remembrance.

"Yeah, the same one. Hey, so I'm back in the area-" he was cut off.

"Ohmigod, really? How long? I wanna see you, it's been too long!" Oh, apparently this had been one of his many admirers. I remembered this one, Bethany: she was short, blonde, and cunning. She was vicious like one of those rat dogs that the prissy Hollywood stars carry around in their purses. She had tried every single method in the book, and a few unwritten ones, to get Simon wrapped around her pinkie, including using me. I still held a grudge to her for harassing him like that.

"Yeah, and I need a favor. Are you still in this area?" he asked her.

"Yeah, of course. You wanna meet up somewhere?" Simon grasped at his chance.

"Sure! Let's say, six at the Starbucks on Worthington street downtown?" I could almost picture the girl covering the mouthpiece with her hand and doing a happy dance in her room.

"Sounds fine! See you there!" I heard a soft click as she hung up, and Simon sat back, snapping the phone shut. He looked at me wearily.

"Remember Bethany?" he asked unnecessarily.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget your old annoying stalker? Any reason you contacted her?" He nodded.

"Yeah, and you'll see why when we get there." He left it at that and walked out of the room, leaving me to scratch my head and eat the rest of the burger in my bag.

At five thirty, Simon walked in wearing fresh clothes and told me to get up.

"We're leaving now. Dad's out with Lauren, doing hell if I know what, and Tori and Chloe are also sneaking out, but they're hitting an Italian joint down the road. Chloe's incognito," he added quickly after seeing my expression. I nodded, and then picked up my jacket.

"Time for our date with the devil."

We made our way to the center of the city we were staying in, which didn't take too long. It was kind of small, and luckily the motel was centrally located. We walked in to the Starbucks, and I ordered a coffee for each of us with my newly liberated cash. I had earned a few extra dollars, if you call temporary employment as an unofficial bellboy at the motel earning money. A dude's gotta make a living, right?

At exactly 6, a saw a blonde mane of hair come in through the door, scan the small, crowded shop, and come over to us, smiling her man-eating smile. What, I didn't name it, Simon did!

"Hey guys," Bethany literally purred when she seated herself in the chair in front of us, and I tried hard not to cringe. She turned her eyes on Simon before giving me a quick glance. Which turned in to a double take. Then a triple take.

"What did you do to your hair?" she asked, and for about the thousandth time, I cursed Chloe as well as Loreal.

"Making a statement. Breast cancer," I mumbled, and she just raised an eyebrow. Whatever. She turned back to Simon.

"So you need a favor?" she asked, flicking at a manicured fingertip. Simon cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Uh, do you want a coffee or anything?" he asked out of politeness, trying to say something else before spilling his big plan.'

"A coffee would be great," she told him, and Simon flicked a glance my way, trying to avoid her stare.

"I've got it," I said, standing.

"Mocha latte, decaf, nonfat milk, two sugars," she instructed me, and I nodded, setting off.

I bought the coffee, looking back at the two of them to make sure that Simon was okay. I mean, you never knew when a girl might have a backup mafia team ready to kidnap at a command. Or was I just paranoid?

I brought the latte back to the couch and set it in front of her, receiving a snake-like smile in return. Ugh, repressing a shudder.

"Well, Bethany-" Simon started before being cut off again.

"Beth," she said, flashing him an alluring smile.

"Uh, okay. So Beth, I need a favor. Do you still like that one artist, Justin Whats-his-face?" She nodded slowly, trying to figure out where he was going.

"Well, you know how you went to a bunch of his concerts and got all his Hot Topic shirts?" She nodded again, eyeing him.

"Well, I was wondering, can I borrow some of them for a few days or so? I'll bring them back washed." She was giving him a strange look before clearing her expression with a quick shake of her head. It switched back to seductress.

"What's in it for me?" she murmured, and he thought for a moment. His face took on a terrified look before it set in determination. Oh crap, what was he thinking?

"If you let me borrow your shirts, I'll…" His voice faltered. He gritted his teeth and tried again.

"I'll go on a date with you."

Did the world just come crashing down? Has the apocalypse occurred? What in the hell just happened? Beth looked shell-shocked too for a moment, almost afraid to believe her own luck. She quickly regained her wits.

"Well, that sounds perfect! Any idea where you wanna take me, Cassa Nova?" For some reason, I could tell she wasn't kidding with that last part. Simon nodded, resigned.

"Yes. Oh, and if you want the date to be entertaining, you'll include all your stickers and posters of him." She tapped her cup with her fingernail, considering the offer.

"Two hours minimum, you'll at least fake, and I mean fake it _good_, having fun?" Simon nodded to all of it.

"You have yourself a deal! Oh, and rip, crinkle, burn, or otherwise harm any of my things, and I'll rip you three new ones and pour lemon juice in them. And when you wake up one morning, you'll find yourself missing some _very important_ parts, if you catch my drift." Her bright smile was a huge contrast in comparison to her words. I shuddered mentally.

"Alright. Meet here again tomorrow, 7 o' clock?" She nodded, grinning, and then stood up.

"When do you want the materials delivered?" she asked, all business now.

"Actually, can I follow you home and pick them up now? It's kind of urgent."

"Sure, I'll give you guys a ride." She included me, must be trying to win Simon's approval. We walked outside and got in to her car. She drove us over to an area closer to the old high school we went to for a year or so. She stopped at a modest house and got out. She invited us in, and I stood in the doorway downstairs while Simon went up with her. He came back down ten minutes later carrying two small boxes. I helped him put them in the trunk while Beth started the car.

"Back at the Starbucks, or somewhere else?" Simon looked to me, shrugged, and then turned back to her.

"Actually, can you take us to the Motel-8 right by the freeway exit?" She said yes, and then took off back down the street.

A little while later, we were standing in the elevator lobby of the motel, each holding a box full of apparel all with some form of Justin Bieber propaganda on it. FML.

"How the hell can anyone have this much stuff on one freaking pop star?" I asked Simon furiously, and he just shook his head, eyes closed.

"I have no idea. She's like a crack dealer with this stuff. Back when we lived here, I heard that she was running some kind of black market for this stuff, selling it from her trunk in the school parking lot to fellow junkies. That's why I thought to call her."

"Well, you kind of screwed yourself with that deal," I pointed out, and he nodded, looking sour. Then the button dinged for the elevator,

"Yeah, whatever. Is everyone still out?" he asked me as we got in. I frowned, and then took in a deep breath.

"Seeing as this is the only elevator, unless they took the stairs, then they're all still gone, lucky for us." We got off on our floor and went down the hall until we came to the guy room. I opened it and we went in. I stashed the stuff in the back of our closet, praying our father wouldn't poke around in there.

In another half hour, both rooms were once again full. The girls and the adults had arrived back within five minutes of each other, the girls arriving first. Good for them. Surprisingly, neither my dad nor Lauren suspected a thing, so it seemed. I took comfort in the small miracle.

Simon and I both faked going to sleep once it got late enough. I listened hard for the sounds of everyone's quiet breathing. Once I was positive they were all asleep, I beckoned my brother to follow me. Silently, I got out the boxes and we got over to the other room. I pried open their closet quietly as Simon raided the drawers.

"Do we leave the, uh, undergarments?" Simon whisper-called, and I could see his blush from across the room.

"Yeah, unless she had Bieber underwear," I snickered back, and Simon just looked at me solemnly.

"Put nothing past her, bro." I went back to emptying the closet, which turned out to have a lot more stuff in it than I expected. I hung shirts and pants all with the little booger's name on them, being careful to avoid Chloe's aunt's things. She was at least 5 sizes bigger than the girls, not that she was huge, just that they were tiny. I was certain they'd leave her clothes alone. But just to be on the safe side, I figured, I'd take her clothes back with me to our room once the job was done.

I started taking the posters from the boxes and plastering the walls with them, being sure not to wrinkle them at all. Simon helped me, and started getting the stickers all over the girls personal things, including phones, iPods and shoes. Beth had told us we could keep the stickers, since the ones she had given us were all copies anyways.

I stepped back to admire our handiwork. The whole room looked like an eleven-year-olds dream, with the guy's face beaming at you from every corner. But just then, I remembered something. Carefully, I pulled out Tori's laptop, which is what their iPods were synced with. I connected each one, and then pulled the CD's out of the box. I inserted each one and added all the songs to a play list. On each iPod, I removed all the other songs and only left the single play list. Since they used the alarms on the iPods to wake up, I replaced the normal tone with Bieber's. I then unplugged the computer and put it in the pile to take back with us.

"Damn, we're good!" I told Simon, who hi-fived me. We grabbed all the stuff, taking care not to leave anything behind. That included wallets, since they could go out and buy stuff. We went downstairs, lugging all our stuff with us. I nodded to the front desk guy, who took us around the corner to the employee locker room. He pointed us towards a supply closet in the back, where we dumped all the stuff. I slipped him a 10 as we made our way back upstairs.

In the morning, I was awakened by a loud shriek that I hope to God I'll never hear again in my life.

"DEREK!" It wasn't, as I expected, Chloe's voice, but Tori's, and I could hear it from down the hall. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised it people in the next state heard it! In the background I heard Justin Bieber's infamous beginning to "Baby". I rubbed my eyes, grinning, and got out of bed. Simon, in the bathroom, leaned over to beam in my direction. I looked back and saw my dad shaking his head at me, smiling, asking me silently what I had done.

I slipped on some clothes and went over to the girls room with Simon tailing me. I knocked on the door and it was opened a second later by a furious Chloe.

"I hate you!" she screamed, batting at me. I snickered and dodged it, inviting myself in. I went in to the main room and found Tori standing in the middle, looking at me like a bull about to run the matador through.

"Give my clothes back," she snarled, sparks flying at her fingertips.

"Hey, no permanently injuring anyone," Lauren cautioned from her bed, where she was sitting up and examining the work with a smile on her face. Tori flashed a scorching look in her direction before focusing back on me.

"YOU! You helped him, didn't you?" Tori screamed suddenly, her gaze flying behind me to where Simon was.

"They're both in on it!" Chloe yelled, stomping out from behind Simon. I couldn't hold it anymore, I started cackling. Because since they had no other choice, both girls, and Lauren, were wearing Bieber shirts and sweatpants. Chloe launched herself at me, which surprisingly worked, probably because I wasn't focusing. I landed on my ass, still laughing it up, as she clawed at me. She was then hauled off by Simon. He then whipped out a camera, which I had incidentally forgotten (silly Derek) and took pictures at lightning speed. Tori shrieked and sent a binding spell at him, so I went back, caught the camera, and picked up his job.

Half an hour later, Chloe and Tori were both sitting on the couch, being comforted by Lauren, who kept saying "it's only for a day". I was still laughing and snapping the occasional photo. Chloe glared at me.

"You will pay, Derek Souza. You will pay."

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**Mmmhmm. Okay, so yeah, I've had a lot going on, etc. etc., and haven't had time to UD. But I have to say this here: school is starting up again in a matter of hours, and I wont be able to update as often. So just be prepared when updates come kind of fewer and farther between. Otherwise, continue to enjoy the story :) And yes, I know you guys were promised Chlerek love, and you earned it, definitely, but the kiss was all I could do for now. But it's DEFINITELY (probably…) coming next time. I just didn't know where to fit it in here. But yeah, I know where I can fit it next time. So yeah, by now you should know the drill people! Since you read, you… come on, you know it… REVIEW!**

****At the reviewer **Darkestpowerslover234**: I reread the chapter, and found the finger part you were referring to in your review. I want to clear this up here: that wasn't an innuendo. Since she used her finger to spread the cream cheese, she then licked it off. The Derek whimpering part was at the sight of the savoring of food, not in any sexual way. Jeesh, get cho' mind outta the gutter! JK, but yeah, that's why. Sorry for any confusion.**


	5. The New World Order

**Kay, just have to say this: I meant to offend or upset anyone with the previous prank. I'm sure that Justin Bieber is loved and cherished by some, but I was just illustrating how some people dislike him and all. I feel like less people liked that chapter for that reason. So I'm apologizing here for that. Sorry :'(**

**On another note, I'd like to send a shout-out to my sister, Elizmiss9, for coming up with the name for that last chapter, "You've Justin Pranked". She's done a story on the Immortals series by Alyson Noel, so check that out if you've read it. Thanks for your awesome comedic genius!**** There I said it, happy? XD Love you too :)**

**And yes, there shall be Chlerek love. Enjoi.**

Chloe's POV

As I lay on my bed, still wearing that horrid clothing that Derek and Simon had gotten from who-knows-where. I was still fuming, but I was confident that my clothes and my stuff would be returned to normal by tomorrow.

I was so pissed at Derek… but at the same time, I missed him so much. I knew it would seem weak and girly of me to just get over the pranking to be with him, but that option was looking more and more appealing by the minute. Plus, it would mean getting him of my back, but at the same time getting Simon and probably Tori against me. But with Derek at my side, we could sort of be the Bonnie and Clyde of pranking around here. Yeah, I liked that idea. Pranking but avoiding being pranked.

And seeing as we were currently 2 for 2 on pranks, that could mean a truce would be in order. So I had to go talk to him to arrange that. Business first, arranging the truce and setting limits and agreements. Then, if I was lucky, a nice hot make out session. Yeah, that sounded good, like hot chocolate on a cold windy day. Mmm, Derek was my hot chocolate.

I decided to talk to him tomorrow, once I was in my normal clothes and he could look at me with a straight face. Until then, apparently I was stuck in this… stuff.

Just then, Tori walked in, a scowl on her face.

"So how are you going to get him back for this?" She gestured to her outfit, all decked out with the face and name of Justin Bieber. I kept a poker face on the outside, playing my cards right to get away with switching sides without being detected.

"Um, I'm not sure yet. Any ideas?" She thought, and then shook her head.

"Surprisingly, nada. We'll probably think of something soon. Wanna brainstorm?" I had to avoid this, I knew I couldn't convincingly "plot" to prank Derek when really I was turning tail on her. She'd see through me in a heartbeat. I decided to change the subject.

"I can't plot on an empty stomach, what time is it?" I hadn't eaten since around 8 that morning, so my stomach was understandably growling. She looked on her phone, and announced "Just after 6. Mr. Bae said we're eating in tonight, so we'd better go snag the good frozen meals before the vacuum cleaner in the next room gets to them." I nodded and got up to go with her. We walked over to the guys room next door, which, unfortunately, had the freezer inside. Seriously, every other room in the motel had one had one? Cheap…

As we picked out the meals, Derek came over, snickered at our outfits again, and then leaned against the wall.

"So, you two aren't planning anything further then? No pranks, no tricks?" he asked slyly, and I rolled my eyes.

"If we were, then we wouldn't tell you, now would we?" Tori told him. Internally, I thought that soon Derek and I would be saying the same back to her.

"Go play with Simon for a while, you're bugging us," Tori whined at him, and I snickered at her intentionally childish voice. Derek just stayed where he was.

"Simon's in the shower. I don't have anyone to play with." He put on a puppy dog face and looked directly at me, and I turned my head away before I could get the worst of it.

"Nuh uh. I don't wanna play with you, unless it's baseball and you're acting as the ball." Derek cringed comically.

"Ouch, harsh baby. Are you sure? Because there are other games we can play that are a lot more fun…" his sentence trailed off suggestively, and it took all my willpower not to whimper. Just a few more hours, then he's mine again, a few more hours…

"No. We're enemies, remember?" I told him, and he shrugged, going back to distant and emotionless.

"Fine. Later." He turned and left, probably to go play World of Warcraft of whatever he did in his free time. Tori looked at me almost sympathetically.

"That must be kind of hard for you, having to fight him and all," she said. I shook my head, I had to keep her thinking I was still against him.

"Nah, this is just me making up for all the times he was bitchy to me." I put on my best "evil revenge" face, like I believed what I was saying.

"C'mon, these are gonna defrost before they're even in the micro." I grabbed her elbow and steered her towards the door quickly. _Not much longer…_

Derek POV

When Simon was done in the bathroom, he came out fully dressed and looking ready for his date. Only thing wrong was his expression. He looked like a kid who had just been asked to stay after school and clean all the whiteboards by hand. I sniggered.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. You brought this on yourself. Where you meeting her?"

"The Starbucks," he muttered. "We're going, God help me, _rollerblading_ at the park, and then we're going to a little bistro place she knows. I think I'm going to die." He looked genuinely scared, but there was nothing I could do.

"Take your phone, you could pretend go get sick or something and I could pick you up," I offered. He shook his head, looking determined.

"No. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I just hope the prank was worth going through this hell." I fist bumped him, and told him it would be. He left the room, telling him to cover for him with the others. Right, cover for him. I loved my brother, but I was fairly certain that Chloe would switch sides once I got to her tomorrow morning. I was tired of just the her and I pranking, and I was ready to start getting the others too. This would be the first attack of the New World Order. I was going to tell everyone that he had a hot date with a girl downtown, and watch the fireworks.

Until then, though, I had some time to kill. What to do, what to do. I checked my wallet, I had about two bucks. Okay, I'm not leaving then. I checked my dad's laptop, which he had bought while sometime on the run. I'm not even going to ask where he got the cash for that. I opened the main screen and opened up an internet page. The cursor blinked at me when I clicked on the URL bar, my mind empty of any websites to go to. I sighed, and then typed in a gaming website.

I clicked on the first one that was in the box on the screen, and waited for it to load. Turns out it was a game called Seed. You had to breed flowers. I sat back and cracked my knuckles. This was right up my alley. I set to work making genetic enhancements to them, smiling when a particularly cool one came up. This game was freaking fun!

"Wow. Just when I thought you couldn't get any weirder…" I looked over my shoulder and saw Tori, staring at the screen, a confused look on her face.

"What-… why-… you know what, it's not worth it. Have fun with your girly-ass game," she muttered, and turned back out of the room.

"What the hell were you doing in here anyways?" I yelled back at her, but felt my cheeks go a bit red anyways at her words. I cursed myself for not putting the deadbolt on the door.

A little while later, my dad walked in.

"Where's Simon?" he asked me, and I grinned internally, keeping a straight face on the outside. Time to implement the plan.

"Well, see dad, he caught up with a girl he used to know at Starbucks yesterday, and he told me that he was going to hit the town with her tonight. Oh and he said to tell you earlier, sorry, I kind of forgot." I made sure my face was deadly serious, and he looked like he believed me. Oh yeah, crinkly foil wrapper payback, bro!

"Why didn't he tell me this before?" he asked me, slowly, controlled.

"He said you'd probably stop him, but nothing could prevent him from seeing the love of his life. You'd only be an obstacle that he could overcome." I watched gleefully as his face turned slightly puce, and then he took a few deep breaths.

"Do you know where he went?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope. All he said was not to be worried if he didn't come back until the wee hours of the morning." This just kept getting better and better.

"I'm going to go talk to Lauren, and-"

"You can't go and find him, that'll just make him want to sneak out some more. We can move motels though, that might help," I quickly suggested, not wanting him to ruin Simon's "fun night on the town" by taking him home and cutting it short. He nodded.

"Okay, we'll do that. And when he comes home," he tapped one fist to his other palm, "he is going to get it." I waited until he was out of earshot, and I started snickering. This was going to be hilarious!

After an hour, I thought of something that I hadn't before. Simon was going to find out what happened tonight, which left a window when I wouldn't be in an alliance with anybody. That would be a perfect opportunity for him to get me. I decided that I might as well go talk to Chloe then, and see if she'd join me. Which probably meant I had to return her clothes. Oh well.

I walked downstairs and pulled all the smallest items of clothing out of the boxes in the lounge. On another thought, I pulled out Tori's laptop too. I stuck them all in a bag and carried it back up to the room. I stuffed it in the closet and went to the girls room. My dad was sitting on the couch, talking with Lauren, and I heard the shower running. Chloe was lounging on her bed, and playing a game on her iPod. I couldn't blame her for not listening to it, honestly. I sat down on the bed, startling her. She raised an eyebrow at my expression. I leaned down close to her ear, pushing her back on to the pillows, making sure no one could see us.

"I'm offering a deal you don't want to miss. Come by my room in ten minutes. Cover for yourself. There will be incentives." She nodded once, and went back to the iPod, being subtle. Good girl, she was learning. I got up, and covered my walking in by pretending to look for the pad of hotel stationary. I held it up as I walked out.

"Doing some blueprints for another prank," I said with what I hoped was a convincing smile to my father. He nodded and continued his conversation. Back in my room, I passed the time by arranging all her stuff on the bed behind me, where she could see it without being able to get to it. Soon enough, she walked in.

"Your cover story?" I asked her curtly.

"I'm going down to get some ice," she said, throwing the bucket down on the floor.

"Make it qui-" She stopped as she saw all her things in front of her, but directly behind me. She returned her attention to me.

"The incentive?" she asked, giving a half smile.

"You guessed it," I told her.

"Well, I think an alliance is now in order. Did you hear about Simon sneaking out from my dad?" She nodded.

"Well, that's actually a load of crap. I'll tell you the real story later. But that was me pranking Simon. And I need to go in to an alliance with you now even more than before, because when he comes home and realizes what I did, I'll be attacked immediately. But with a mind as deviously devilish as yours on my side," I gave an evil smile, "It wont be half as bad. And honestly, I've really missed you." I let my true emotion come through in this sentence, so she could see that it wasn't just professional benefit that made me approach her.

"So what do you say? You get your clothes back, get to go against Tori, Simon, my dad, and Lauren, and also get this?" I gestured to myself. She grinned.

"Sounds awesome. But I do have a few conditions." She held up a finger.

"One. We agree not to prank each other, forever and always… or at least until this whole war is over." I nodded.

"Agreed."

"Okay. Two. We do nothing that will make the others either a) hate either one of us for life, or b) permanently damage them or their property. Because I know Tori, and I know she'll make me pay back every cent of any damaged goods." It was my turn to crack a smile.

"Also agreed. That it?"

"One more. You keep the streaks. It really gives you this feminist look, and it's kind of hot." I shook my head, smiling, and sighed.

"Alright. Agreed. Now for the fun stuff." I walked forward and crushed my lips to her, and felt her eager response. She shifted forward, pulling me down for a better grip. Her fists tangled in my hair, and damn if it didn't feel awesome as hell. I breathed in shallowly as I kissed her passionately, bringing my hands around her tiny waist and hoisting her up. Oh, I had missed this. I must have been delusional if I thought I could go for any length of time without her.

She broke the kiss first, very abruptly.

"Not that I don't love doing that, and don't plan on coming right back after I'm done, but-" she reached around me, grabbed an outfit from the bed, and skipped backwards, leaving me growling and with arms that felt empty without her.

"Make it quick," I said, low, and heard her light laugh from the bathroom. And quick she was. In less than a minute, she was back in my arms, and I was mentally considering keeping her there forever.

"You know, I really, really missed this," I murmured to her between kisses. I felt her smile against my lips.

"So come up with a solution, genius," she said.

"Never leave."

At ten thirty, Simon finally walked in. I was hoping for a bit later, to go with what everyone thought, but hey, what can you do? We were all seated in the living area, including the girls. Chloe had changed back in to the JB clothes, so as not to tip off anyone. My dad was in the center, a steely look in his eyes. Simon took one look and knew exactly what happened. He gave me a quick glare before my dad launched in to a tirade.

"What were you thinking? You could have been spotted and kidnapped and taken back by the Edison Group! You met up with a girl that could have been a spy or something, and-" He continued on for a good long while after that, with Chloe and I just smiling in the background when the adults didn't notice. Ah, victory felt good. Once Simon was pronounced "grounded" and confined to the room until we left the motel, Chloe and I snuck downstairs. We walked hand in hand towards the desk clerk guy, who kind of seemed to be in on everything. He gave us a nod, and Chloe slipped a 5 his way as we went over to the employee lounge. I mean, making out in front of everyone was fun for like a minute, but then people started to get uncomfortable and Lauren butted in and yadda ya… yeah we had learned that lesson the hard way. So paying a bit extra was worth the privacy. Hold on, paying… I paused, as I distinctly remembered taking her wallet and not returning it. I looked at her quizzically, and she just gave me a sly smile. She held up my brown wallet, waved it for a second, and put it back in my pocket. Damn, she was a pretty good pickpocket! Wonder where she picked that up.

I led her to the biggest couch in the area and lay her down on it. Slowly, tenderly, I pressed my mouth to hers. The taste of her was heady and sweet, and I took it in eagerly. She fisted the back of my shirt and pressed me closer to her. I took her face in both my hands and regretfully pulled it away. But I pressed my face in to her neck and sucked gently on the skin there. She moaned quietly, and traced her hands all over my shoulders and neck. I traveled up and down the side of her face, inhaling deeply. I kissed a trail down her chin, coming to the corner of her mouth. Impatient, she pulled me to where she wanted me. Our mouths moved in unison, and every cell in my body screamed that I was perfectly happy right where I was. But we had other business to attend to. Unwillingly, I backed away.

"Business time?" she asked breathlessly. I nodded.

"Alright." She sat up and straightened her shirt, then brushed her hair back with her hands.

"So, I call to order this meeting of… what should we call ourselves?" she asked. "Every awesome group needs an awesome name." I nodded slowly.

"I'm not sure. What about…"

"The Dirty Mistresses Club!" she said brightly. I just looked at her, and then she wilted.

"I watch too much Grey's Anatomy, huh?"

"Ya think? Alright, moving on from the name, because we can decide that later. What should our first official prank be? Simon's doesn't count, we weren't allied in that yet." Her brow furrowed.

"Well, we could always leave Tori's stuff hidden for longer, but I want to do something new too." I nodded.

"I think that we should get my dad and Lauren with it too. We could always do a series prank, kind of like what I did to you, only more complicated." Her head bobbed slowly, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, like we can rig some doors, or set some trip wire alarms, or set up four different things, each triggered by one person, that affect the other three," she added.

"Good idea. But how to implement it…" For the next half hour, we figured out the mechanics of the prank. Myself, I thought it was going to rock. We figured out what we needed, and it turns out we already had most of it. But it was going to require some of the hotel's materials (desk clerk guy, again) and a whole hell of a lot of fishing line. I knew a place just down the street that was open really late that sold it, but I had to conserve my slowly dwindling supply of money, so we'd figure out exactly how much we needed first.

"Alright, so Lauren's is the alarm, and it leads to the other rooms, right?" Chloe asked me, drawing the diagram on a piece of paper she snagged from a nearby table.

"Right, and the rooms are 40 feet apart, so that's how much we'll need for the first one. And Tori's is-"

"The bathroom door. That one hits the closets," she finished.

"Mmmhmm," I murmured. "And Simon's is his insulin kit, and that gets both refrigerators."

"Right. And the last is Mr. Bae's, and that's his glasses. That one goes to… the toilets and tubs?" she asked, her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to decipher the drawing.

"Yeah. Here, let me see." I took the pad of paper, and I examined it.

"So in all, that's about 1500 feet of fishing line. Damn, how much is that going to be?" I stood up and took out my wallet, and eyed the measly 20 bill left in it.

"I'm not sure if this'll cover it." Before I could protest, Chloe slipped another 20 in next to mine. She looked me straight in the eye as she did it.

"We're in this together, so we spend equally." I nodded, and then pulled on my jacket.

"I'm going to get the line, you get the materials. Remember, you cannot fail," I added in a mission director type voice. She smiled and winked.

"I've got it covered."

Chloe POV

Once Derek left, I approached the front desk guy. I kept telling myself I had to play this role, and I couldn't let him see what I was really doing. Besides, Mr. Bae said that we were checking out tomorrow, so who cared what he thought once we were gone? I only half believed that. I really hoped Derek would already be in the car when I was passing this guy tomorrow. Because if he saw how he'd act… let's just say there'd be a guy walking around bowlegged and muttering about girls and their overprotective, overreacting boyfriends…

I put on my best alluring smile as I approached the desk. The guy put down his magazine (I swear to you I saw 'playboy' written on it) and looked up, recognizing me.

"Hey there," I purred, feeling the lines sounding real enough. He raised an eyebrow, having seen me walk in just a while before with Derek.

"Where's your guy?" he asked, subconsciously leaning forward. He couldn't have been more than 20 or so, but he sure wasn't much to look at.

"I ditched him. He was too, ah, _immature _for me. I like an older man," I murmured, trailing my finger along his sleeve while stifling the urge to vomit. He raised his eyebrows, looking pleased. Good, it was working.

"Well, you see _sir_, I need a favor," I continue, looking at him from beneath my lashes. He nodded, spellbound. Okay, I'm sure I'm not _that_ good, and my looks weren't exactly at their best (ahem, black hair, ahem), but this apparently love-starved guy was eating it up! Made my job easier.

"I'm going to need about, oh, 15 of those ice buckets, and 5 or 6 bags of flour from the kitchen," I said, and saw him blink like he just came up from underwater.

"15 b-" He was talking too loudly, and I quickly shushed him.

"Shh, yes, 15 of those and 5 bags of flour. I really need them tonight, and I know that a man in a high position such as yours knows exactly where to get them," I told him, and caught his dazed smile again. But then he frowned.

"I'm not sure I can get those without the management noticing," he worried, and I waved that away.

"They wont notice, they don't care about those silly things. But-" I whispered, moving in close to his ear, "there will be a reward if you help me." I'm pretty sure he whimpered. Uh, ew! He nodded.

"Okay. But please," he paused, and licked his lips, "make it a good reward." He winked, and then left his station. Once I was sure he was out of earshot and sight, I gagged, literally. If he thought I was even coming close to touching him in any form other than a punch or kick, then he was going to be disappointed! I waited about 10 minutes, and then he returned, carrying a box full of my materials.

"Thanks," I purred, going back to as appealing as I knew how. He actually believed me, poor, naïve mama's boy.

"You'll get your reward tomorrow, don't worry," I told him as I took the box, ignoring his offers to help (seriously, not going to set women's rights back a few hundred years by letting that dweeb try and help me). I took the box back to the lounge, where Derek and I agreed to meet. He was already there, having slipped in the back door.

"Got it," he said, holding up a few thick rolls of the line. I grinned.

"Awesome. I got my stuff." I gestured to the box on the table between us. He peeked inside, and said "perfect." I picked up the box, which was surprisingly not that heavy, and waited for him to pick up his bag.

"Time to put our prank together."

The plan was to set up fishing line to four points, each directed at a specific person. The line would lead to something affecting the three other people. Therefore, everyone would get pranked three times, technically by someone else who was supposedly not against them. And there you have it, instant chaos!

The first one we had to set up was Aunt Lauren's. She had her own alarm clock that she used to wake up, so we'd stick some line on the snooze button. Then, we'd thread it over Tori's bed to attach to a bucket of ice resting on the headboard. The same thread would also go through the corridor and in to the guys room, since we'd prop both doors open. It's go to the headboards of the guys beds, also with buckets of ice on them. Once they were all successfully awake at Aunt Lauren's usual time, 5:30 am, the next part would happen.

Since Tori always had to go to the bathroom right when she got up, she'd head over there first. When she pulls the door open, the line going above her head in two directions would be pulled. Those would cause a small chain reaction of tipped over flour buckets in both closets, which would coat everything, according to Derek's calculations of placements. They probably wouldn't get this one until they went to change.

At the same time, when Mr. Bae reaches for his glasses on the bedside table, he'd also pull some wires. This would go to both bathrooms and dump all the dry towels as well as the waterproof items, like deodorant and toothpaste, in to the toilet and tub. When they fell in to the tub, they'd trigger another line wrapped around the shower knob and toilet handle, so the bigger items would be drenched too.

Last would be Simon. He'd go for his morning blood test and insulin injection. His kit would be rigged up to the fridges, and when he picked it up, the line would open both fridges. Also, I was going to rig up some extra line to the food items inside them, so when the doors opened, all the food would come out too. It was going to take a while to get the placements just right while staying absolutely silent, but it's be totally worth it. This was going to be the epicest prank ever. I think I've said that before. Whatever.

It was around 5 in the morning by the time we finally finished, so we had half an hour to relax. After pulling that all-nighter, we didn't want to sleep now and miss all the fun. And yeah, we _"relaxed"_. Wink wink.

We each found a nice little hiding spot in a darkened corner of the symmetrical rooms where we could watch all the fun. We each had a camera- there were two among all of us. One was the guys, belonging to Mr. Bae and one was the girl's, belonging to Tori. **(AN - I'm pretty sure that's who they belong to, cuz I can't really remember and I'm too lazy to look it up, so tell me if I'm wrong :P)**

Just as the clock on my phone screen changed to 5:30 am, I heard the alarm go off. I grinned in the darkness and readied my camera. I heard the beeping stop, and then four girly shrieks from all directions. Wait, four _girly_ shrieks? Oh my God.

I heard Tori swing out of her bed and turn on the light. She stomped over to the bathroom, snarling death threats under her breath. We snapped pictures, with her never noticing the sound. Before she reached the door, though, a large thump from inside caught her attention, right on cue. Mr Bae must've grabbed his glasses. She wrenched open the door in time to see all the stuff beginning the rinse cycle in the toilet and tub. She shrieked again, not moving from her spot though. I knew it was only a matter of time before Simon, having gotten up already, would pick up his kit. Aunt Lauren came over, moaning weakly with Tori at the sight of their stuff. She, however, went forward and turned off the shower.

"Where's Chloe?" Tori yelled suddenly, and I had to stifle giggles. She found it out finally! Aunt Lauren and her exchanged a glance as they got it at the same time.

"She's in on this. Let's go see if Derek got pranked too," my aunt suggested, and they walked off together. I took picture after picture of them, following them silently as Derek taught me. Neither of them noticed the wire still, and I supposed that was a good thing. If they never knew how we did it, then we could use it again… but eventually, one of them would figure it out.

In the guys room, Mr. Bae and Simon were standing together, surveying the damage.

"Was Derek pranked with this too?" Tori asked immediately, and both of them shook their heads.

"An alliance," Mr. Bae breathed, putting it together. "The two people who we least suspected to join up went against the rest of us together. Ingenious." At that moment, in some cosmically synchronized move, Derek and I both jumped up.

"Hell yeah! It was classic!" Derek shouted, just as I yelled "We got you good!" Honestly, sometimes I scared myself with how awesome I was. Not to sound conceited or anything. I cackled and hi-fived Derek. Simon groaned, and then walked over to the bathroom.

"I suppose as long as I'm up," he murmured. In a second, we heard yet another girly scream as the echo of the fridge banging open and its contents flying out sounded. Derek and I laughed in unison, and leaned against the wall for support as we busted up.

"Don't open your closets," he choked out, and I laughed even harder, tears streaming down my face. Tori rolled her eyes, and sighed.

"Well, I suppose I know what this means," she muttered, pissed. Oh yeah.

"IT'S THE NEW WORLD ORDER!" Derek roared.

"Chloe and Derek style!" I added. This was going to kick serious ass. They wouldn't know what was about to hit them.

* * *

**Mmkay. So I'm squeezing in this update tonight. I've had a lot going on, you guys know the story. So review for the Chlerek love! Oh, and I need some prank ideas. Suzi(shumthing shumthing), you've been great with ideas, but people, I need some more! Oh, and the person who comes up with a name for the Chloe and Derek alliance gets a username mention and a cyber cookie! (did you people not love my Grey's reference? :3) Kay, thanks for reading, review my tasty little lemon drops!**


	6. Convenience Store Mischief

**Hello there, readers. New chapter, hot off the press. Enjoyz!**

* * *

Chloe POV

After the ordeal in the morning and pulling an all-nighter, I hit the sack. I woke up in the afternoon, probably around four or five, judging by the angle of the sun in the window. When I opened my eyes, I found the room in total confusion. I saw our suitcases lying open on the floor, and the closet doors wide open. I grinned when I saw the powdery white coating on everything inside it. I saw Aunt Lauren leaning out the window, shaking a garment out. I looked over and saw Tori sitting upright in her bed, processing the scene in front of her.

"Yes, we're heading out," I heard a masculine voice say, and immediately threw the covers up over me, acting on instinct. I looked up and saw Mr. Bae, and I emitted a tiny "meep". 'Cuz nothing is more awkward than getting a face-full of your boyfriend's dad first thing in the morning. I sat up and stretched.

"So we're packing then? Everything gone? When are we checking out?" I asked him.

"In about an hour or so. Oh, and, I hate to admit it, but that was a good prank this morning. The flour was a nice touch." I grinned, and then mimed brushing off some imaginary specks from my shoulder.

"Yeah, you kind of missed a spot." He looked at it, and then brushed it off. I got up off the bed and went in to the closet. I pulled the big black trash bag I had put my clothes in to protect them from the flour shower (It rhymed! I'm a poet and I didn't know it!), out of the back and opened it up. I pulled out all my neatly folded clothes (all three outfits that I had) and stuck them in my suitcase. I took out one outfit and went in to the bathroom with it. I fixed my hair and teeth, and then came back out. I put my bathroom necessities in the bag with my pajamas, and then zipped it up.

"Done!" I proclaimed, smiling happily. Tori gave me a dirty look from the window she was now sharing with Lauren. I smiled evilly and wiggled my fingertips at her, skipping over to the guys' room. I stood out in the hallway, and very quietly, tapped three times on the wall next to the door. Derek came out a second later, and I grinned. We worked out our own little form of Morse code a few days ago before the war (what can I say, I was bored!) and it turns out it was quite effective for those with super-hearing.

"Good morning, fellow pranker," I told him, taking his hand and swinging it between us. We walked down towards the elevators, going to the lobby for a quieter place to talk. When we reached the couch, he moved me so I was half on his lap. I snuggled against his chest, glad for my warm, comfortably shaped wolf guy. Even if he had pink streaks in his hair and it made him look slightly feminine. I sighed happily.

"So where are we going?" I asked him, and he shrugged, entwining his hand with mine.

"Dad didn't say." I smiled.

"That leaves a whole world of possibilities. We could be going to Washington, D.C., see all the presidential stuff, piss off some security guards at the Washington Monument, get chased all around the capital building, incite FBI action, and end in us pulling of the greatest heist ever in an effort to perform the greatest _prank_ ever, and-" He cut me off.

"So you're sure that isn't a screenplay you're writing for an action movie?" he asked, and I heard the smile in his voice.

"You caught me. Well, it's be fun anyways. Or we could be going to Disney World, or go all West Coast and hit up Disney _Land_, or-" He gave me a cute smile.

"I can totally imagine you going on the Small World ride."

"The only way I would go on that ride was if either a) the world was ending and I had to do it to save us all… you know what, no. Even if it were the apocalypse and I was humanities' only hope of surviving, I'd tell them to go screw themselves and I'd die in an epic explosion along with everyone else. Yeah. Oh and b) if you went on it with me, wearing a pink princess Mickey Mouse hat and holding a giant lollypop. That way, everyone who looked at us would focus on you, and completely ignore me. Because I wouldn't be caught dead on that ride. What were we talking about again?"

"Where we were moving to…"

"Oh yeah." I smiled. "So yeah, I wonder if your dad's going to move us far, what with the whole Simon and his date debacle." He sat back, thinking for a moment.

"We probably will, seeing as he's kind of paranoid. I don't think we'll be moving out of state though." I pouted.

"And here I was, all ready to go on a whirlwind road trip across the country, looking for non-slummy motels to stay in in order to avoid the Edison Group. Dis-a-point-ment!" I stretched the word in to four long syllables. I groaned and buried my head in the crook of his neck.

"This seems a little premature after what we just accomplished this morning, but what should we do for our next prank? We now kind of have a reputation to uphold." I nodded slowly, and then sighed.

"Nothing. But I'll probably come up with something tonight in the car. Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure the others must be about ready to get going by now. We should go up and get our stuff." He stood first, and helped pull me to my feet. He didn't let go of my hand.

Back at the room, my prediction proved true. Lauren was presumably in the bathroom, Tori was just closing her bag when I walked in to the room. She straightened, and appraised me coldly.

"So I suppose we're enemies now," she said, and I nodded.

"For now, it seems."

She sneered. I had forgotten what having Tori as an enemy was like. I was now kind of scared.

"I'll get you back," she told me, and feigning confidence, I laughed. I'm pretty sure I fooled her.

"How? Nothing can top our team!" She glared at me.

"You're going down, and it's going to be by my hand." I could have sworn that she hissed. Just then, Lauren walked in. We both straightened; we had been unconsciously leaning towards each other, eyeing the other.

"Okay, so how about we start taking these down to the car?" She gestured to the suitcases. "Kit's just checking out downstairs." Tori and I nodded, each picking up the handle of our cases. Mine was red with purple decals, and hers was completely hot pink. It almost hurt to look at it. We had gotten them at a bargain store, so I can't exactly say we had a ton of choice.

On the way down the hallway, I noticed a trail of ash that led to a cigarette butt. I wrinkled my nose.

"Damn, that's nasty," I muttered under my breath, and was shot a look by my aunt.

"What? Damn isn't a curse!" I said, and she just kept her glare up. I sighed heavily.

"Alright, sorry," I said. Downstairs, I saw Mr. Bae leaning against the lobby desk, intent on his conversation. I lugged my suitcase outside while Aunt Lauren went up to Mr. Bae and started talking to him. Probably telling him about me and my potty mouth. Pfft, adults these days.

At the car, I was met by Tori and Simon. The latter immediately started forward, as though to offer to put my suitcase in, but then recognized that it was me, and drew back. Apparently, insult trumps chivalry. Good to know, dude.

I heaved my bag in the back of the van and went back inside the motel lobby, followed by Tori. My devious little mind immediately came up with something, and of course, I had to do it. The adults were done dealing with the front desk guy, and they were just sorting out some last minute stuff amongst themselves. I sauntered up to the guy as best I could and put on a, God help me, simpering face that I hope I'll never have to wear. Ever.

"Hey, there," I murmured, and watched his obvious grin.

"So your reward for helping us last night?" I watched his eager nod, and then beckoned him forward a little. I could smell his breath, and he definitely needed a Tic-Tac or something, 'cuz his breath stank! **(AN: Shrek reference!) **

"You see that girl over there?" I discreetly pointed to Tori, popping a gum bubble and examining her nails. I watched the expression on the guys face change straight to appraising, then approval.

"She is so in to you. Like, you wouldn't even know. She won't shut up about you! You should talk to her; see if you can get her number. And she's told me that a little smooch from your direction wouldn't be too unwanted, if you get my meaning…" He winked at me and slicked his hair back, checking his appearance in a conveniently placed mirror. I then walked over to Tori and told her that the desk guy wanted to apologize for something. She cocked an eyebrow, looking confused, but I just told her to go over. Giving me a weird look, she went anyways.

At that convenient moment, hubby came down. I beckoned him over and he stood against the wall with me. I tugged his shoulder down close to me.

"I just told front-desk-guy that Tori is in to him," I muttered quickly, and watched the ghost of a smile play behind Derek's impassive mask. I turned back to the scene in front of me. I watched as Tori leaned in, then bristled, and then gasped. I chuckled as she slapped the guy, flipped him off, and then walked away, steaming. She came up to me, considered smacking me too (I saw it in her eyes, she was serious), and then decide against it when Derek loomed over her. She snarled something unintelligible under her breath and walked out the doors of the lobby. Lauren and Kit looked confused, but they always looked confused, so it was no big deal.

I grabbed Derek's hand and dragged him up to the desk with me. I smiled sweetly at the guy as I delivered my final lines to him.

"That was your first tip. Don't believe everything anyone tells you. Here's your second: get a life, mama's boy." With a satisfying "I've just been served" look on the guys face, I turned tail and walked proudly out the door, Derek tagging alongside me.

At the car, Tori gave me hate eyes and Simon looked like he wanted to know what had happened but didn't want to ask. I clued him in as I got myself settled with Derek in the backseat. Since he was a big guy, he claimed the middle seat and one of the side seats. I was in the other end seat, but I leaned against my big, wolfy pillow.

"So then she bitch-slapped him, flipped him off, and walked away." I finished, and Simon chuckled, eliciting a glare from Tori.

"When are we gonna get going?" I whined aloud, and Derek nudged my side.

"Be patient. Even though they are taking forever and an hour to come out here. Probably deciding where we're gonna go to." I nodded, thinking along the same lines. Ten minutes later, they finally came out of the motel, and we hit the freeway. We drove for an hour, then two, and I figured we must be heading out of state. We were heading southeast, and I consulted the atlas sitting next to me. He told me that there was Pennsylvania, and then New Jersey. I grinned in the darkness- it was about 7:30 or so.

"Hitting the Jersey Shore," I said, and he smiled vaguely. Eh, probably didn't get the reference.

After a while, we stopped at a drive-thru fast food restaurant. We all ordered our food and ate on the road. A few more hours after that, and it was around 11. Over half the passengers now had to use the little supernaturals' room. Kit turned in to an all night convenience store, and we all scrambled out. When I had finished, I came out to find Derek at the slushie counter. I pulled out my wallet and checked how much I had, and then decided to get one too. I filled up a cup with the cherry one, and stuck a straw in it. I walked to the counter and paid. We headed back in to the car.

"What'd you get?" I asked him, sucking down some of mine.

"Coke. You?"

"Cherry. Can I try a bit?" He nodded and passed over his drink, and I did likewise. I took a sip, nodded appreciatively, and then handed it back. We were the only ones in the car; the others were still doing whatever. Derek beside me suddenly tensed, and I sat up, wondering if he heard something.

"I have an idea," he whispered, though he didn't need to. His grin was a flash of white in the dim lighting.

"Do elaborate," I told him, smiling myself. He related his plan in hushed tones, and I cracked up, thinking of the results. Nodding, I told him we should do it. We got out of the car and headed back in to the store. Derek got out his phone and I told him to record this, because it was so going on the internet. We were going to go so viral; we would be such legends, Bill.

I walked in to the bathroom and found Lauren at the sink, washing up. I approached her, smiling.

"Aunt Lauren, can I see your purse? I think I left my iPod car charger in there." She nodded easily, not seeing my plan.

"Sure. Why don't you head back to the store with it, I'll be out in a second, I'm about done here anyways." I nodded, and then headed out. I motioned to Derek to get the tests, and he did. I handed him the purse and he planted them in there. I buried them at the bottom, and the hitched the big black affair over my shoulder. When Lauren came out, I handed it back to her, saying that I must have packed it away in my suitcase. She nodded unconcernedly.

At that moment, Kit and Simon came out of the guys' room, so we all started walking out. Derek was discreetly filming us as he walked behind us, under the pretense of texting. As Lauren walked out the door first, an alarm went off, and the clerk, who had previously been sitting and filing her nails, jumped up and ran towards Lauren. My aunt looked shocked, looking around as if someone else had done it.

"Ma'am, have you stolen anything from here?" she demanded, and Lauren shook her head, looking perplexed.

"May I see your purse?" she asked, and Lauren relinquished it easily. The woman rummaged around in it for a moment before coming up with three different brands of pregnancy tests. I began to hold in my laughter as I watched the scene culminate.

Lauren turned completely beet red.

Kit looked shocked and worried. Oh my God, please don't tell me! No, not even going there! Ah, my brain!

Simon looked incredulous and amused.

Tori looked like she was holding in laughter too, though she looked kind of concerned.

Derek looked unaffected, but on the inside, I knew he was cracking up, filming all the reactions silently.

Another redheaded woman in the store looked at us like a bunch of weirdoes, stealing things from a cheapo convenience store in the middle of the night.

I suppose I looked innocent- at least, that was what I was trying for.

Lauren sputtered and coughed, red-faced, trying to figure out what had happened. The woman just kept looking at her, tapping her foot against the linoleum, waiting to hear her story.

After 10 minutes Lauren trying to tell us what had happened, everyone actually believed the lie. Like the most unlikely thing to happen, seriously. They all thought Lauren was trying to sneak the tests, even though she maintained that I had planted them. I shook my head, looking shocked, playing the "Innocent Little Chloe" act and no one giving it a second glance. Yes, mission accomplished! However, I knew Lauren would make my life hell after this, so…

Surprisingly, the clerk did not call the po-po or anything, but made Lauren pay for the tests and a little extra for not calling the cops. She gladly paid, glaring at me the whole time.

Back in the car, I returned gladly to my slushie and watched the video, with headphones, on Derek's phone. It was as hilarious as it had been in person. I sent it to my Youtube channel and uploaded it. I told Derek we'd just wait for it to go viral. I yawned and leaned back, snuggling my head right where it fit perfectly- between his head and his shoulders. He wrapped an arm around me, and I fell asleep like that.

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**Hey. Yeah, another late update. Sue me. **

**A few things:**

**1. Yes, I'm aware that this was short and not as good. It's late and there's a whiney dog at my feet. Can you blame me? Next one'll be better w/ better pranks, pinkie promise :)**

**2. I received some good ideas for a team name for Chloe and Derek, but indecisive me couldn't pick one. So I've put up a poll with the ideas, and you guys, my readers, get to pick your favorite one. The user that came up with it will not show up in the poll, obviously, but just know that you'll get credit if you win. 2****nd**** and 3****rd**** will get kudos too :) GO VOTE IN MY POLL PEOPLES!**

**4. It's raining! It like never rains where I be! Haha I just wanna go out and dance :) (Yes, I'm aware it's four. I'm a rebel.)**

**Review! Review! Review! Review or Chlerek love will never grace this story with its lovely, marvelous goodness ever again! Review or… *raises lamp with one hand and hits it on the other threateningly*… bad things will happen. Go on! Do it! You know you want to! (Now I sound like a review whore, begging for reviews as if they're crack. Now I'm ashamed. :'( Forgive me.) Over and out, dumplings. **


	7. Crickets, Spiders and Centipedes, Oh My!

**An update so soon? It must be witchcraft! Or the weekend… take your pick ;)**

**BTW, happy 2 month anniversary of this story! Hip-hip, hooray!**

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Chloe POV

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark, but the sky was lightening. I sensed movement around me, and I registered that we were still in the car. Groggily, I peered at the time on my phone screen. 5:34 am. Joy.

I tried to sit up a little better, but I was being pinned by a huge, black-swathed something. I followed it up to the shoulder, and then the neck, and then the sleeping face of Derek, and I moaned in my head. Okay, I was never getting up, fine. I settled back down, not wanting to wake him up. Because that would be rude. I looked to my right and saw a freeway sign pass by. I drew from it that we were somewhere in New Jersey. Woo, I was right! We were so going to go clubbing! Uh huh, Aunt Lauren would totally go for that.

Mr. Bae and Lauren hadn't noticed me yet. I noticed they had switched places, and she was driving now.

For the next hour or so, I relaxed with my iPod. Or at least I tried to. I noticed for the first time since… meeting him… that Derek snored. Like, really loud. I was fairly certain that I would be deaf by the time he woke up, not to mention crushed flat by his gargantuan arm. But I wasn't complaining. Love has its ugly side, too, right?

We pulled off the freeway after a while, the sound of paper crinkling sounding in the front. Derek woke with a start, looked around, and then realized where he was. He noticed his arm on me, and pulled it away, brow furrowing.

"Wasn't that annoying?" he asked me.

"A little. Not much," I replied. He frowned.

"Why didn't you wake me up if it was bugging you?" he asked me in an undertone, and I just shrugged one shoulder. He rolled his eyes.

"No need to be a martyr," he muttered, and scooted away, giving me a bit of room. In the middle row, I noticed only Tori's shock of black hair on the seat. I leaned forward a bit, and saw a honey blonde splash of color on the floor of the car. Whoa, I didn't actually think even Tori could be selfish enough to make Simon sleep on the floor. It kind of amazed me.

By that time, Lauren had noticed Derek's and my short conversation, and she looked at me in the rear view mirror. I noticed no trace of anger in her gaze, but I knew that she was good at hiding emotions. I was likely going to get it later.

"You guys hungry or anything?" she asked, and while I shook my head, Derek predictably nodded. She bobbed her head and made a quick turn down a main street. She came up to a McDonalds and got something for all of us, though only a few of us wanted food.

Within 20 minutes, both Tori and Simon had woken up and returned to their normal seats, Simon looking tired and pissed, rubbing his neck occasionally, wincing.

We finally arrived at a suitable hotel. Yes, a hotel. Better than a motel, but more expensive too. I wondered where exactly we were getting our funds from. I'd have to ask someone, see what I could do, because it wasn't fair for just one person to do that.

Inside, the interior, while nice, looked cheap enough. We checked in and hauled our few belongings up to the rooms. Same arrangement as before, girls and guy separated. By then, we were all awake, and we packed away our stuff. As I did, I checked out the living quarters for the next… however long we would be there. As I did, I noted that the set-up of the room looked perfect, space-wise, to implement many awesome pranks.

After a half hour or so, I went down to check out the amenities. There was a pool in the courtyard, which could be the scene for a prank. Look at me, thinking like a truly obsessed prankster now. Derek would be proud.

At that moment, as if drawn by his name, Derek bounded up to me, standing beside the water.

"You have no idea what I have just remembered." I waited for him to start making sense.

"Okay. So I was just inside the hotel room. Simon was off doing something or another, and my dad was standing by the window. Out of nowhere, this cockroach crawls across it. He jumps about a foot in the air before gingerly flicking it away with a newspaper. This reminded me that he has a deadly fear of bugs." I looked at him in awe, a huge grin spreading across my face as I realized what he was thinking.

"And this means…" I started, and he beamed broadly.

"We have ourselves a winner," he proclaimed, and I laughed.

"Whoo hoo!" I yelled, triumphant already, before stopping.

"How in the hell are we supposed to get that many bugs?" I asked, and he didn't even stop for a second, having planned it while sprinting down here, apparently.

"Pets stores have them, but they're slightly expensive. We'd only be able to afford maybe a hundred, and that's nowhere near enough."

"Are you saying we have to find a park and dig around in it and capture bugs?" He nodded grimly. I sighed, but then smiled.

"It's cool. Gotta work harder for some pranks." He smiled at me.

"I'm really glad you're not like Tori." He told me.

Derek POV

"Whoo! We're gonna dig up bugs! I feel like it's 1st grade all over again!" Chloe shouted to the sky beside me, her hands in the air. I chuckled and shook my head, and nudged her shoulder. She looked up to grin at me.

"This is gonna be fun, partner in crime. So, math genius, how long will it take to dig up roughly one thousand bugs?" I pondered the question for a second.

"I'd assume around 4 hours. Of course, that depends on extraction speed, which you would have to add to the time to store them, divided by the speed of the person, which-" She moaned loudly, cutting me off.

"Simplistic, please!" she whined. I smiled.

"I was just kidding."

"Derek Souza, kidding? Has the apocalypse just occurred? Has hell frozen over? Has Tori just said please? What has the world come to?" she cried, and I chuckled.

"Come on. Them bugs ain't diggin' themselves!" She followed my footsteps, gardening supplies clinking inside the burlap sacks. It's amazing what a few compliments can get you with the janitorial staff, who just happen to have keys to every place on the property.

"This looks like a good spot." I stopped at the edge of the wooded area at the edge of the park, looking around. She came up beside me and nodded, and knelt at the ground. She immediately started rooting around for any type of bug. I followed her lead.

An hour later, we were both covered in dirt and had achieved finding a little over 100 bugs each. A few centipedes, some ants, and a spider or two, determined to be non-venomous, were shoved unceremoniously in to the sacks. The weave was small enough to keep them inside. I was sure to roll it up tightly, making sure none escaped.

"Okay, this is good. We're a quarter way there," Chloe said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand and leaving yet another streak of dirt. Just then, she jumped and looked to her left, and then breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Liz," she said, seemingly to no one. I knew better, though.

"Um, well it's kind of weird, but we're digging for bugs to scare Mr. Bae with," she said, making a face.

"No way, are you serious? That'd save us so much time! Where is it?" She nodded, and then stood up, taking the burlap bag with her.

"Liz says there's a huge colony of ants over this way, and a nest of centipedes with about 200 of the buggers inside," she relayed to me, and I stood gladly, my aching knees cheering in response.

"Cool. Let's go." We walked to a spot about 50 yards from our previous spot, and came upon a large anthill about the size of a small toddler. I grinned, and shook out a fresh bag. I walked carefully up to the hill, and stretched the bag over it. I quickly flipped it over, taking the hill with me. Underground, about a quarter of the previous structure was left, and presumably even less ants. I grinned, as did Chloe.

"Well, that made things a lot easier. Where did you say the centipedes were again, Liz?" Chloe asked the ghost. She moved to another spot in the clearing, and tapped her foot against the ground, presumably where the nest was

"And we get to them how?" she asked, and then made a motion for me to hand her the shovel. I did, and watched her work.

She carefully drew a circle where Liz guided her, the outline of where she'd dig. She then instructed me to hold a sack open right where she needed it. Then, she abruptly shoved her shovel in to the ground and flipped a huge, moving chunk of earth in to the sack. I watched the centipedes swarm out of their hole, and, making me proud, Chloe didn't even flinch. She just continued scooping them up, and tossing them in the bag. Soon enough, they were mostly gone.

"Okay, so in 20 minutes we went up around 500 bugs. And do you know of any other secret bug hideouts?" she asked Liz, and then got a response that made her blanch.

"Chloe? What's wrong?" I asked her, and she just shook her head quickly, a determined expression quickly covering her face.

"There's a…" she faltered, and then started again.

"A huge spidery bush a little ways away from here. About 50 spiders, daddy long legs."

"And you went white as a ghost because…?" She gave me a long glance, before finally muttering ashamedly, "I'm scared of spiders." I chuckled, and she glared at me.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just that you were so brave with the centipedes, I just didn't think you were really scared of bugs," I told her, but it didn't help.

"No, it's fine. I'm going to go over there and get some spiders in the bag."

"You don't have to do that…" I hedged, and was immediately regaled with a smile.

"Awesome!" she chirped, and tossed me the shovel. Alright then…

I marched over to where Chloe instructed me to go. I found the bush, decorated with spider webs galore. I decided to uproot it and shake it over another sack, and catch all the spiders that way.

I set to work doing this, occasionally brushing a spider off the side of the sack or trying to crawl up my arm. Eventually I got them all in the bag. I sealed it tightly and brought it back to the other clearing. Chloe shuddered slightly when I set the bag down next to her, and I shook my head, smiling.

"You can't really be that scared of spiders, can you?" She just gave me a fierce look that said yes, yes she could.

In another two hours, we had gotten enough pests to really scare the crap out of Kit. We carefully picked up the bags and started our trek back home. Sure, we got a few weird looks, but that's the price we pay for one of the best pranks ever. Hell yeah.

We stopped at Pet Smart on the way home, and I walked in while Chloe held the few sacks outside, the gardening tools leaning against the wall. I asked where I could get live bugs from the lady, and she led me to the amphibian area. She showed me some crickets and such, and I grinned on the inside, remembering a particular incident when I was younger, directly involving a rather large cricket, a shower, and neighbors calling the police. Needless to say, there's a reason we don't go to a small city in Massachusetts anymore…

I bought the biggest amount of crickets I could afford, and I peered at them inside their little plastic cage, hopping around. I thanked the attendant and paid, and went back out to Chloe, who was attracting some unnecessary attention. I took some bags from her and the gardening tools, murmuring in her ear to hurry.

We made it back to the hotel at a little past three. We would have to hurry to get this prank up and ready in time. I hurried to the guys' room, and checked with what everyone was doing.

My father was talking with Simon about plans for going to the beach the next day or something. I checked what the plans were for that night, and apparently we were going out to an Applebee's around town. I nodded, knowing that Chloe wouldn't mind sacrificing that to implement our evil scheme. Lauren came out of the next room just as I walked out; she smiled vaguely at me and knocked on the other door. I went downstairs to find Chloe chatting with the door guy.

"So we're trying to prank the rest of them so we can keep our awesome reputation. Oh, her Derek." She grinned and sidled up to me. I asked her where the equipment was.

"Oh, there were some handy little rack things in the garden shed, I just used those to hang up the bags." I followed her out the back door and found the place she was talking about.

"Oka, good. We'll leave them there for the moment. The others are going out to eat tonight, so just make sure you stay. I don't care what you say, just make it convincing. We'll then put the bugs in place. When they come back, sparks will fly." We grinned at each other in the afternoon light.

The rest of the afternoon passed smoothly, with no one guessing what we were up to. When it finally came time for them to leave, I did my best to feign interest in something in the motel room, saying I'd be fine there for the night. It worked well enough. Once I was sure they were in the elevator, I went next door. Chloe was there, sitting on her bed, as planned.

We worked quickly, moving the bags up in one trip. I checked inside to make sure all the bugs were there, and sure enough, hundreds of beady little eyes and antennae peered back at me. I rolled the tops of the sacks so nothing could easily escape, and threaded string through each one. I tied the string to the bed sheets, so that when they were pulled back, the bags would open and hoards of angry little beasts would come marching out. This was going to rock.

Chloe arranged the sheets over the bumps to make it look normal, and then started setting up cameras around the room. Cameras _and_ video recorders, of course. (**AN: Magical video cameras that a faerie brought in the night… because I don't think they had them before… :0**) Because no picture in the world would be enough to recount this event with. I grinned as she worked, thinking of the major blackmail this would turn out to be.

When I heard the elevator ding at the end of the hall, and the sound of 4 sets of footsteps, I turned on and set to record the cameras. I moved out of the shot and waited for them to come in. I settled down on my bed with a book to look as though I had been there the whole time.

I didn't look up when Simon and my father walked in, instead choosing to incline my head a bit in their direction, acknowledging them.

This part of the evening passed a lot slower, with me waiting anxiously for my father to finally start getting ready for bed. He showered, watched the news, chatted with Lauren, everything but go to bed. I was going to have to shorten the videos by a lot. But when he finally did put on his PJ's, I knew the fun was about to begin.

He made his way to his bed as if in slow motion, every step taking 5 seconds. Or maybe it was just me.

When he pulled back his covers, the burlap sacks were revealed and he had a moment to wonder confusedly about them. Then, the strings tautened, and they sprang open. Within seconds, the entire bed was coated in a mixture of creepy-crawlies of all shapes and sizes. The scream emitted from my father was unbelievable. It was, without a doubt, the best scream ever. Or the worst, depending on your point of view. Honestly, he sounded like a little 4 year old toddler screaming because she saw a "monster in her closet". Yeah, exactly.

But what happened next was even funnier. The sea of bugs ran off the sides of the bed and began to pool around his slippered feet. His shriek grew louder and became the soundtrack for his new dance. He lifted his feet in some sort of demented Irish jig, trying frantically not to let the bugs touch him. But this had to get more interesting.

I went up to the bed, and since I'm such a nice person, I scooped a handful of bugs away from my dad's feet. He gave a quick sigh of relief, but it was soon squelched. I poured the begs directly over him, covering his face and hands. His reaction was hilarious. He proceeded to run around, screaming, his hands flying to his head to try and brush off the bugs, with little success. He then tried to stop, drop, and roll, apparently, but soon learned that he shouldn't, due to the bug paste on the ground that occurred because of it.

When Kit had first screamed, Chloe had come running in, cackling quietly. Lauren and Tori had followed her. Tori was reacting in much the same way as Kit, which made it a double prank and therefore all the more funnier. Simon ran up and tried to help, but he only made it worse by accidentally flinging a bug right in Tori's face when he flicked one off her shoulder. She screamed loudly, and turned and ran right in to Lauren, who screamed in turn.

As the pandemonium ensued in front of us, I turned to my partner in crime, who was watching the fiasco like it was Saturday Night Live.

"Well done, partner," I told her, giving her a hi-five. She replied, beaming.

"Well done indeed."

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**And this chapter idea was brought to you by, Suzi1811. You rock, girl! Seriously, this story wouldn't kick half as much ass as it does, without you :) Hehe, I love you my tasty little lemon drops. OMFG I have a cheer competition in Disneyland tomorrow! Huge, huge, huge thing! I'm so excited and nervous XP Wish meh luck! Now, if you please, hit the review button. **

**AND AFTER YOU REVIEW, BE SURE TO GO IN MY PROFILE AND VOTE IN THE POLL, WHICH IS MUY IMPORTANTE PARA ESTE STORY! (spanglish ftw) THANK YOU! The poll will close shortly, so you better hurry up and get your dang votes in!**

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	8. Dreams Only Last for a Night

**Hey! So I thought about updating… debated it… and then I did it! Incredible, huh?**

**Enjoiz da chaptah & NEW POV!**

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Tori POV

I was so sick of this pranking! Chloe and Derek and their little alliance… it was driving me crazy! First, Derek and the Justin Bieber clothes, then the both of them with the domino series prank, and then the damn bugs! It was the last straw. I was officially going to start a prank group with Simon, because there was no other sensible say to resist and retaliate.

I pushed myself off my bed, checking for the thousandth time that evening for any bugs. No one before today had known about my phobia of bugs, but now it was out. Any kind of crawlie scared me shitless, most definitely.

I checked the time as I walked over to the guys' room. Just past eleven. I was assuming Kit was still in his shower, as he had been for the past hour. Now he was an acute case of a fear of bugs. Seriously, he had been clawing at his skin like a meth addict long after the insects were gone. Derek was absent from the room, as Chloe had been from ours. They were probably out celebrating their victory.

Simon was sitting on his bed, dejectedly flipping through a magazine. He looked up when he heard my approaching footsteps, and then let his head fall back to his page. He sighed.

"What do you want, Tori?" he muttered, and I scowled.

"No need to act like I'm the one who made a bug breeding store in the middle of your room. I'm here to propose a compromise." He looked up, now slightly intrigued.

"A compromise? Coming from you, it sounds like it could only be beneficial to one party." My frown deepened.

"Don't be so skeptical. I think we should join as a pranking group to offset Chloe and Derek's group." He sat up fully now, magazine forgotten.

"Are you serious? Or, like, on drugs or something?" I sighed deeply.

"I am entirely serious. I want to join with you in a group, meaning having your back and not stabbing it. Or would you prefer to let your brother and his girlfriend dominate the playing field and level everybody else on it?" Put that way, he seemed to actually consider the offer. He let out a gust of air; a long, whiney one.

"Is this seriously the only option less apart from laying down and taking the heat?" I nodded, muttering an affirmative. He looked to the ceiling, as if praying for protection.

"Okay then. I, Simon, do swear upon-," he paused, looking for something to swear upon. "Okay. I swear upon this magazine to join in a pranking group with you, Tori, until I have due reason to break it. Due reason as determined by _me_, that is." I gave him a withering look.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

I pulled up a chair from the table and chair set in the middle of the room, and pulled it up, resting my feet on the edge of his bed.

"So what's our first prank gonna be, smart guy?" I snapped, and he immediately launched in to a speech.

"Well, I've been turning over an idea for a prank for a while, but I couldn't do it alone." I leaned forward, motioning for him to go on.

"Well, Chloe and Derek are doubtless _exhausted_ by their little pranks, right? Well, when tired enough, Derek has been known to sleep through a fire alarm, even with his wolf hearing." I raised an eyebrow at this.

"Alright, with a little help from a Nyquil Extra Strength. That's some serious shit. Anyways. So I was thinking, why not psyche them out while they're in dreamland? If they're both deeply enough asleep, there's really nothing that can't be accomplished!" I nodded slowly to this.

"So wait, you're saying…"

"Unnerving changes in the hotel room, to their faces, anything! Not so subtle, yet thoroughly unsettling. We have to make it look like we didn't do anything, and make them think it's a product of their own imagination." I gave a smirk.

"So there really is some form of a brain behind that giant, empty-looking egg on your shoulders." He frowned.

"Was that a complement or an insult?" I shrugged.

"Pick your poison."

We decided to pull the prank the following night. That gave us a lot of time to plan. But we were careful to let no one know of the new alliance, taking our conversation to the stairwell when Kit finished his shower. No one would bug us there, and any asshole we encountered wouldn't really be a match for a witch and a sorcerer. We brainstormed for most of the night, and we returned to our respective rooms when we were finished, each grinning darkly at the thought of the inevitable mayhem we were to cause. Finally, the pranksters get what the pranksters deserve.

I awoke around 11 the next morning, and immediately checked for any possible pranks, even though the effort was mostly futile. But nope, apparently they has taken the evening off, instead probably canoodling in some forest for the dark hours. They had gotten in late, much to Lauren's _tsk tsking_.

Simon was ready to go out, and five minutes later, I was too. We headed out to the pharmacy and got a box or two of the potent knock-out pills. Simon wasn't sure how fast they'd burn off of Derek, what with his metabolism, but he supposed it'd take quite a lot to injure him.

We also picked up a couple of cheap furniture sliders, because there was no way in hell I'd be doing heavy lifting. I popped in to a store and purchased a colored hair spray, approximated to be darker than Chloe's hair.

We brought the stuff back, and I snuck it in to my room, as Lauren was checking out the beach with Chloe, and Derek and Kit were occupying the other room.

Now, all we had to do was wait. We went down to the lobby, not wanting to sit around in the room for long. But that failed soon enough, so we just went back out. Simon drew vaguely on a sketchpad, mapping out some of the changes we would do.

For Chloe, we were actually going to flip the entire room around. It'd take quite a bit of work, and almost certainly Lauren's knowing consent, but the reaction would be priceless. I had been all for moving her mattress up to the roof, "The Hangover" style, but Simon had said the hotel manager probably wouldn't be too happy about that. Same for adults. Ditto Derek.

Derek's room was going to be completely changed in design. How? Why, a little convincing, and a promise of reaction pictures had convinced the new front desk guy to loan us the furniture of another room for a while. The only thing that would need to be cleaned was the bedspread!

In addition, there would be a few changes in appearance. Chloe's now blonde hair was to be colored ("barely there" colored hair spray) just a few shades darker than normal, and Derek's pants: a little shorter than normal.

Down the street, I noticed a tall, creepy guy leaning against the side of the building, staring towards me. I looked to my right, and realized that Simon was no longer there. Oh, come on! Seriously, where could he have gone? I huffed a sigh inside my head, and continued walking straight, determined not to let this guy unnerve me. As I approached him, I noticed a strange little smirk on his face.

When I finally reached him, he called out to me, though I was mentally praying for him not to. I kept walking, keeping my face forward, set on not acknowledging him. To my dismay, he walked forward, keeping pace with me. He took one long stride in front of me and blocked my way.

Looking around, I noticed that we were in a fairly unpopulated part of town, and there weren't any pedestrians (don't think "witnesses") around. I then looked up and met his look head on, sneering up at him.

"Yes?" I demanded, hand going to my hip. Intimidating people, though not so useful in this particular situation, was a talent of mine, and damn if I wasn't going to use it! My lip curled, and my eyes narrowed. His expression remained unchanged.

"Hey, girlie," he said with the same smirk on his face, like he thought he was so bad. He hadn't messed with Tori Enright before, that much was obvious.

"Yeah, dickhead?" I snapped, wanting to get this over with and use a binding spell already. His smirk just grew wider.

"You ever hang around with a guy like me before? It's more fun than you'd think." He delivered his line perfectly, complete with the disgusting wink tacked on at the end. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'd assume that hanging out with a skuzzy pimp all day is about as much fun as cleaning the gum out from underneath the tables at a cheap ass McDonalds in the ghetto." Despite my show of sarcastic defiance, he looked sure that he was going to get what he wanted. Bastard.

"No, really, you should try it. Here, I'll take you out for a spin." His hand was on my arm in a death grip before his sentence was over. I closed my eyes for a second, breathing through my nose.

"Did your ass-wiping, crack-dealing hand just touch my perfectly tanned arm without my express written permission, sir?" I asked slowly, with controlled calm. When I opened my eyes, he was grinning openly.

"Yes _ma'am_, I think I just d-" He never finished his sentence. He flew back and hit the wall with a tremendous bang, and slumped in a heap to the ground. I used the side of my jeans to wipe any nasty street germs that douche bag was undoubtedly carrying. A rustle brought my attention back to the wall he hit.

Douche bag was getting to his feet, looking pissed. I sighed as he opened his mouth again, and I flicked my fingers almost lazily at him. He stood, frozen, rocking slightly side to side but not falling. I approached as close as I dared, not wanting to come close enough to smell his stinky ass.

I smiled as sweetly as I could while I delivered my sugarcoated lines. He had nothing to do but stand there and listen to me, glaring through icy cold, hate-filled eyes.

"Number one. You're never going to get any girls if you keep up that demeanor. Really, try using soap every week or so. No one likes a guy who looks, smells, and acts like a homeless person who's been living in the gutter for most of their life." I gave a short giggle, and then returned to my speech.

"Two. You obviously have some sort of history with drugs, and I would definitely advise getting help for that. Really, those things will turn your brain in to a pile of dog shit. Oops, sorry, it's too late. It already is a pile of dog shit!" Another giggle, sugary smile with malice hidden beneath it. My entire being changed with the third part.

"Three. If you ever touch, think about touching, or think about _thinking_ about touching anyone, myself included, in any way, shape, or form, I'd suggest being a bit gentler. Also, be straightforward with your motives. A girl less dense than me might confuse you for a nice, friendly guy. And let's face it, even your mother, whose basement you're currently living in, knows you're anything _but_ a nice guy." And with that, I walked behind him, and using the toe of my boot, I kicked him over on to his face. Call me a bitch, but that's self defense… I think. Whatever.

I turned back the way I had come, now too pissed to think about the upcoming prank in a few hours. Halfway down the second block, a familiar blonde head showed up. I glowered at Simon as he fell in to step beside me.

"Where were you?" I hissed at him. He took a step back, away from me, hands held up in a defensive posture.

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Oh, nothing, just a freaking attempted abduction and rape, thanks for asking!" Simon looked shocked and apologetic.

"Sorry, I just stepped in to the bookstore for a minute, I told you that, I thought you heard. I figured you'd be fine for a few minutes, no problems…" His voice trailed off as my eyes bored in to him.

"Well, I'm fine now, after I went all kung fu kid on his ass, but-" He cut me off.

"Please tell me you in no way permanently injured him." he pleaded. I snorted.

"Any act I did was in self defense. And no, I didn't injure him, except maybe his face… a little bit." Simon sighed, and then looked at me.

"Well, I'm glad you're alright, and I'm sorry for leaving you." he told me. I nodded.

"Alright then. Let's go get ready for that prank."

That evening, we were ordering takeout, late. We were eating in the guy's room. Our drinks were sodas from the mini-fridge. Simon volunteered to go get them, and put them in glasses with ice. I had hidden the pill boxes in the closet by the kitchenette, and told Simon where they were. He dissolved two pills each in to two glasses, and then added another two to one of them to be safe. He brought them all over, carefully keeping track of the drugged ones. The Nyquil was supposed to have at least half an hour reaction delay, perfect for our purpose.

The moment dinner was done, I noticed both Chloe and Derek's eyes were drooping. They both excused themselves for bed, which wasn't too suspicious, given the time. The second I heard Derek's snores, I motioned for Simon to start talking.

Quickly, he explained to Kit how we were pranking the two, and how we needed then to vacate the rooms for the night. Kit looked incredulous, as did Lauren, but then Simon suggested going bar-hopping and handed each a map of the city listing popular bars. Lauren continued to glare at him, but Kit appraised the list, nodding at a few of them. A couple of minutes later, Kit had convinced her to go with him, and they had pulled on their jackets and left.

"I am as surprised as you are that that idea worked," Simon muttered, pulling the spare room key out of his pocket.

"Derek first?" I inquired.

"Yeah. The sleeping pills probably wont work as strongly for long on him." He went across the hall, one box of furniture sliders clutched in his hand, while I set to preparing the current room for Sleeping Beauty. In a few minutes, I had the ugly brown dressed halfway out the door, when there was an echoing yell from the hallway.

"Simon, what the hell?" I called from behind the furniture. I just heard a continued screech.

"You ran over my damn toe with that thing!"

"It's on sliders, how is that even possible?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" There was a slight thumping from the hallway, almost as if he were jumping up and down on one foot.

"Baby," I spat through the doorway. Just then, there came a loud snort and a rustle from the direction of Derek's bed. Simon must have heard it too, because he abruptly shut up. For a full minute we held our breath, wondering if he would wake up and botch our entire plan. But he fell fast asleep once again, apparently, and we continued moving.

Eventually, we had replaced the furniture in his room with all new ones, leaving nothing behind to indicate the switch. Derek would just have to assume that he had mistaken the color scheme of the room, because there was no way we'd be able to change it.

Next, I sent Simon in to Derek's closet with a pair of scissors, instructing him to neatly cut the pants in a way that looked natural. Not hard, because the hems of all his pants were frayed already. I told him to cut about 2 to 3 inches, enough that Derek would notice.

I went in to Chloe's room. I went up to her and jostled her shoulder. She didn't wake. I yelled to the room at large. No response. I took that as safe to begin changing it up.

I took a mental snapshot of the room, and then flipped it. I made a mirror image of the room, or as close to it as I could get. I then determined where everything had to be moved. Using the furniture sliders, I managed to rearrange the bed and dresser. By that time, Simon came in, and he did the rest of the heavy moving. I set to work on her hair.

Getting the spray in without hitting her face or the bedclothes was tougher than expected. I ended up framing her face with a towel and spraying her hair that way. I stood back to admire my handiwork when I was done. I noticed her eyebrows belied her new hair, so I put a little spray on each of those too.

It was around 10 in the evening when they were drugged, and the pills were good for at least 8 hours, so we had until 6. I wanted to sleep, but Simon wanted to stay awake. I told him to wake me up before they did, because I wanted to see their reactions firsthand. He agreed, and my head hit the pillow a moment later.

When I awoke, it was to Simon's face leaning over me, and I instinctively recoiled.

"Gah! Don't do that! You know, you could give someone a heart attack with a face as ugly as that this early in the morning!" I whisper-yelled at him. He scowled at me. He tossed a camera on the bed and told me to get ready, because they were already starting to stir. We each hid in a secluded corner of each room, Simon with his brother and I with Chloe.

Soon enough, Blondie started to wake up, slowly and painfully from the meds. As she blinked her eyes sleepily, I began snapping the photos. She was still too out of it to notice the slight sound of it, or even notice the room around her yet. But she soon did, and her brow furrowed as she took it in. She cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy, taking in the room around her. She clutched the blankets to her chest suddenly, realizing that the room was flipped. Hesitantly, she got to her feet, still looking around. She tiptoed around carefully, as thought she were in a spy movie and she had been kidnapped and taken to a hidden location. I wanted to bust up so freaking bad, but I resisted the urge. She came around to the front door of the room, trying to orient herself.

At that moment, the door flew open, and Chloe shrieked like a banshee. Her shriek was accompanied by another, and I vaulted myself over the bed to catch who it was. My jaw dropped to the ground.

Lauren was standing in the doorway, screaming her head off. But that wasn't why I was so shocked. She was piss-drunk. That was obvious even from over here. Her hair was a mess, she was wobbling even in stillness, and the final cinching piece of evidence: there were two open beers in her hands, one presumably Kit's.

Chloe finally ran out of air, and realized who it was. Lauren, now giggling, smiled dreamily at her from her slumped position on the doorframe. Quick, emergency audio/video capture device recorder change! I grabbed the video camera from the side table and had it running in a second flat, wanting to catch every glorious moment of Drunk Lauren.

The confusion registered on Chloe's face as she took in her inebriated relation.

"Aunt Lauren?" she asked her, the room drama behind her temporarily forgotten. Lauren cocked her head in the other direction, still smiling.

"Hi Chloe, darling," she slurred, bottle slanting downward. She lifted it to her lips and took a long sip, and wiped her mouth with her hand. Chloe frowned. She took her aunt by the arm and pulled her in to the room. She was in the process of turning around when she noticed me perched on the arm of the sofa, recording her every move.

The grating cry that she emitted this time was a little worse. I clapped my free hand to my mouth to stifle my giggles as both females flipped out. I grinned beneath my hand, faithful video camera catching every delicious moment. I whispered some words quietly in to the speaker of the device.

"Stay awake, 'cuz dreams only last for a night."

* * *

**POLL WINNER: Azul Fire-Belly, with "SASDOBKA", standing for Super Awesome Supernatural Duo of Butt-Kicking Awesomeness!**

**Second place: .X KissedByADemon .X, with "Team Chlerek".**

**Third: Suzi1811, with "Ghost Walkers".**

**Thanks everybody for your input, which was very much appreciated :) The names shall be used in the next chapter, up whenever I feel like posting :P**

**So… an update… pretty rare, huh? Anybody get the All Time Low reference? Right at the end? Also in the title? Yeah, whatever. The whole Stay Awake thing… yeah… leave your opinion! Even if you only came to bitch at me, I wanna hear it! Review, please :)**


	9. Life in Plastic, It's Fantastic!

**By the end of this chapter, you will hate me.**

* * *

Tori POV

"Tori! This was completely unacceptable and irresponsible! I can't believe you…" I yawned lazily, picking at my nails as Lauren continued to chew me out for my posting of her inebriated alter-ego on my blog. It was possibly one of the best moves of my blogging career. My viewer rate had soared like it never had before.

Finally getting tired of her nasally voice piercing my little bubble of self-congratulation, I looked her coldly in the eye.

"It was your choice to get drunk off your ass. I had already been holding a video camera. What ensued was only too predictable. You're just embarrassed that the world now knows a blurred out drunk woman that you share a face with." Satisfied with my retort and her gaping-fish look of shock, I rose off the couch and walked in to the other room.

Simon was sitting on his bed, still grinning like a fool at our amazing prank. His hands were behind his head, and his expression was one of dreamy recollection. He turned his head when I walked in, and he even _smiled_ at me. Whoa, I didn't think the high of victory would be this bad.

Derek POV

I had an idiotic moron for a brother. And he had an idiotic moron for a half-sister. What part of changing a werewolf's room around had seemed like a brilliant idea? Freaking Nobel prize winner, that one was. Add to that a smashed Kit, and you have cooked up the recipe to the end of the world. All of this had made me very pissed off, to say the least. And what do werewolves do when they're pissed off?

Tear shit up.

My snarl echoed through the clearing as I attacked yet another defenseless tree/enemy, my claws shredding the bark like it was paper. I huffed frustrated breaths through my elongated snout, suddenly whipping back around and pouncing back on it, not giving it the chance to strike me while my back was turned. Ha. Enemy defeated. You're dead. The tree seemed to deflate rather sadly, the trunk bending and the leaves softly hitting the ground. I leaped off it.

I sat back on my haunches and mentally weighed the environmental costs of playing bulldozer one more time. Remember Derek, deforestation in the rainforests…

Before I could be tempted to rid the world of another tree-turned-gun-toting-killer, I sprang from my spot and in to the denser foliage.

The forest seemed to turn to twilight in a blink of an eye, but it posed no problem to me. I could still see as if every leaf were highlighted in infrared. I ran for what seemed like hours, never slowing for a second.

Then, I remembered that running from your problems does nothing.

I turned on a dime, missing a tree by literally a hair's width, and sprang back in to the shadows.

Mental GPS: … turn slightly left in, 5, seconds…

I reached the clearing, and threw myself down on the grass. Dammit, I was going to have to talk to Chloe about retaliation.

Chloe POV

I stared at the crimson mess in the mirror, wondering how the pranking could have gone to fun and innocent to disturbing. Derek and I would have to up our game. But really, who came up with the idea to flip the room around and make me think I had gone completely insane? Also, my newly red hair, which I thought was pretty bad when black, turned out to be even worse than before. Gee, thanks Tori.

But seriously. Waking up to a completely flipped room had freaked me out. Comparing it to the mental image I had before of the room, I had come to either of two conclusions: 1, I had been kidnapped and taken to another room in the hotel, or 2, I had completely lost it. Huffed one too many Sharpies. Sent the brain on a permanent vacation to Loonyville. In fact, I had been so out of it that I hadn't even noticed Tori snapping photos like she had just caught Oprah making out with Prince William on a French gondola being rowed by Johnny Depp, while Britney Spears and Kate Middleton watched from another boat.

…

What? Too exaggerated?

But the worst part of the prank was Lauren, who actually wasn't really even part of the prank, just an added bonus. I have never seen her drink in my life, and when she had stumbled in that morning… ugh, I shuddered just to think about it. It was almost enough to make me want to swear off alcohol once it was even an option to me. But then I remembered that I possibly had Tori to live with later, and reconsidered.

Anyways, this prank had been completely bizarre and creepy. No way was I just going to let them get away with freaking the crap out of me. But how to get the perfect revenge?

Simon POV

Ah, life was good! I had just pulled a rather excellent prank on my brother and his girlfriend, though I had to team up with a not-so-excellent chick to do it. Eh, win some, lose some. Also, I had gotten the last Dr. Pepper from the fridge! Hell yeah! But on the downside, I expected a very terrifying retaliation from the prankees.

As I sat on my bed thinking, my mind traveled to thoughts of Kit. He had literally fallen in to the room last night, taking a lamp and a few cushions with him in all his destroyed glory. He had given poor Derek quite a fright, and what had ensued might have been enough emotional scarring for all three of us to have to attend therapy for… well, for however long it takes to grow back a couple thousand brain cells.

But somehow, unbelievably, I had managed to take pictures, and a short video, of the whole thing, despite my body threatening to fall apart from several causes, such as humor, horror, and downright nausea.

I mentally reviewed the prank in my head, and wondered how long it would take Derek to notice the high-water look to his jeans. Waiting for the flood there, eh? He'd be pretty pissed off by the time he found out about everything, but that's not to say that he wasn't pissed off now. In fact, I was about ready to pack my suitcase and hightail it out of there!

I was going to have to watch where I walked for a while.

Derek POV

Staring at the line of extremely shortened jeans in my closet, I closed my eyes and sighed. Idiots. Idiots. Idiots. I lived with idiots.

I stomped in to the kitchen, and grabbed a couple of granola bars from the counter. I viewed the newspaper that someone, most likely my father, had left on it. I flipped through it listlessly as I munched the bar, finally flipping it shut in frustration, finding nothing to alleviate my desire to do… anything. I set my hand beneath my chin and examined the cracks in the ceiling.

I heard footsteps, and then scented Chloe as she walked in to the room. She stood behind my chair and rested her chin on top of my head, her arms encircling my neck. I breathed in her scent, immediately feeling calmer.

"Any new ideas?" she asked me, and I sighed deeply.

"Nope." Just as I said it, I looked down.

And then stared.

And then got an idea.

Excitedly, I pointed to the newspaper, and Chloe looked at it. I caught her frown in my periphial vision.

"The ads?" she asked me doubtfully.

"Saran Wrap is on sale," I told her, pointing. I saw her continue to frown for a moment, and then watch her expression brighten as ideas began filling her mind.

"Oooooohhhhhhh," came her long, drawn out reply, and I grinned.

"To the grocery!"

Tori POV

I walked in to the kitchen in the guys' room, looking for Simon. I found him at the counter, a handful of nuts halfway to his mouth. He nodded to me briefly before downing them. I seated myself at the kitchen table and waited for him to swallow. When he did, he asked why I was there.

I cut straight to business.

"Chloe and Derek just stepped out, presumably to plan in peace. If we prank them now, before they get us, it'll be doubly unexpected and therefore twice as fun to watch." I saw his eyes widen as he realized this.

"But what do we do? I've used up all my creative juices for the time being." I scowled, tapping a finger on my lower lip. What to do, what to do…

As I looked down, I was struck by an idea. As I thought, I realized what a marvelous idea it was. So clean, so perfect, _so invisible_.

"Simon!" I exclaimed, pointing.

"What?" he asked, coming over to look.

"Saran Wrap is on sale," I told him, grinning. He grinned too.

"Oh, _hell_ yes!

Chloe POV

When we got back from the grocery store around the corner, we realized that Tori and Simon had left.

"Probably to avoid being pranked," Derek had said. We unloaded our goods on the table without much of a problem from the adults. We were actually unsure of where they were. We were still in the guys' room, so they were probably in the girls' room, watching soaps or whatever it is that old people do.

We set immediately to work, sealing the insides of the cabinets with the staticky plastic, forming a barrier to whoever tried to get food. I set aside a bag of jerky and some applesauce (what? It's canned!) for Derek, because I remembered only too well what had happened the last time food had been withheld from him…

Once we were done there, I headed to the main room while Derek took on the bathroom. I placed the stuff across the insides of the drawers, and even took the time to cut out some pieces to place over Kit's reading glasses. Ha, try and finish Desire in the Mist like that!

Derek reported that he had sealed the toilet and tub, and even had enough to do the door! Ha, try and get through there! Muahaha!

Eventually, Derek decided that he had to pee. He didn't want to take off the plastic he had just worked so hard on (yeah, right), so I told him to go use the girl's one. Wanting to check my cell on my nightstand, I followed him to the adjoining door. He turned the knob, pushed it open, and walked in.

Simon POV

We had just finished ringing up our purchases of Saran Wrap, for surprisingly little. I held two bags of the boxes, and Tori two more. We walked back to the hotel, and we talked.

"So what sort of stuff do you wanna do with this?" I asked, lifting a bag. Tori smiled.

"I was thinking, maybe cover the toilet bowl with it, a few drawers and cabinets… yourself? Anything special?" I shrugged.

"Basically that, I thought that if we could get it taut enough, we could try and cover a door with it."

We continued to discuss methods of pranking with plastic wrap all the way to our room. I shuffled the key out of my pocket, switching the bags to one hand. I opened the door and walked in.

The door connecting the two rooms was opening, so I quickly threw my bags in to the kitchen, as did Tori. I walked forward just as Derek and Chloe stepped through. All four pairs of eyes hit the same spot at the same time.

Chloe gasped loudly, gave a tiny shriek, and then sank to the floor. Derek caught her, eyes popping out, mouth open in an '0' shape. Tori gave a miniscule "meep", before covering her mouth and literally gagging, one hand at her stomach. Myself, I blinked once, twice, and sank to my knees, praying to God that this was some twisted nightmare, and Bono was about to pop out of the bathroom and start a duet of "The Sound of Music" with Lady Gaga. Please, let it be anything but reality!

All four of us had walked in to Kit and Lauren entangled on the couch, kissing like the world was ending tomorrow.

We were forever scarred.

* * *

**You hate me for a few reasons:**

**1. You never, ever wanted to see that happen. Ever. I know, I gagged a little as I wrote it. May whoever you worship have mercy on all our souls for reading that. We all died a little today. I'm sorry. :'(**

**2. Cliffhanger. Love em, hate em. Hate, mostly (completely). But I'm fairly certain the next chapter will be up soon, because I can't stand to wait writing it. **

**3. It was short. I know it was, but it would have been hella long if I had finished it now. It's also three in the morning where I am. Suck it, I'm tired! The next chapter is a part two of this, with all the prank & unspeakable act reactions. Which you all want, I'm certain. (Not).**

**4. Too many damn POV's!**

**I have no idea why, but I just couldn't write more to this chapter. Just didn't seem right to continue it here.**

**Sorry for scarring you. Sorry for the disgustingly long wait. I'm sorry this author's note is longer than the chapter. Sorry that the sky isn't purple and made of hedgehogs (No, I'm not reading ****Clockwork Angel****, why would you think that?). I'm sorry, jeez!**

**You don't need to review. (Yes you do). I wouldn't. (I would). Seriously. (Don't listen to me).**


	10. Life in Plastic, It's Fantastic! Pt 2

**You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds, Mayday Parade. That is all.**

* * *

Chloe POV

[Blackness]

Derek POV

…Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy freaking mother of shit holy shit on a sandwich holy tub o' I can't believe it's not shit shit shit shit…

Tori POV

Gag. Retch. Choke.

Simon POV

My eyes were deceiving me. If there was a merciful god somewhere, this could not be happening.

Kit immediately straightened up, as did Lauren, straightening her shirt. Both instantly turned beet red, and scooted away from the other as far as the couch would allow. Both were at a loss for words, evidenced by the blank looks. Their thoughts were visible on their faces as if they were painted there.

_Oh._

_Shit._

Derek was the first to break the spell of motionlessness. Exhaling audibly, green eyes flashing dangerously, he picked up his unconscious girlfriend and walked out of the room without looking back.

Tori was soon to do the same, still looking rather nauseous.

A moment later, I sighed. I looked at my father, who met my gaze with a small amount of shame. I switched to Lauren, and she just lowered her lids.

I turned on my heel and walked out. I went in to the other room and found Derek and Tori on the sofa, Chloe still being cradled by my brother, though she was awake now. Her eyes were stuck wide open, and her mouth was moving like she was saying something. Upon closer examination, it sounded something like, "Can't be true, can't be true, can't be true…"

"They're probably going to come in here in a few minutes to talk about this," I informed them, and got lethargic nods in return. They each stood, Chloe clinging to Derek as though she might burst in to tears at any moment. Fragile little thing, eh?

We headed out, crossing a couple streets and finally ending up in a small coffee shop. We took the sofas in a corner just as another group was getting up. For a moment we could only stare blankly at each other, nothing to say. Finally, I sighed loudly.

"That was single-handedly the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my short life," I stated, and received 3 vigorous agreements.

"I'm surprised that they could act so immature," Tori then intoned.

"I'm surprised that they waited this long," Derek said. I looked at him curiously. He shrugged.

"I've noticed them making goo-goo eyes at each other for a while now. I was just wondering when it would happen "

"You knew and you didn't warn us?" Tori shrieked, attracting the attention of the barista working the counter closest to us. She looked over disapprovingly. I took that inopportune time to notice that she was kind of hot. The barista, I mean. Not Tori. Cuz that would be weird.

Derek, noticing my ogling, shook his head at me. I scowled at him. Then Derek answered Tori's question.

"I didn't think it would culminate in anything we'd end up seeing."

Chloe then spoke up for the first time.

"I don't think this needs to affect our pranking," she murmured. We all urged her to go on, curious about her reasoning.

"Well, I think they'll be expecting some form of repercussion on our part for their behavior. If we didn't, and instead we ignored them while we continued to prank each other, then they'd get paranoid and freak out each time they saw one of our groups planning. I think continued paranoia is worse torture than a one-stop-shot prank."

Three gaping fish looks. Chloe blushed and stammered something along the lines of taking it back, but Derek shook his head.

"Chloe, you are a goddamned evil genius. Where did you get that devious little brain of yours?" he exclaimed. Tori's reaction was simply a spreading grin, which was all the answer we needed.

"Good idea," I told her, beaming at her. She smiled back, brushing some hair behind her ear.

We then headed back in to the hotel. On the elevator ride up, I thought about how surprising our prank would be to Derek and Chloe. A prank so soon? They'd be petrified. When we reached the doors, Tori and I immediately went in to the girl's room, shutting the door behind us. Thankfully the horny ones had vacated it sometime during our absence.

We began working instantly, planning on getting the prank done as soon as possible, so we could move on to bigger and better things.

I Saran-wrapped the bathroom, getting the toilet and sink, and before sealing the door behind me, I set up my camera in the corner. I put it to the motion sensor setting, and hoped it'd get some good pictures. I came out to find that Tori had done the dresser drawers, the TV screen, and even the drinking glasses. I hi-fived her, grinning.

I told her to get her video camera out, and set it up from a vantage point in the corner. From that angle, it could get the entire room.

We then headed off to the guy's room, planning on staying there until the others decided to leave. Sometime soon, we hoped.

I unlocked the front door and walked in. I discovered that the room was empty, and shrugged. I walked over to the couch, deciding to wait for it in comfort. With _it_ being the telltale screams of a surprised victim. Or two victims, if the prank went as planned. Or four, if we were just extraordinarily lucky bastards.

Tori took the other chair, sitting back and pulling out her phone. I reached over and grabbed the water bottle I had left on the table earlier, and chugged the rest, feeling thirsty. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

An hour of Jerry Springer later, there had still been no signs of our prank working. And I had to pee. Bad. I finally got up and headed over to the bathroom.

I knew something was up when I tried to walk in. Or rather, something was down. Me. Flat on my ass and wondering what the hell had just happened. I put a hand out and discovered that there was something covering the entrance to the loo. Something, thin… and plasticky… Oh jeez.

Saran-wrap.

How in the hell…?

Leaning over covertly, I observed Tori still sitting on the couch. She was filing her nails now. She looked up from them and saw me peeking out from behind the wall. Expression blank, she flipped me off. She then returned to her work. I slowly pulled myself back into hiding, thinking hard.

I had dozed off once during the wait, for about 15 minutes. Could my short nap have given her enough time to turn the tables on me? No way to be sure.

Still thinking hard, I peeled off the layers of plastic mechanically. Deep in thought, I lifted the lid of the toilet and unzipped. And discovered that I had forgotten how to use a mental tool called _foresight_.

"Dammit!" I yelled, jumping. And then realizing that that probably wasn't the best reaction. I examined my soaked jeans and the moisture pooling on the tile. I swore, looking around for a towel. I threw it on the floor to sop up the liquid while I gingerly peeled off the wrap from the toilet seat. I threw it in the trash and washed my hands. Thoroughly.

I stalked in to the main room, Tori looking at my soggy state and immediately cracking up.

"What'd you do, wet yourself?" she asked, cackling. I merely snarled unintelligibly, going to the dresser. I yanked open my pants drawer and tried to reach in, but found my hand blocked by a mysterious barrier.

I'll admit it. I lost my cool then. I yelled. Loudly.

Chloe POV

"I think we should leave," I told Derek. We were downstairs in the lobby, sitting on a couch, people-watching. Which we kind of did a lot of. I think it was because we enjoyed each others' presence when we didn't have to be rushing around and distracted by all the things that those who knew us were talking about or doing. Also, PDA's are a hell of a lot of fun.

I pulled Derek to his feet and we walked to the elevator. We went upstairs and decided to go the guys' room see if our prank had worked yet. But when we reached our floor, Derek paused, and then pushed me behind him, wolf instincts coming first. He appeared to be listening hard, his face twisted in confusion. And then something suddenly made sense to him. Grinning, he lifted me and sprinted at top speed to the door. He jammed the card in to the slot and opened it quietly. I heard hysterical yelling, but there were words to it, not like mindless panic would have sounded.

"-And you had no right, no right! I s-swore! You did too But no, swearing means nothing these days! What the hell was this supposed to accomplish? I just don't-"

Derek and I crept in to the room, but Simon didn't notice, continuing his rant. He was standing by a dresser, the front of his pants all wet, and Tori was rolling around on the couch, looking for all the world like she was seconds from dying by asphyxiation from laughter.

"You know what, here! I should have done this eons ago!" And with that, Simon marched off to the desk. He rifled around in the drawer like a madman for a minute before yanking out a copy of a cheap gossip magazine.

He then proceeded to rip it apart, tearing out pages and shredding them. When the publication had been pulverized, he threw the bits at Tori.

"There! We are through!" Breathing hard as though he had just run, biked, and swam a triathlon, Simon leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.

Confused, I turned to my right.

"What just happened?" I asked Derek quietly.

"I'm… not… really… sure…" he replied slowly.

"Your brother has lost his mind."

Tori

I paused in my laughter to consider something. However hilarious it was to watch Simon make a fool of himself (and regrettably, my camera was in use at the moment), one detail did not escape me. I obviously hadn't put up the Saran-wrap. Which left only one option.

Had Derek and Chloe actually had the same prank idea as us? And had they actually gotten us back before we got them twice? The answer was yes.

"Aw hell, Simon!" I yelled out, realizing what had happened. "Derek and Chloe are the ones who put up the wrap, they just had the same idea as us!"

Simon's jaw dropped open, and he looked pretty sheepish.

"Guess I played right in to that one, huh?"

It was Derek and Chloe's turn to ROFL, even though they probably could have done that before. Since it was their prank. Derek doubled over, hands on knees, and Chloe supported herself with one elbow on his back. Cue the hyena noises.

When they were finally done wiping the tears from their eyes, Derek noticed something.

"What did you mean, had the same idea as us?" Derek asked, eyes narrowing. Seeing no way out, I sighed.

"We put up Saran-wrap in the other room, too," I told him, and he crossed his arms, smirking.

"I suppose it was a good thing we came here first," he said to Chloe. Simon, now much calmer, paused, and opened his mouth.

"So all of us know about the prank, but the adults don't," he murmured, sentence trailing off. We all got it.

"Chloe, your idea may have to be revised, as opportunity has presented itself and it looks pretty damn irresistible," I told her, grinning like a maniac. She shrugged.

"This seems like a good idea too," she said, smiling. Simon clapped his hands.

"Alright, everything is already all set up over there, so now we just have to wait for them to come back. Anyone know where they are?"

Everyone exchanged blank looks and shrugs. He sighed.

"Waiting's fine, I just wanted to see some action."

Snickering, I told him, "Oh, trust me, we've all seen enough _action _to last a while." The other two burst in to gales of laughter while Simon, red-faced, stormed over to the dresser again and got out a clean pair of pants. He vacated the room, and the other two sat down. I sighed.

"So, uh, what do we do while we wait?" I asked, and received some shrugs.

"Anyone got some Mary-J?" I asked, and Chloe gasped. Derek glared at me menacingly.

"Jeez, I was just kidding! Can't make a joke around here," I muttered, getting up. I went over to the desk and rifled around, looking for something to do, someone's website to hack.

"So what are we gonna do for who knows how long?" Chloe asked.

"I know! How about we play… MONOPOLY!" Simon's ecstatic voice came through loud and clear as he marched in carrying the mint-green box. I groaned, Chloe looked up, and Derek shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Simon, how many times must I tell you, no one likes-"

"Everybody loves Monopoly!" he shouted, excited, and I wondered if someone _did_ have some of the green leafy stuff after all.

"Simon, are you on drugs?" I asked him, going to sit on the couch. He frowned at me.

"No, why?"

"Just wondering."

He opened the box and spread the board on the table.

"Banker!" Chloe called, grabbing the money box.

"Alright, I'm always the dog," Derek murmured, grabbing the silver piece.

"Can I be property manager?" Simon asked, reaching for the compartment containing houses and hotels.

"What is with you people?" I asked, shaking my head. Really? But soon enough, everyone was immersed in the game.

Chloe sat on the far end of the couch, loaded. I was beginning to suspect that she stole from the bank. Because no way her orange and pink properties brought in that much revenue. And Derek kept letting her off on the rent because she threatened him with putting pictures of him eating the couch and being punished by Kit with the newspaper all over the internet. And a shame, because those were some pretty awesome pictures. The world deserved to laugh.

Derek was the property king. He had all the green and yellow properties, and hotels on half of them. He was also rich, obviously. The rent on those was like something out of a horror movie. He was something of a ruthless tyrant too, and I was beginning to regret ever having agreed to play with him. I blame his college course on Economics.

Simon was the jailbird. He couldn't stop rolling doubles, or landing on the "Do not pass go" square. Consequently, he had avoided a lot of the taxing rent charges. Also, despite the brotherly opposition, Derek still occasionally let him off on the rent charge, which, even with my loud protests, still went through.

Myself, I was in the poorhouse and sinking every turn. I landed on the third green square with the mega hotel cost\for the fourth time, and I fought to keep a shriek behind my teeth. I ignored Derek's confident smirk, and when he opened his mouth to announce the total, I held up my hand forcefully.

"I know the price," I snarled, and he held up his hands, faking innocence.

"Whoa, calm down Tori, it's just a game," he told me.

"Oh, just a game? Then you won't mind if I do THIS!"

With that, I flipped the game board over, sending pieces scattering everywhere.

"Hey!" two people shouted. Derek was on the floor, grabbing fistfuls of money, crying out.

"No! My empire! My fabulous domain!" He broke off, (fake?) sobbing in to an elbow. I shook my head.

"And I was the one taking the game too seriously." He shot me a dirty look, before his face went completely blank.

"What-"

"Shhh!" he hissed, looking towards the other room.

"They just got back. If you want a first hand look, go!"

Together, we all hurried as quietly as possible to the other room through the dividing door. What we found was that only Kit was back. Lauren was still AWOL.

We watched as he headed to the bathroom. He shut the door, and a moment later, we heard his trademark girly shriek. He came dashing out of the bathroom, still shrieking, and danced gingerly across the room, not noticing as we all ducked either behind the still open door or the nearby couch. His pants, like Simon's had been, were also soaked down the front. That's quite a rebound there.

He shot to the dresser, before remembering that this was the girl's room. But apparently desperate, as he believed that we were all still in the other room, he reached in before being stopped, again like Simon. He tossed away the plastic and pulled out Lauren's biggest pair of jeans. Without a second's hesitation, he slipped them on, struggling a bit to get the zipper up.

He then turned and saw all our shocked faces. There was a pause, in which you could literally hear everyone's silent, Oh shit. Yes, second time that day.

"Oh… my… God…" Simon said, before his knees gave out and he plopped on the ground, shell-shocked.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," I said, my voice betraying surprise through its shakiness.

No way to explain it away this time, Kit. This time, you're truly busted.

* * *

**So… many… POV's! :P**

**So there you have it, part two of the "whatever the hell my brain can think of in a week or so" marathon… thing. Don't judge me!**

**Not what you hoped for. Whatever.**

**Unsatisfying and lame. What else is new?**

**Blah blah blah. Tell someone who cares (no one).**

**Sorry for the wai- no. No I'm not sorry. I regret nothing! Deal with it! :P**

**Review. Or I wont update forever. Seriously this story ****isn't**** my top priority, and the more reviews I get, usually the funnier it is. Or maybe it gets lamer. Or something. I dunno, the crack fogs everything up in mah brayne…**

**(JK I don't do drugs. Drugs are for losers. But joking about them is fun).**

**Review for drugs! Wait wha-**


	11. It's The Zombie Apocalypse!

**Bulletproof Heart, My Chemical Romance.**

* * *

Derek POV

I was kicking back on one of the chaise lounges by the pool, eyes closed, letting the sun burn away the memory of what had transpired earlier. Just please, make it go away…

Then, a shadow crossed over me. I frowned, unhappy at the sun being taken away. I opened my eyes to find Kit looming over me. I frowned deeper.

"What do you want?" I muttered with as much scorn as possible. He flinched, but stood his ground.

"I just wanted to clear things up with you about, uh, earlier." I sighed and rolled my eyes. Taking that as a sign to go on, he started to continue. But he had gotten the sign wrong.

"Kit, no," I hissed through my teeth, and he shut his mouth. "I don't want to hear about your secret life as a cross-dresser, or how you actually look hot in women's jeans, or any of your crap. I'm trying to erase that event from my memory, so please, go away. Now."

He sighed sadly at my brash words, and then turned away, shoulders hunched. He looked back for a moment, but I turned my head away.

Harsh? Yes. But that man needed to understand that I was more scarred from that experience than from the time when Simon had decided to show me Two Girls One Cup. When I was 8. Gah.

I returned to my sunbathing, trying as hard as I could to _forget_…

It didn't work. As hard as I tried, I couldn't forget. Angrily, I stripped off my shirt and jumped in to the pool. There were no other patrons around to be scared of big, mean Derek. I swam a couple laps, enjoying the cool rush of water and managing to focus on something other than my anger.

A couple minutes later, the creak of the pool gate alerted me to another guest. I looked up and saw Chloe. She had a sundress on, bathing suit straps visible underneath, towel under one arm.

Oh yeah. Who's Kit?

She set her stuff down on another lounge, and shed her sunglasses and flip-flops. I noticed that her hair was back to its normal, beautiful blonde color. I hated the fact that we might have to dye it again if her father's ad went national. If it wasn't already. But I shook that thought from my mind.

She took off her sundress, and I died. In a good way.

She was wearing a candy red bikini with a halter-style top. The wolf in me howled its approval, and I itched to mimic it out loud.

Chloe slid in to the water on the shallow end, and I suddenly regretted that I was all the way in the deep end. But she swam quickly over to me, ducking under the water and coming up a foot in front of me.

Hi. What's your name?

I held her waist, grinning, as she pressed her lips to mine. Hers kept a steady, intense pressure on mine that I loved. Her lithe hands went straight to my chest, tracing it underwater and leaving me with a tingling that I found I enjoyed. A lot. I moved away from her lips for a moment so I could speak.

"I like your bikini." I felt her smile.

"I thought you might."

We continued kissing for a while, and I eventually moved us to the steps at the end of the pool, not wanting to have to focus on treading water. The sun-warmed water was an amazingly warm temperature, and we kept mostly under it as our lips explored the other.

But soon enough, the sun hung low in the sky, and we had to call an end to my therapy session and go back to the room. Chloe had brought me a towel as well, and I dried off at the poolside. I threw on my shirt and slung the towel over my shoulder.

I looked beside me and found Chloe standing there in her light dress, ready to go. I regretted that we had to, because the inner wolf was screaming for the dress to disappear again. Shut up!

Upstairs we headed, and found everyone congregated in the girl's room, again. What up with the discrimination against the guy's room. Did it really smell that bad?

No one had the guts to tell Lauren about what had really happened to the pair of her jeans that were mysteriously sitting in the hamper, though she had no recollection of putting them on. Personally, I had been all for burning them, but it was decided that Lauren would notice their absence too easily.

"We're going to have a movie night!" Tori exclaimed with fake enthusiasm and sarcastic jazz hands, to which Lauren scowled. But she turned to Chloe with a real smile.

"I picked out some of your favorite movies, hon," she told her, trying to make her amends. Chloe, being nicer than me, smiled back and allowed her attempt.

We all got ready for the movie, changing in to PJ's and popping some popcorn. Even though it was mostly for Chloe's benefit, we were all going to sit down and enjoy a couple of movies.

I moved the coffee table away and sat on the floor in front of the couch. Predictably, Chloe came and curled up next to me. Simon got one of the chairs, and rather suspiciously, the adults sat on the couch together, though at opposite ends. Lucky Tori got to cock block in the middle.

The first movie we were watching was a chick flick, _Midnight_ or something like that, and I didn't pay much attention to it. Chloe was riveted to the sparkly characters, as were the other people in the room. Surprisingly, that included Simon. I mean, he gasped at the right parts, and even ooh'ed a little when the main guy ripped off his shirt. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about my brother…

By the time the movie was over, everyone but my father, Chloe, and myself were asleep. I popped in the next film, a horror. I settled back in, a smile on my face.

"I love horror movies," Chloe murmured in my ear, and I grinned.

"Good. This one is the one to end them all."

By the time the opening credits were rolling, my dad had already fallen asleep. We watched it the whole way through, Chloe screaming very quietly at the appropriate parts, and even cringing in to my shirt at a particularly terrifying part. I held her and patted her back, cringing a little myself from the scene on the screen.

When the movie was over, we each recounted our favorite parts to the other in whispers.

"And then when he turned around and then the knife and they used the fan and editing, like phwooh!" Chloe said excitedly, mimicking the motion of the spray of blood with her hands. She started cracking up at herself, and I had to smile.

"You're something else," I told her, kissing the top of her head. She smiled and me and shrugged.

"I'm a movie geek."

"That's one way of putting it." I leaned in closer, ready for my next daily dose of Chloe. She kissed me eagerly, knocking me down hard, to my surprise. A small boom reverberated through the thin floor and no doubt to the room below us. I smiled in to the kiss.

"Whoa there, careful, don't wake the dead," I cautioned her, and she rolled her eyes, smirking. And then she sat bolt upright on top of me, expression calculating and thoughtful.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up and moving her carefully in front of me.

"Yes, yes, it would work," she whispered, tapping her finger against her chin. I could see the cogs in her brain working as she thought hard. Then she smiled, the sun coming from behind a cloud.

"SASDOBKA strikes tomorrow!"

Chloe POV

I had the best prank idea ever. Even better than the original pink hair dye one. Much better.

Seeing as Simon and Tori had upped the level to disturbing with the switched rooms prank, I saw no problem with throwing the same right back at them. And besides, they had missed the horror movie. They deserved to have a little scare.

I was going to set up a scene in which Derek had been murdered. Cornstarch blood, the room askew, the whole shebang. Simon and Tori had announced that they were going to the beach tomorrow. They had invited us to go, but we'd declined. I'd set it up when they were out.

Then, I was going to call in Liz, who'd play both lookout and special effects. She'd tell me when they approached, and then when they were right outside the room, she'd ram a "blood"-covered knife through it. Terrifying? Yes. Satisfying? Also yes.

The next morning, when Simon and Tori, along with Kit, left for the beach, I went out for cornstarch and red food dye. Derek was going to stay behind and explain the concept of the prank to Lauren, who, if we were lucky, would play the murderer. That would be hilarious to watch.

I hurried back to the hotel room and discovered that Lauren would be happy to oblige in our mini-movie. I grinned and thanked her.

We had once done a project similar to this in my art school. We had to set up a macabre scene, and the more gruesome it was, the higher your grade. My group had set up the aftermath of a prom attacked by zombies. Blood had figured prominently here, covering the group members who had volunteered to play dead. Add in some ruined scenery, heavy makeup, and a fog machine, and we had the best score in the class.

I was relying on my experience from that to guide my hands here. I mixed the proper amounts of the starch, water, and dye in a couple of paint buckets (borrowed), and came up with something that looked remarkably like blood.

To avoid the wrath of the hotel cleaning staff, we used plastic wrap to cover the floor, overlapping the sheets. That way, no dye could leak through. But I wasn't going to spread the blood just yet. I instructed Lauren to go get her makeup kit and Derek to sit very still in the chair.

When Lauren returned with the makeup, I took the darkest shade of eye shadow she had. I coated Derek's eyelids with it, and dusted the rest of his face to look as pale as a wax mannequin. I also did his hands and neck, so the look would be complete.

Getting excited, I asked Derek to help me start moving furniture. We flipped the table over, scattered magazines on the floor along with a vase containing flowers, skewed chairs at odd angles, messed up the bed sheets, and opened cabinet doors, placing bloody handprints, courtesy of Lauren on them. I knew they would come out (hopefully).

Tapping a finger on my chin, I analyzed what would be missing from this scene. We had a victim, a murderer, a screaming bystander (yours truly), a crime scene, lots of blood, and details. The only thing missing was…

"A murder weapon!" I exclaimed. "I need a knife."

Lauren, looking thoughtful, cocked her head.

"You know, I think Kit carries a knife. Derek, can you check in his suitcase?" He nodded and went to check.

When he returned, he came back with a switchblade about 12 inches long when extended. I raised my eyebrows.

"Just a _tiny_ knife," I commented, taking it from Derek. Aunt Lauren's eyes flashed when she saw me holding a weapon, and half of my teenage mind considered brandishing it at her. But that would get me nowhere quickly.

I dipped it in the paint bucket and gingerly spread it around with my finger to look realistic. I was relying on movie knowledge here, because no weapons had been allowed on our sets at school. Besides, zombies use their teeth, not knives.

I then called upon Liz, who answered extremely promptly. I gave her the skinny on what we were doing and what her role was, and she nodded, looking eager. She went over and took up sentry in the doorway, and it was then that we hit our first snag.

"How is Liz going to shove the knife through the door?" I asked, face going blank with shock. Had we come so far only for the effect to be somewhat ruined? I kicked at some of the magazines on the floor angrily. Then Derek's face lit up.

"What if we stuck a piece of cardboard on the inside of the door, and then when they approach, Liz rams it through that, making a loud noise but not actually hitting the door? Then, when they hear the noise and your scream, they'll open the door and find the knife, point first through the door." I grinned at him.

"That'll work perfectly! You're a genius!" I went in to the kitchen and found a cardboard box. I dismembered it and cut a small square. I taped it, brown side out, to the door. The shades matched perfectly. I told Liz to aim carefully, and she nodded determinedly.

I then set to work arranging the blood on my actors and the scene. I thought for a moment, and then instructed Derek to lie on his back, facing the ceiling, feet towards the door. I told him to leave his face blank and empty, eyes unblinking, chest not moving when they came in. He nodded, saying he could hold his breath for a full minute. Long enough for our prank to set in.

I took a pair of scissors and cut a small hole in his white t-shirt, seeing as we'd be ruining it with the fake blood anyways. I placed it where a fatal wound to the chest would go. I poured some of the cornstarch blood in, and soaked the area around it. I ran a stream down his side and pooled it next to him.

I appraised it for a moment, and decided it needed a little more pizzazz. I asked for the makeup again, and drew a wound on his face and all the way down his left arm. I poured a little on each place, making sure it ran down the side.

I then moved on to Lauren, warning Derek not to move an inch or else. I bloodied her hands, and smeared some on her face and shirt. I told her to put on her best "rabid killer" face. I got a weak baring of the teeth. I sighed and demonstrated.

"Think, feral snarl," I told her, and she did her best. I frowned, and painted her face a little more thoroughly with the blood. That helped.

I used the rest of the blood to decorate the scene, because there's more blood in the human body than one would expect. When I was finally satisfied, I took a step back. Then, I paused.

I bloodied my own hands in a way that looked like I had been trying to resuscitate Derek, and then when that failed, defend myself against the killer. The knife would be a dodged attack, lodging itself in the door behind me. I took care to streak it across my forehead and arms.

Then, I stood on bed and mounted the video camera on top of the television camera. From there, it would get footage of the entire room. I would switch it to record when Liz called.

I set up still cameras from other vantage points, and even managed to set up one that got Derek from a particularly dramatic angle, and another that would capture the reaction faces perfectly..

Then, all we could do was wait.

"Liz, how do you think this prank is going to go over?" I asked the poltergeist, who shrugged.

"This is an amazing prank, but scary too. I wouldn't like it, myself."

"Sure, but this is for Tori and Simon. And possibly Kit."

"Well, I know Tori's going to be scared at first, and then maybe pretend later that she wasn't."

"I'm kind of hoping she's gonna cry. You know how many kinds of awesome that will be as blackmail?"

Liz giggled. "Yup."

"What about Simon?"

"Well, he's proved to be girlier than I originally thought," she murmured, cocking her head. "I think he's gonna scream, and then when he sees Derek, he'll either be in shock or burst in to tears."

"This prank is kind of depressing, huh?"

"Yeah."

"But Kit's reaction is the one I kind of want to see the most. After all, it'd be his own son killed by the woman he was just getting freaky with."

Liz's eyes popped out, and I realized that I had some explaining to do. As I did, Lauren turned away, face reddening as I recounted her humiliation. Derek showed no signs of hearing. Damn, he was good.

By the time I finished, Liz too was scarred and I was fairly certain they'd be back soon. I was proved right.

"They just came out of the elevator!" Liz reported. I handed her the knife and ran to switch on the video camera. The stills would go off at 5 second intervals.

I ran to my place just in front of Derek, cowering against the wall. I forced myself to start crying, though I had no acting experience whatever. I just imagined the scene as I saw it in front of me. Lauren assumed her pose over Derek, scowling fiercely, hands forming claws.

I could hear their footsteps when Liz signaled me. She then rammed the knife with a terrific thump through the cardboard, and I screamed as shrilly as possible. I heard two shouts, a shriek, and a responding thump, as though someone had hit the wall in surprise. Liz giggled as the door was thrown open.

I continued screaming, bloody, dripping hands put out in front of me, a wild look in my eyes. The reaction faces from the three were priceless. Then, they noticed the rest of the room. Lauren towered over the still, non-breathing body of Derek, both dripping blood. There was a terrible glint in Lauren's eyes, and I realized that she was a better actress than I had thought her.

When Tori took in the scene, she screamed, as Liz and I had predicted, and dropped to the grounds, hands clawing at her face. She then proceeded to drag herself a little closer, hesitate, and then scoot back. She scooted forward again, leaning forward, before screaming again at seeing the large pool of blood and throwing herself backwards. She then began sobbing, tears streaking down her face faster than floodgates opening. I had to hide my smirk, as there were more scares to be had.

Simon too screamed shrilly, and ran up to see what had happened. Then he slipped in a pool of blood and fell backwards, arms wind milling. When he looked at what he had slipped in, his eyes and mouth turned in to 'O's. He backed away, managing to get blood all over himself. His yell choked off abruptly, and he wrapped his arms around his knees, bloodying his jeans too. He rocked back and forth, opening and squeezing shut his eyes, as if to change the picture in front of him.

Kit's took the cake though. When he saw his son lying there on the ground, obviously dead, covered in his own blood, he let out a hoarse yell and leaned against the wall for support. He noticed the knife behind him, and the blood dripping off the handle, and yelled again. He mentally traced the path it had taken, and found it to be lined up with Lauren. When he saw her, eyes wild and covered in his son's blood, he lost it. He ran up as if to tackle her, but only made it halfway. He too slipped in the blood, which was slick against the plastic wrap. His momentum carried him forward though, and as if in a cartoon, he smacked against the wall bodily, his entire body hitting at once. He then crumpled to the ground, dazed and confused. He looked up and saw Lauren towering over him, still snarling, and screamed like a child. He covered his face in his arms and began to sob.

I couldn't take it anymore. I busted out laughing. Soon enough, Lauren joined in, as did the dead body. I had to hold myself against the wall to stay upright, and Lauren slid a little on the floor as she walked forward, still laughing. The others looked up, confused, and then realized what had happened. All three now had tears on their faces.

"Wha-?" Simon started, as Derek rose off the floor. Then, somehow, it got even funnier. Simon screamed.

"It's the zombie apocalypse!"

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**Right, so this chapter idea is from the reader Suzi1811, who happens to have some of the bestest ideas ever. Thank you so much, girlie!**

**Gah, nothing to say.**

**Over and out, tumbleweeds.**


	12. Play Dough, Thin Mints & Club Soda

**Stay Together For The Kids - blink-182**

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Simon POV 

"So wait, let me get this straight: The whole, Derek being murdered thing was a prank?"

"Yes, Simon. For the 19th time, it was fake."

"And Derek was never really dead?"

"No, Simon, Derek was never dead."

"And you did not use your scary necromancer powers to animate his corpse to try and either defeat Lauren, or judging by the evil laughter, try to murder us in vengeance for your boyfriend being killed?"

"Do I need to answer this?"

"Well sorry, Mrs. Scary Necromancer Powers!"

"Her powers are not scary!" Derek put in, scowling and draping an arm over her shoulders.

"Yes, they are," I muttered under my breath, looking down.

I was sitting on the couch next to my father and Tori. We had arrived home from the beach about 3 hours before, and had spent a better part of the last hour clarifying that the terrifying murder scene we had stumbled upon had indeed been a clever fake, and that my brother had not been killed by my father's bitch. I mean Lauren.

But seriously… That prank had just been wrong! I mean, how could we have gone from Saran Wrap to blood and knives? But I could actually see why my brother and the rest of them had wanted to pull this. The reactions, including mine, must have been pretty damn funny. I had actually slipped in the fake blood and gone somewhat insane, from what the camera told me. As in, rocking back and forth, looking like I belonged in an asylum insane. Like, watching the entire "Nyan Cat for 10 Hours" video on Youtube insane. Tori's was actually funnier to watch. She had actually started crying over Derek being dead. Like, WTF? I thought she hated him. Oh well.

My dad's was unbelievable. I mean, for him, after seeing the chick he was screwing around with murder his son, he did the thing any sensible macho man would do. He attacked her. That was all fine and dandy until he fell, and upon seeing a murderer leaning over him, he freaked. And then started bawling ass. Which is not the thing any sensible macho man would do. In fact, I do believe his man-card has been revoked for that little stunt. Derek would agree, most definitely.

So all in all, blah blah, terrifying prank = hilarious reactions. Yes, we get it. That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong! Where was the morality?

Tori POV

Need I say that I was pissed? I don't like it when I cry… it makes me look ugly. Yes, I know, I wasn't aware it was possible either. An ugly Tori is like… a sad Disneyland. Or an American U2. It just doesn't make any damn sense.

So, for making me look ugly, and then _capturing the moment on video_, I was going to kick the crap out of Chloe, Derek, and Lauren if I could get her. And the kicking would be done through the outlet of a prank. One that would really hit them where it hurt. And somehow, I knew that for Derek, it was his stomach. Ah, and there it was. The ultimate prank idea to destroy Derek was there.

"Simon," I called from the sofa in the girls' room. He walked in from the kitchenette. I

noticed that he still had a bit of the fake blood on his cheek. I motioned to my own cheek, and he scrubbed at it with his sleeve. He came in and sat down, the sad puppy dog look apparent on his face.

"Please tell me you have an awesome prank idea."

I nodded.

"Please tell me my dick of a brother will suffer."

Another nod.

"And Chloe?"

My eyebrows creased for a moment as I thought, and then I nodded again.

"And Lauren too?" came his all too hopeful response.

Another definitive nod.

"Well, fire away, old chum!"

"If you ever call me that again I swear will castrate you with a blunt knife, sorcerer."

A terrified nod.

"And then when I'm done, I will cover them in steak sauce, duct tape them to your forehead, and throw you in to a kennel of rabid, starved pit bulls and fan girls."

Simon noticeably shivered.

"Capische?"

Frantic nodding.

"Glad we understand each other."

Simon POV

I was in Wal-Mart. Why, you ask? Well, Tori claims that she has, "never set foot in Wal-Mart and don't ever plan to," because apparently, "only poor people shop at Wal-Mart." I see absolutely nothing wrong with shopping at the place. I mean, it's no 99 cent store. It could be a lot worse. So I was stuck shopping in the apparent poor person's store for the things we needed for our prank.

So anyways, I was in the children's toy aisle. I walked up and down it, browsing among the Dora the Explorer backpacks and wall flower decals, searching for the one thing I needed. I rounded the corner and discovered the single-handedly greatest object I had ever laid eyes on. Actually, the greatest _objects_ I had ever laid eyes on. A giant metal cage held the largest number of bouncy balls I had ever seen. I craned my neck backwards to see the top of it, which climbed halfway to the ceiling. I immediately ran forward to the opening towards the bottom, through which you were free to grab any ball and buy it and take it home with you for it to be yours forever and ever and…

My eyes had started to tear up a bit at the amazing sight, and I immediately started looking in the vicinity of the opening, looking for the perfect ball that would be my best friend forever and ever and…

Just then, I felt a tug at my jeans. A small, smiling boy of about five was looking up at me, and when I met his eyes, he looked towards the ball container too. Ah, a fellow ball lover. I squatted to be about his height.

"Hey, there," I said to him. "Would you like a ball?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, just point to which one." He scrutinized the cage, looking up and down it carefully. Finally, he decided.

"That one," he murmured, pointing. I followed his finger, and found it to be on a red one. At the very top. I looked at his innocent, begging face, and decided, what the hell.

"Okay, little guy. I'll get you your ball." I turned towards the cage, and looked all the way up. How was I going to get up there? Suddenly, I had an idea. I stuck my foot in to one of the holes formed by intersecting metal wires, and found it to be a reliable foothold. So I began my climb up the side of the cage.

"I hope to God this thing is braced at the bottom," I muttered under my breath as I scaled the container. As I neared the top, I found that I had a pretty good view of the store. The little boy got smaller and smaller, and people started to look up at the magnificent guy who was climbing the side of the ball cage. I could imagine their thoughts. "Wow, look at that guy! He's so amazing, getting the little boy a ball like that! What a kind, brave dude!"

"Look at that idiot, who the hell does he think he is, Spiderman?" one lady whispered to her companion, who nodded and pursed her lips.

When I finally got to the top, I swung a leg over and sat on top of all the balls. What an amazing feeling! I could see the whole store, and all the aisles and people, and… and a horde of people dressed in blue shirts and black pants. Dammit. Wal-Mart employees, plotting against my amazing feat, planning to steal my thunder and force my exit of the store.

"Sir, can you please dismount from the container?" one of them called from the crowd now standing at the bottom.

"Hell no! You'll never take me alive!" I yelled out, and threw a ball down. Not to hit anybody, just to make a statement. It flew down rather quickly, giving me an idea of just how high up I was. I looked nervously down, and watched it hit the ground with a resounding sound of plastic hitting linoleum. I swallowed thickly and began adjusting myself, looking for the red ball that the little boy wanted. I moved blues and purples and greens aside, and suddenly saw a flash of red.

"Yes!" I called out, holding the red ball above my head. Then I looked down. "Little boy!" I called out. I saw his tiny, ecstatic face in the crowd. "Here's your ball!" I yelled, and threw it down excitedly. He caught it in his tiny arms, and hugged it to himself. Ah, the sight of boy and ball together just made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

"Sir, can you please come down now?" another employee shouted, and I exhaled very loudly.

"I suppose I could, but I still have to find my ball!" I told her, and then continued shifting more balls to look for my best friend. "Not orange, not yellow," I muttered, as she started yelling something inaudible and the crowd began to murmur. Just then, I noticed a sudden, if subtle, shift. "Uh, oh," I muttered, and suddenly the damn burst.

At the bottom, the barrier that kept the balls inside suddenly seemed to stop working, and out of the opening balls were pouring like some sort of magical waterfall. I was rapidly shooting towards the bottom when I saw it. My dream ball. I waded towards it in the quickly descending fall, and wrapped my arms around it just as I was shot out through the bottom. The place was in pandemonium, everyone yelling as balls rolled everywhere; the kids in delight, the adults in panic. I smiled at the thought that I had caused all this.

I bolted towards the front of the store, ignoring the shouts of the Wal-Mart employees behind me. I ran towards the checkout aisles, and alarmed many shoppers. I dug a 5 out of my pocket and dropped it on the counter manned by a large man. "Thanks!" I yelled in mid-run, turning back for a moment, and then running out the front doors with my ball. I immediately called mist and fog to me upon my exit, obscuring my form from any video camera that might have been watching me. I kept it up until I was several blocks away. I smiled widely, hugging my new buddy. I then realized that I had completely forgotten to get the prank stuff. "Dammit," I said to myself, and then started walking to a different Wal-Mart. Because I doubted the one I had just left would welcome me back with another bright yellow smiley-face sticker and a cheery, "Welcome to Wal-Mart!"

Tori POV

"So that's why I'm no longer allowed back in the Wal-Mart on Main Street!" Simon finished, smiling proudly. He had tossed the bags on the coffee table in the guys' room, and had finished recounting the story of his afternoon to me.

"My God, you're an idiot," I murmured, face palming. "At least you got the stuff too."

"And my ball!" he added excitedly, hugging his "buddy" to his chest.

"Are you positive you're not doing anything? Pot, maybe?" He frowned at this.

"No, Tori. Drugs are for losers."

"Okay, okay. Just checking. Here, hand me the bags." He did, and I started rummaging through them.

"Awesome," I told him once I was through. "You wanna do this now, before they get back?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah, they said they'd be gone for a couple hours, and wasn't that about 10 minutes before I came back?"

"Mmm hmm. Let's get started then."

I reached in to the first bag and pulled out the basic package of Play-Dough. "You any good at sculpting?" I asked him, and received a head shake. "Alright then," I muttered, and slashed through the plastic with my fingernail. I shook out the four colors and appraised my options. I uncapped the red one first and shook out the dough. I kneaded it and set it aside. I did the same with the other colors. I then split the yellow in half, and slowly combined it with bits of red until I had achieved the brownish yellow color of cooked pizza dough. I then coated the "dough" with almost all of the rest of the red, making it look like tomato sauce. Then, I ran the rest of the yellow through the tiny toy it had come with. It produced things that looked like pieces of cheese. I spread these on the little slice of pizza I was making, and then smoothed them down to look like they'd been through an oven.

I got up and got a spritzer bottle from the kitchenette, and sprayed the pizza with it, making it look incredibly realistic. I mean, even for Play Dough, it looked pretty damn delicious. The only problem would be getting Simon not to eat it. I looked over to see how he was doing.

He had gotten 2 bottles of club soda (eesh, who likes that shit anyways? Tastes like absolute crap. Apparently only to be used in alcoholic beverages). He was now pouring alternating amounts of red and yellow food dye in to one of the bottles, and eventually achieved a brown color that looked similar to Coke. He left the other one empty. He then switched the club soda labels with the wrappers of the new bottles sitting in the cooler. Respectively, Coke and Sprite half-liter bottles. He tossed me the Sprite with the club soda label and instructed me to down it. He gave himself the Coke.

"Last thing," I said, digging out the box of Oreos and the tube of toothpaste. "Grab a knife," I told him, and he retrieved 2 plastic butter knifes and a glass from the counter. I opened the package and slid out the tray. I grabbed a knife and began splitting the first few cookies in one row. I scraped the filling off with the knife and in to the glass. I uncapped the toothpaste and squirted some on to one cookie half. I spread it evenly with the knife, and then replaced the other half. Simon copied me, and we finished the first 3 cookies in each row in a matter of minutes. This way, no matter where the people would grab their cookie, they'd get a Thin Mint instead of an Oreo.

I hi-fived Simon, and then picked up the glass. I ran my finger on the inside edge and snagged some of the frosting. "Yum," I declared, licking my finger. Simon snatched it back and devoured some of it.

"I agree," he said. I grabbed it back.

"No way, diabetic. You don't get to agree. Gimme."

The final thing I did was relatively simple. I just unscrewed the lids of the salt and pepper shakers to where they'd fall off the moment they were turned upside down. I replaced them in their normal spot.

After we (I) finished the cup, we put things away. The toothpaste in the bathroom, and the Oreos in the kitchen for after dinner. The bottles in the pantry, and the "pizza" slice in the fridge. We'd send Derek to the fridge later with the incentive of one last slice left, his for the taking. I tossed Simon the green Play-Dough, and told him to go crazy. Unfortunately, I think he took my meaning to heart. I got the blue one, and retired to my room to stimulate the right portion of my brain and creatively use it to fulfill an artistic part of me never honed as a child.

In other words, I played with it.

I chuckled as I kneaded it, squeezing it between my fist and watching the tendrils wrap themselves around my knuckles. I flattened it in my palm and stretched it out, seeing how thin it could get without breaking. I then rolled it up in to a burrito, and folded in the edges. I made it in to a box, and then rolled the edges in to a sphere. I tried to make a triangular prism, and was still trying to get the gunk from underneath my fingernails when the family returned. From where, you ask? Like I gave enough of a shit to care.

They arrived cold and hungry, and so I immediately suggested dinner. The sooner to implement the prank, my dears! I ushered them in to the guy's room, Derek eyeing me suspiciously but not openly confronting me regarding my manner. Heh heh. Stupid wolf boy. He didn't know what he was in for.

When Simon noticed their entrance, he called out a hello. Derek's stomach rumbled at a very opportune time, and Simon took advantage of it.

"Bro, there's a slice of pizza in the fridge if you want it." Wolf boy about bolted over there. He threw open the fridge door and grabbed the slice. Without even bothering with a microwave (as we'd hoped he wouldn't… the smell and subsequent appearance would be hard to pass off as Domino's very best), he snarfed the piece. And paused in his chewing. And then… swallowed? He frowned.

"Dude, that was a little stale. And a bit salty. Pretty good though. Thanks for the tip."

Understandably, at this point, I was having some trouble not showing everybody my lunch. My facial expression, which had been set in a smile ready to morph in to something a little more smug, was close to shattering. I took a deep breath through my mouth, and then exhaled. Okay, Tori. You knew wolf boy was weird. Not a big deal…

Later on, during dinner (ordered takeout, as per usual), someone asked me to pass the salt. Hiding my smile, I agreed, and watched as Chloe got more than she bargained for. She shot me a glare, believing that I had done it just before passing it, not knowing that the salt was the least of her worries that evening. Then, Kit called to bring out the soda. I smirked at Simon, and he smirked back as he went and retrieved the tampered-with bottles. He set them on the table, and sat back as everyone poured some in to their glasses. Laughter from the both of us at the choking and sputtering when everyone took a sip.

"Damn flat soda," Lauren choked out, standing to empty her glass in to the sink. Oh Lauren, if only you knew…

After dinner, Derek spotted the Oreos on the counter. He pointed them out to Chloe, who opened the package. She got one for Derek and one for herself (what, not doing to offer us any? Not that we'd take it). They bit at the exact same moment, and their expressions were hilarious.

"What is with the messed up food tonight?" Chloe yelled, and I laughed. She whirled around and looked at me and Simon laughing our asses off, and she got it.

"It's a prank!" she exclaimed to Derek, who was busy scraping his tongue out over the sink. He raised his head, retracting his tongue inside his mouth.

"Seriously?" he asked me, rolling his eyes. "Really lame, guys. Not at all up to standard."

I made an exasperated noise. "Does every prank need to be a freaking professional horror movie scene? Just accept the fact that- oh holy shit. You didn't know." My face remained blank for a moment, and in the next I was laughing so hard that I had to hold myself up on the chair to keep from ROFL'ing. I choked out to Simon, "The- the pizza," and he started laughing as hard as me. Derek and Chloe stood confused for a moment.

"Your pizza slice was Play-Dough!" I screeched at him through teary eyes. He cocked his head to the side, and then turned this really nasty shade of green. He spun suddenly and started yakking in the sink. I laughed harder, covering my nose. Chloe started rubbing his back as he gagged, shooting us a dirty look. "That was really mean, guys!" she yelled, and I just laughed harder.

"No, you know what's mean? This." I grabbed the takeout box that had been sitting in the counter and chucked it (wrong choice of verb) at the both of them. It flipped open and spattered both of them with house noodles. Chloe's mouth was set in a comical "O", and I don't think Derek even noticed. Then, her face turned red. She swiped at the noodles hanging like hair accessories in her face and locked her eyes with mine. She strode forward, muttering, "You'll regret that, Tori." She picked up the box containing the rice, and just before she threw it at Simon and I, she screamed…

"FOOD FIGHT!"

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**The day after one's birfday is quite anticlimactic, isn't it?**

**I might need a beta reader for this story. If you wanna apply for the job, you have to be quick but thorough. Thanks.**

**Thanks to multiple people for the various ideas that fueled this story. Yup. Your help is enjoyed & appreciated.**

**Review, because I have something very special planned for the 200 review celebration. Mmm hmm, now you're intrigued. Ha. You'll just have to wait.**

**Gah. I love Play-Dough. *plays with it* hehe, it's so weird! Me loves it! *smashes it on laptop keyboard* NOO! *frantically tries to scrape it off* **

**Rghtui3frhuieq rnuiebqfvyce nfh318ghe0qhg epqrguoheqrg j ergo**

** No I didn't actually type "ergo" on purpose. Weird huh?**

**K bye.**


	13. Breast Cancer Awareness

**21****st**** Century Breakdown/ 21 Guns - Green Day**

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Chloe POV

"FOOD FIGHT!" I shrieked, and hurled the takeout box of rice at Tori. It hit her full in the face with a satisfying _thunk_ and scattered rice all over her hair like a thousand lice. Her facial expression was absolutely adorable. The accompanying banshee screech, however, was not adorable. Even Derek, who was retching in to the sink, turned around to cringe at Tori. She blinked angrily a couple times, and then extended her hands straight out towards the table, muttering a knock-back spell under her breath. In the next second, all the contents the table had held were flying towards Derek and I at warp speed. I ducked, giggling madly, as the majority of the food ricocheted off Derek's back.

"You stupid bitch!" Tori yelled. Up until this point, Simon had been in the background, stunned at what was transpired and not getting it. Then, I could literally see the neurotransmitters inside his head going off. The words "food fight" finally registered with him, and he laughed loudly, albeit slightly maniacally. He ran to the pantry and grabbed a pickle jar. He twisted the top off, grunting in what he probably thought was a masculine manner, and started tossing pickles at the three of us. Apparently, alliances meant nothing once the art of food throwing was involved.

I ran to the fridge and yanked out a jar of salsa. Not the extremely spicy kind, as that would just be mean, right? I got the top off and jerked the jar in Tori's direction. The scarlet chunks of tomato, ivory pieces of onion, and the emerald of cilantro (mold? It had been a while since we had gotten it…) made a magnificent menagerie of color in her hair. I laughed and finished off the jar with Simon. His golden hair made a wonderful backdrop for my masterpiece.

By now, Derek's puking had finally ceased, thankfully. He wiped his mouth on a dishtowel, and turned around. He then noticed what was going on. Furious at Tori and Simon's pizza prank, he looked eager to peg them with whatever ammo could be found in the armory that was to most people a Frigidaire. He dashed over there and grabbed a carton of eggs. He held the container in one arm and tossed the baby grenades with his free hand. He didn't aim for the faces, but let's just say that their clothing had definitely seen better days. His facial expression was one that can be seen in the old time pictures of wartime.

Tori slid to the table, the floor now covered with a rather putrid combination of egg guts, salsa, and pickle juice. She grabbed the unopened soda and took it in her hands like one might a machine gun. She shook it rapidly, and then instinctively whispered a few words. She aimed it at us, and then flicked her fingers at the cap.

Geologists still cannot explain the sudden, apparently random formation of a geyser in New Jersey that was a size arguably big enough to give Old Faithful a run for its money.

I dove under the table in a move that Bruce Lee would have hi-fived me for. However, I found that being under the table did just about nothing to protect me from the spray. The entire kitchen was drenched, including myself and the boys. Tori, however, was incongruously dry and grinning like a lunatic.

It would have been ridiculous to the point of insanity to hope that Kit and Lauren had not noticed the nuclear food war that had taken place in the kitchen. That did not, however, stop us from cleaning out the rest of the fridge and pantry of anything that would make a vaguely good projectile. So when the two finally got off their asses and went to see what their delinquent adopted supernatural children were doing, or rather destroying, the room looked less like a kitchen and more like a piece of modern art. Does anyone actually understand that shit?

"Stop it!" Lauren shrieked, just before receiving a tomato full in the face, courtesy of me.

"Hey!" Kit yelled, stepping forward, before slipping on a banana peel (too damn funny) and slamming in to the corner of the table, meat sword first. Everyone in the room cringed as he went down, face frozen in a horrid snarl of agony. The room was silent, and the soft _sploosh _of his limp body hitting the ground was audible from all directions. He curled in a fetal position. No one knew what to say.

The lunatic, humorless laughter from Simon was that of a condemned man.

Derek POV

We stood in the ruined kitchen, all 4 teens lined up straight like soldiers about to get a beating. Kit was walking, no, _pacing_ in front of us, looking for all the world like an Asian Hitler about to chew out some disobedient Nazis. This effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that his shirt was splattered with pieces of food, and the sausage he was repetitively hitting against the other hand in an attempt to look menacing. Eva, I mean Lauren, stood off to one side, arms crossed, expression sour. Despite her best efforts to clean it off, Chloe's well-thrown tomato still remained in places on her face and neck.

"I am so disappointed in you-" Kit began, stopping in his pacing to face us. But before he had the chance to finish his sentence, Chloe leapt forward, dripping with soda water and God knows what else. She shook out her hair and yelled.

"No! I regret nothing! I apologize for nothing! I take full responsibility for my actions! I enjoyed every damn second, and I'll do it again! You'll never take me alive!" At this, I had to reach forward and grab the back of her shirt and attempt to restrain her. She fought me, apparently still carrying on with her "I will not be repressed" act.

"Save it for the camera," I muttered, and she quit, arms folding across her chest. Kit glared down at her, which was steadily returned on Chloe's part, and then continued addressing the group.

"I've decided that it's best if we simply vacate the rooms. We've been paying by night anyways. And I'm aware of the fact that it's a crime to damage the room like this and not pay for the damages-"

"Wait we're not paying for the damages?" Chloe said in a rush. Kit gave her another look.

"No, as we don't have the funds to redo something like this and-"

"Haha! Our legend lives on, friends!" She hi-fived all the minors, and before she could do something ridiculous, like flip off her aunt and guardian and run out of the room and down the street, screaming about her legacy, I yanked her back again. Something about mindless destruction just made this girl absolutely high…

Kit, now shaking his head, regained control of the situation. "We're going to leave in an hour. Pack all your belongings. And please, for the love of God, take a shower." With that, he dismissed us, and somehow, we knew that we were still going to be punished. But then again, who cared?

I called the guy's shower first, and yanked out some clean clothes to wear. I showered thoroughly, and brushed my teeth even more thoroughly. I pulled on the clothes and set about packing my clothes. I finished that rather easily, as I was leaving most of my too-short jeans behind. Yeah, another winner, that prank was.

I lugged my suitcase discreetly down to the car. When I was in the elevator, I thought about what my dad had said about not paying for the damages. It raised the question, again, of where our funds were coming from. I hoped he wasn't doing anything immoral, like bank robbing. Because if he was, then I was seriously going to be pissed. I mean, why hadn't he invited me? I scowled at the thought. The one other person in the elevator looked over at me, and then nearly tripped over himself scrambling over the threshold.

At the car, I hurled my bag in without a second thought. I then got the urge to Change, because something was telling me that this was going to be one long-ass drive. I looked around, then bolted to the trees that surrounded the hotel, shucking my jacket as I went.

Simon POV

I finished packing my suitcase, and set it by the door. I then went to go see Tori, because if there was a chance of repairing the alliance, then I had better do it now. She probably hadn't been pleased by the food fight, and the accompanying fact that I'd attacked her with pickles. Yeah, I had better apologize.

I walked in to her room and found her packing, as Chloe was in the shower. She looked up as I walked in, surprisingly not scowling at me or looking ready to claw my eyes out. In fact, it may have been a trick of the light, or a sudden mirage, or random muscle spasm, or a fart like those babies do and it looks like they're smiling at you but really they're just popping a really nasty one and you're oblivious because of their blinding cuteness… where was I going with that? Right. It looked like she _smiled _at me. But again, any one of the things above could have really been the cause.

I came to stand right in front of her, and she sat there, waiting. My hand went to the back of my neck, and I scrambled for words. "Well, I, uh, just wanted to, uh, kinda, well, uh, apo-"

She cut me off with a hand gesture. "Wasn't the food fight _awesome_?" she asked excitedly, and again, there might have been that trick of the light, or the muscle spasm, or the broken wind, but I could have sworn that I saw the corners of her mouth tilt up in a non-sarcastic or menacing way. My eyebrows rose and I took an involuntary step back. I heard the shower stop in the next room.

"Are you feeling alright?" was the first thing my mouth could think of to say, and before I could hit myself for saying something that she was obviously going to take offense to, she laughed. And I mean an honest-to-God laugh. Like, the creation of sounds through the throat while breathing rapidly and shallowly to express amusement.

"Of course I'm feeling alright! I mean, what's a better stress-remover than getting to throw a bunch of food at people for no good reason at all? I feel lighter than air!" She then proceeded to make those odd sounds again, along with the messed up breathing pattern. Just then, Chloe stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel. She heard Tori before she saw her, and I saw her eyes widen as large as saucers. She clapped her free hand over one ear.

"Put that thing out of its misery!" she called, and then stepped forward. "What-" she managed, cocking her head to the side as she took in Tori on the floor, appearing as though she were asphyxiating.

"Simon, do the Heimlich!" she shouted, panicking.

"Chloe, she's laughing, not choking," I told her, eyes still riveted to Tori. A moment later, Chloe joined in the staring.

"Just back away slowly," she said softly, backing up in to her room. I did the same back in to mine.

That's what I get for trying to be a good person.

Chloe POV

After the strange Tori-laughing episode, I hurried up and dressed and finished in the bathroom. I packed the rest of my belongings, and was then rushed out the door by Aunt Lauren. The rushing lasted all the way in to the car, until all 6 of us were there.

The next two days were boring as hell.

Driving. And driving. And then driving. More driving. Even more driving. Then even more driving then that. Then, just to break the melancholy, a gas station. Three guesses what came next. I'll give you a hint: starts with a D. Then, miraculously, after an evening of sleeping in the car (not recommended at all) a motel!

When we got there, it was one o' clock in the morning. As far as I knew, we were somewhere in Texas. Yay.

I was wide awake, thanks to a lovely couple of Starbucks mooched from the adults. However, I thought I was the only one. Simon and Tori were actually sharing the seat this time, which I attributed to her insane good mood. Wasn't gonna question it. But when we had to get out, I noted that Derek awoke more easily than the other two did.

When we finally got the rooms, everyone pretty much collapsed in to the beds. I just sat on the couch and debated what to do with the rest of my evening.

Derek crept in at about a quarter past two.

"You wanna do a prank?" he asked in one big rush. Someone had drank more coffee than me, apparently.

"Sure," I muttered, more out of boredom than anything.

"Do we have any food coloring?" Derek asked 10 minutes later, as we exited the motel and headed to the car, where our unpacked bags had remained.

"I think so," I said, as I rummaged through the duffel that contained our food supply. Yup, there they were. From some as yet undone prank, still in the packaging.

"Heh, let's tape them to the showerheads so that they dye whoever showers next," Derek said, chuckling, sounding remarkably like he was auditioning to voice either Beavis or Butthead.

"Heh, yeah," I said in the same manner, playing along. Derek smiled at me, getting the reference.

"Ooh, rubber bands!" I said a while later, pulling them out of the package. "Let's put them on the faucets and make them splash people!" I gestured with my hands, giggling. I completely blamed the coffee for the incoherence.

Then Derek had an idea.

"I knew it was gonna come in handy on day, I just knew it!" he suddenly exclaimed, grabbing his suitcase and rummaging through it frantically. Then he pulled out a small, bright red package. I looked at it curiously.

"The hell is that?" I muttered.

"Super-strength Chilean itching powder," he told me, cracking up. "Oh, it's gonna be so cool!" I started laughing too.

"Brilliant!" I told him, and then, still laughing, started going through Tori's suitcase. "Look! Let's coat the soap with this clear nail polish! No clean hands tomorrow! Wait, ew! Oh well!" Derek shrugged.

"Just keep one clean soap for us to use." I beamed at him.

"Great idea!"

We both continued rummaging through the bags, looking for anything that could be vaguely useful in a prank.

"All that's in here is clothes!" I moaned after a few more minutes of fruitless searching. I tossed a handful of clothes away from me in frustration. Just then, Derek grinned.

"That's exactly it," he told me excitedly, holding up two handfuls of clothes, presumably Simon's. He then proceeded to relay his idea to me in excited whispers, though there was no one around.

"Awesome! How late is Wal-Mart open?"

Derek POV

I grinned down at Chloe as we walked down the darkened sidewalk. She was under my arm, carrying a plastic shopping bag that crackled cheerfully in the somewhat dank atmosphere. I was rolling a suitcase that contained my father's and brother's clothing. We were looking for a late-night Laundromat. Any one that was open then would suit our devious purposes.

Finally, we found one with a broken streetlight in front of it. We slipped inside. It was completely deserted, which befitted the hour. I rummaged with my free hand in my pockets for some change, and Chloe did the same. We ended up with just enough for one run in the washer and another in the dryer.

I walked over and opened the suitcase on one of the benches conveniently located for waiting patrons. I pulled out all the clothes and stuck them in a washer. Chloe then walked up with her bag. She pulled out its contents and opened the package. She unscrewed the top of the bottle and emptied the contents in to the washer. I peered doubtfully in.

"It just looks black," I told her, examining the pooling liquid.

"The hair dye did too, at first. Don't worry, it'll turn a really lovely color soon enough." With that, she snapped shut the lid of the washer, inserted her coins, and adjusted the settings.

"You may have the honor," she told me, indicating the Start button.

"Don't mind if I do," I told her, and pressed the button firmly.

A sense of anticlimax came over me as the washer came to life, and water poured crustily in to the old machine. I backed up to the bench and sat.

"And now we wait," Chloe muttered, leaning against me.

Forty minutes later, the washer beeped, and I stood clumsily. Chloe sat up straight, and then stretched, yawning. She frowned sleepily as I heaved the now bright pink clothing in to the adjacent dryer.

"Breast cancer awareness," I said cheerily, imaging the looks on the guys faces when they saw their new clothes. I shoved in a couple of coins and walked away as the machine began its spinning.

"You're looking tired," I told Chloe, lifting her chin gently to examine the circles under her eyes. She blinked, and turned away.

"Not much sleep last night," she said around a yawn, covering her mouth.

"Let's go find some coffee," I told her, gesturing towards the door.

"But it's so late," she murmured, cocking her head uncertainly.

"Who cares. Let's just go."

Outside, the night was still sultry, despite the hour. It took a bit of walking, and at one point I was honestly worried I was going to have to carry my girlfriend back to the motel and forget about the prank, but eventually we found a convenience store selling bottled caffeine. I bought two sodas and two coffees, because if we wanted to finish the prank in the motel room, we'd need more than one. I handed Chloe her soda and toasted her as we walked back to the Laundromat.

"To the life of SASDOBKA's pranking," I said, and took a sip.

"To the life of pranking in general," she responded, and chugged a sip like a trucker.

When we got back to the place, there was still ten minutes left on the timer. I frowned.

"What do you wanna do?" I asked Chloe, all vestiges of tiredness now gone from my body and mind.

"I can think of a few things," she told me, smiling like a cat would at a canary. She took a slow, purposeful step forward, carrying the confidence of a hunter. Her smile hinted at things that I was only too eager to see happen. Another step. I decided to play it ignorant.

"Oh? Like what?" I said coyly, pivoting a quarter turn to the right, affecting a thinking pose. "I suppose we can always, oh, _talk_ or something. World economy and such."

Chloe was having none of this. She continued to stalk forward, hands curling in to frightful claws at her sides. Her tone remained light, though.

"Mmm, no, I don't think so," she murmured, pausing and cocking her head to the side, her smile turning from sweet to feral. Then, unexpectedly, she lunged, hitting me full in the chest. My hands went around her waist, keeping her there, as she kissed me fiercely.

"Good idea," I told her, and felt her smile rather than saw it.

A few minutes later, the timer beeped. I half-expected the huntress to hiss at it, but she refrained, sliding meekly off of me instead. She pulled all the fresh clothes out of the dryer, the heat making her flush adorably. She dumped all of it on top of the suitcase, and she began folding it all to fit inside.

Once it was all neatly put away, she zipped it shut and pulled out the handle. She lugged it towards the door while I got the bag containing our coffees.

When we finally got back to the motel, I could feel the tiredness creeping up again, ready to make me bound in to my bed. I resisted the urge, and unlocked the car. I rummaged around to find my Chilean itching powder, and when I did, I opened all the suitcases except Chloe's and my own. I put some powder in to each item of clothing except undergarments. Because no one likes an itch in the undercarriage.

I then carefully replaced the clothing in everyone's respective suitcases, and shut them all. Before I did that, though, I retrieved the items we would need in the room. I retrieved the convenience store bag and handed Chloe her coffee as I took my own. We downed it eagerly as we made our way to the staircase.

In the rooms, I assigned her the task of coating the soap with the nail polish. I went in to each bathroom and put a rubber band over the faucet to ensure maximum spray capability. When Chloe had finished, she returned the soaps to their respective containers. Then, I handed her the container of blue dye.

"This is for the girls' room," I told her, and she nodded. She saluted me as she made her way in to their room. We had agreed before to call it a night after we had placed the dye, and I called a quiet good night as she shut the door.

I took my container of red dye that would clash so wonderfully with the newly pink clothing. The ladies would be all over them for this. I grabbed a rubber band from the bag open on the table and went in to the bathroom. I fastened the dye container to the showerhead with the rubber band, and when satisfied that it would come out when the shower turned on, I headed to bed. I couldn't wait to hear the shrieks of my brother and father the following morning.

As a last minute thought, I hurried downstairs and back down to the car. I dug through my bag until I could find my camera. I would want pictures of this.

* * *

**I had a dream last night we drove out to see Las Vegas. We lost ourselves in the bright lights, I wish you could have seen us… this song interlude and most of this chapter brought to you from Vegas. :D**

**Know what I realized? I should have waited to do the horror movie prank until after I read Stephen King's ****Pet Sematary****. Gah. You know my mother suggested that book to me? Thanks for the nightmares, mom. Moofing on.**

**Hehe. Moofing.**

**Sheblehbleh. I love Green Days' 21****st**** Century Breakdown album. Great story there. X)**

**You're welcome for the new chapter. And also, really, don't freaking volunteer all at once to beta read for this story. You're flooding my inbox, I can't decide who to pick.**

**That was sarcasm. I do need help. Please and thank you.**

**Oh, and prank ideas are always welcome. I'll reply to most of the ideas, and credit will be given where credit is due.**

**So, erm… REVIEW! Cha mah peeps, getting a response lets me know that all the page views aren't just from myself. & also because writing a chapter and getting no response is like writing a letter and not getting a reply :'(**

**REVIEW FOR MASS HYSTERIA! (say in your review if you got the references both here and at the top of this author's note :3)**


	14. Streaking in Texas

**Memories - Panic at the Disco**

* * *

Tori POV

When I awoke the following morning, I was surprised to find that I was the only one up. Normally I slept in well after everyone else had awoken. I stretched, sitting up in bed. I blinked at the alarm clock and discovered that it was about noon. We had arrived pretty late last night, so suddenly everyone still being asleep made sense. Yawning, I swung my feet over the edge of my twin bed and padded to the closet. I remembered that our clothes were still in the car, and griping to myself, I snagged the keys and my shoes and headed out.

I retrieved my suitcase from the car and brought it back to the room. I plucked out some clothes to start my day with. I headed in to the bathroom and dropped them on the counter, and then started the shower. I stripped and stepped in. I closed my eyes as the hot water hit me. I blindly washed, enjoying the steam from the water. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. I dried off and got dressed. As I looked in the mirror to comb my hair, I gasped in shock. My first reaction was, what a lovely shade of cyan! My second reaction was, am I choking and this color is a result of the lack of oxygen? My third reaction was, Chloe and Derek did this I just know it and now they will pay.

So, acting on the third reaction, I shrieked loudly. Well, more like banshee-screeched. I eyed my skin, a primordial rage rearing up inside me, begging to hurt whoever had done this to me. The scream of course drew a sleepy eyed Lauren in to the bathroom.

"What's wro-" she started, only to catch sight of my blue face and arms. I watched her immediately choke on a chuckle, and try to keep it contained. I grew angrier.

"I look like a frickin' smurf! THIS. IS. NOT. FUNNY!" That, of course, drew more muffled laughs, and I screamed in frustration. I went to turn on the sink to try and rinse the stuff off, and I immediately got a face full of water.

"Ugh!" I yelled, trying to block the spray with my hands and failing epically. I reached down blindly and yanked the faucet to off. I inspected the sink and discovered the source of my annoyance. I yanked a rubber band off the head of the faucet with a huff of frustration. I cautiously tugged on the handle and the water dripped gently in to the sink. I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed the soap from its container next to the sink.

As I rubbed the soap between my hands, I looked over to Lauren. She had managed to get her facial expression righted, and she came over to me, examining the state of my face, now contorted in a horrid snarl of anger. Her hands moved slowly towards my hair, and I allowed her to touch it without biting her fingers off.

"The dye isn't really noticeable in your hair, as it's really dark. But your skin…" She let her sentence trail off as she doubtfully eyed my blue stained skin. I snorted.

"I look like I drowned and was raised by Chloe." I expected her to at least chuckle a bit at the reference, but she remained stoic.

"Not funny," I heard her mutter almost inaudibly. I rolled my eyes, not caring that she could see. I jerked my head away from her prying hands and watched her walk out from the corner of my eye. I returned my focus to washing my hands and arms. A process that was currently… going nowhere.

"Why- won't- this- stupid- thing- LATHER?" I shrieked in rage as the soap stayed refused to release any cleaning agents, despite the fact that I had rubbed hard enough to completely erode the face of a marble statue. I threw it down in frustration as I realized that I would not be getting rid of any dye on my skin that way. Seething at my futile efforts, I took out my fury on my hair with the comb, getting rid of all the tangles the hard way. I rid my mouth of bacteria in the same fashion.

As I did all this, I absentmindedly scratched at an itch on my side. That moved up on to my arm, and then back down to my upper leg. It reached every part of my body covered by clothes, and it didn't go away, but worsened. I threw down my hairbrush and scratched frantically at my body with both my hands, desperate to get rid of this itch. I stifled another screech and lifted the hem of my shirt. As I did, a small amount of powder fell out from the very edge of it.

"What the hell?" I muttered quietly, and then took off the shirt. I shook it out on to the floor, and a cascade of powder fell out of it.

"Itching powder," I realized, fuming. When I was sure I had gotten rid of the last of the powder from my shirt, I did the same to my pants. I was surprised at the amount that came out. Still scratching at the remnants of the itching stuff, I slid back in to my jeans and walked out of the bathroom.

I stomped out to the main part of the room, pissed off at everything. I discovered a sleepy looking Chloe sitting on the couch, smiling dopily when she saw the direct result of her handiwork. That _bitch_.

"To far Chloe, too freaking far," I muttered under my breath, coming to a standstill, hands clenching and unclenching at my sides. Her only reaction was her smile growing wider, entertained by my anger.

"You're gonna die, bitch!" I screamed as I launched myself at her, hands extended. When I landed straddling her, I attacked her, slapping hard at her face and clawing at the arms raised in defense. She didn't attack me, and as I realized this, my smile grew wider.

"Having fun yet?" I snarled at her, tattooing a bright red mark across her face. Suddenly, Sweet Little Chloe found her inner wildcat, and her fangs and claws came out. Letting lose a feral shriek, she flung herself forward off the couch, scratching my face and knocking both of us to the ground, her on top. I could hear Lauren shouting in the background, but nothing mattered to us but hurting the other as much as she could. I heard her footsteps approaching, but a wild kick from Chloe sent her reeling backwards. She started calling at the room next to us, begging for help from the guys.

Chloe reached down and yanked on a chunk of my hair, and I screeched. I slapped her again and rolled. Now she was beneath me, and I used the opportunity to try the same on her. She didn't like it one bit. Her fingernails raked down the side of my face, splitting it. Screaming, though I felt no pain yet, I curled my fist and made to punch her, but she moved at the last second and my fist rebounded off the carpet. She now sat upright, a ways away, and I sprang at her again.

"Bitch!" I cried, and slapped her hard enough to make her face swing back. She returned her glare to me and backhanded me hard. I recoiled, and she pushed forward, knocking me to the ground. Her attack was a vicious series of slaps and scratches. I turned my head to the side and bit down hard on her wrist, trying to get her off. She yelped and grabbed it, and I rolled out from her death grip. I knocked her down and went in for the kill. I yelled as she kneed my stomach, and reached out for her, and the next thing I knew, I had been lifted off the ground, my arms pinned. I kicked out blindly at the interloper, snarling to get back to my opponent. I noticed that she too had been pulled back, and was now being restrained by Kit. Which meant…

I looked backwards in to the face of Derek Souza, whose girlfriend was the chick that I just beat the crap out of.

"Shit."

Derek POV

I had been sleeping soundly when, not for the first time, I awoke to the sound of a loud, bloodcurdling shriek.

"Goddammit Tori," I muttered, covering my ears with my hands. I sat up in bed and blinked, taking in the new motel room for the first time in the sunlight. As I did, I contemplated the effects of our surprise shower on her, and grinned at the thought. I got out of bed and stretched, and looked over at my father and brother. Still sleeping. Odd how quickly they got used to the screaming thing.

I went to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans, and slipped them on. I was counting on Chloe to get some pictures of this, so I was letting her take the glory on this one. I also didn't really want to be anywhere near Tori right now. I sat down on my bed and decided to wait a couple minutes before going in to see the prank firsthand. As another screech emanated from the room, Kit woke with a start.

"Somebody scream?" he asked almost incoherently, already sliding in to slippers and putting on glasses. I feigned innocence and shrugged.

"Dunno," I told him, grinning to myself. Just then, another shriek was heard.

"Help, help! Kit!" Lauren's voice. The internal grin disappeared, and I was at the door before I realized what had happened. There was fear in her tone, and that was all that had registered with my mind. The door to next door was open and I was in before Kit had taken a step back in the other room. Not that I was there to see.

My mind processed the scene before I consciously realized it, and in the next instant Tori was restrained in my arms, choking and sputtering and clawing to get back at the figure on the floor. One who I instantly recognized as Chloe. I could not feel Tori's weak kicks, only the urge to suddenly squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until… The bitch restrained against me had _attacked_ my Chloe. A low growl reverberated in my chest and shook my body until I vibrated.

**Kill her.**

My inner nature screamed to annihilate the attacker here and now, just for daring to lay a finger on Chloe. As I fought the urge to murder her right on the spot (too many witnesses to kill later), Kit had arrived in the room from a sprint. He picked up Chloe **[Don't touch her.] **and then restrained her. My head twitched to the side, my human part questioning why he was holding her back, the wolf part begging to murder my father too for trying to do that. His mouth moved, and I realized he was speaking.

"What the hell happened?" he yelled over the noise of the two girls trying to get back at each other. Both of them were clawing their restrainers arm, spitting threats at the other. I tightened my grip for a moment, the desire to see more of her blood on the carpet never lessening even for one second. Lauren stepped up at that moment.

"Tori attacked Chloe out of nowhere-," she began, to be interrupted.

"Bull_shit_," she screamed from my arms, emphasizing the curse. "Look what she-"

"Hell no!" Chloe shouted from across the room. "She-"

"Both of you shut up!" Lauren roared, causing all of us to turn our heads. She pointed a finger at Tori, looking like a madwoman. "She is the cause of thi-"

Both Tori and Chloe began shouting at once, and the cacophony of noise that followed was probably audible 10 miles underground.

"Stop!" Kit shouted above all of us. Again, everyone quieted. "Let's figure this out like sane people. First, Derek, loosen your grip on Tori, she's suffocating." Looking down, I noticed that she was indeed gasping for air. I did not release my arm.

"Derek!" Kit's voice was sharp, but I avoided his gaze. It'd be so easy to just…

"Derek, let go of her." I responded instantly to Chloe's voice, dropping my arm and watching Tori fall to the ground, sucking air like a fish put back in to water. I said nothing. I then looked up to Chloe, who gave me a small smile.

Tori hauled herself up and moved far away from me, eyeing me nervously. Lauren walked up and took her by the elbow, and though she fought to yank it away, her grip stayed tight. Kit put down Chloe, who dusted herself off.

"Now please, one at a time. Tori, what happened?"

"Chloe put blue dye in the showerhead and dyed my skin blue. She put a rubber band around the faucet to spray my face. She did something to the soap." Her sentences were terse and clipped, and I was surprised she was coherent enough to relay the information. Her hair was strewn messily across her face, and she was still breathing hard.

"So what did you do?" At this question, Tori smiled.

"I gave her back what she deserved," she told him, a smirk dancing on her face.

"Which was?"

"I kicked her ass."

**Punch hurt rip maim kill-**

I repressed the urges with some difficulty, her smirk and words taunting me in ways that made becoming a murderer look like becoming a saint.

"Chloe, is this true?"

"Yes. Except the part about kicking my ass. Because I'd say _I _kicked _her_ ass." A surge of pride welled up in me at her words, though not completely obliterating the hate, that made me want to hug Chloe. After checking her for broken ribs, of course. Kit sighed again.

"Can you two control yourselves for a moment without us?" The snarls they had been exchanging were answer enough. But one glance at me told him that we'd be fine.

"Keep them from ripping each other's heads off, will you Derek?" Kit asked in a weary tone as he and Lauren headed outside to talk. As they did, I couldn't help but wonder where Simon was. How could he have slept through _that_? But the thought passed quickly as the girls began exchanging words, circling each other.

"-Was so winning, another minute and you'd have been dog food," Tori was taunting Chloe. She retorted right back.

"Another minute and I'd have had to reanimate you so you could follow through on that threat," she sneered. I came between them, the look on my face shutting them up for a moment.

"Both of you," I growled, not needing to finish the sentence. Tori, after her initial shock, recovered quickly, sarcastic tongue whipping right back to slice open something else.

"Guess you need big ol' Derek to step in and save your stupid ass, huh Chloe? That's real brave-" she tried, haughty expression in place, before I took one menacing step towards her. She skittered back, real fear in her eyes, and I met them head on.

"Shut up, Tori," I snapped at her, and she looked off to the side, not meeting my eyes. I huffed and looked back at Chloe.

"Are you okay?" I asked her seriously, all thoughts of Tori now replaced with those of Chloe. I scanned her body, cataloguing her various visible injuries. She too was still breathing hard, and I noted the facial injuries. Scratches, a split lip, what looked like the beginning of a black eye. I was going to pay Tori back for what she had done to Chloe, plus interest. My fists clenched, itching to do it here and now. Chloe noticed, and she looked up at me.

"Don't," she murmured. "She's not worth it."

I had to fight to keep from screaming in frustration. Not worth it? Chloe was worth kicking the shit out of every person on the earth. I just shook my head, oozing contempt for her words. She scowled, and I noticed her flinch slightly when her lip slid across the other.

"Not. Worth. It," she hissed again, eyes flashing. I rolled my own and moved closer. I lifted her arm, feeling to see whether it was broken. Same to the other. I looked up and quietly asked permission to check for broken ribs. She blushed, and agreed, though what she was thinking was possibly the farthest thing from my mind at that moment. I was quick and thorough, and thanked multiple deities that she hadn't had them broken. As said deities knew that I'd give them, and worse, to Tori.

Simon POV

When I woke up at around 1, I noticed that I was in a completely new motel room that I had no memory whatsoever of from that point back. As per usual. I also noticed that the room was completely devoid of live people.

"Sweet," I said to no one, swinging out of bed. I figured that they had gone to get something to eat or whatnot, and left me behind. Hey, at least there was no line for the shower!

I spun in to the bathroom, one hand swinging me around the wall. I set the water to hot and stepped in. I sighed as the hot water hit me. I began washing and shampooing.

When I finished my shower, I stepped out and began drying myself. I wrapped the towel around my waist and went to find some clothes. I opened the closet and… oh God.

My clothes were in the car.

Okay Simon, no big deal, just…

Oh God, I slept in my boxers.

It's cool, just get Derek to…

Oh God, Derek's gone.

"GODDAMMIT!" I yelled to the room, but not loud enough for the neighbors to get pissed off. I paced the room, towel around my midsection, wondering whether that was enough to get flagged for indecent exposure. Probably not if it were a female cop. She'd be too busy staring to write the ticket. Oh yeah…

Focus Simon. Come on, think. Where's Kit's robe… I scoured the room for anything that could vaguely be construed as clothing. I found nothing of use unless I planned on using the sheets to cover myself. And that was likely worse than the towel. It was currently looking like I'd have to venture out in nothing more than my towel.

Alrighty then.

I grabbed Kit's set of car keys (Lauren had another) and headed out the door and down the hallway, hand planted firmly at my hip to keep the towel in place. I made it to the lobby without incident and went outside. I unlocked the trunk and grabbed my case. No way was I changing in the parking lot. I was testing my luck as it was.

I had almost made it to the main entrance when it happened. A car door slammed behind me, and the sounds of several small children accompanied by the parents reached my ears. I picked up my pace, not wanting to scar any little kids before their time with my hot as hell body. My towel had slid down a little without my noticing it, but nothing too bad. However, as I continued walking, the edge of it got caught in the wheel of the suitcase. The towel was pulled away from my body faster than ice melting in hot sunlight.

Cue the screams.

"Mommy! Mommy, naked boy!" one tiny voice called, and I wanted to die.

I had dropped to the floor instinctively, fingernails scrabbling at the concrete, trying to pick up my towel and shield my body with it. My hand covered in the front as I furiously tried to free the towel from the wheel, cheeks burning. I turned around in time to see the husband cover the eyes of his wife and the baby she carried in a baby backpack.

"What the hell you doin', kid?" he screamed at me in a southern accent. Visions of shotguns and death filled my head, and I panicked.

I abandoned my efforts at getting the towel out and picked up the suitcase. I covered myself with it as I sprinted through the lobby, the screams of normal people echoing behind me. Cheeks flaming, buns bared to the world, I raced to the stairwell, not even the person manning the front desk managing to get past their repulsion and demand to know what was going on. I flew up the stairs, tripping on the hard concrete at one point. I got off at my floor and raced down my hall, breathing harsh and labored, suitcase still pressed firmly to my junk. As I reached my room, I realized that I had no key.

"Shit!" I yelled, dancing back and forth with anxiety, wondering what to do. I realized that I'd have to swallow my dignity and knock on the girls' door. Oh God.

Swallowing hard, I knocked on the door to the right. As it opened, I breathed a sigh of relief. Until I realized that I didn't recognize the chick behind it. She was smiling when she opened it, and then she caught sight of my state. Her face contorted with disgust when she looked down. Her mouth opened, and she had started to scream when I grabbed the door and slammed it shut. I raced to the other side and pounded on the door, nearly sobbing.

Wrong side.

When I opened I raced inside, whisking past a pissed-off looking Tori. I hauled ass, literally, to the couch where I could sit and cover myself better. I was breathing hard, and I leaned back against the fabric, closing my eyes.

Tori snickered, then chuckled, then started laughing at me. She doubled over, sputtering, hands on her knees. When she had regained some control, and managed, "What the hell happened to you?" I just sniffed, shaking my head.

"Streaking in Texas is an activity I will never repeat again as long as I live."

Chloe POV

After bathing and cleaning up my various injuries, Derek and I went downstairs. We walked in to the café across the street from the motel and ordered breakfast. Or lunch, depending on your view.

As we waited for our meals to come, I watched Derek. His face, while appearing closed to many normal people, was an open book to me. I leaned in, a frown crossing my face.

"Stop thinking about hurting Tori." He drew his gaze down to me, anger visible in his eyes.

"No."

"It's not a big de-" I tried.

"Yes, it is. She had no right to attack you like that. And she doesn't get to walk away without punishment." There was something scary in his face that I didn't like seeing. I looked away and changed the subject.

"What do you think Kit and Lauren are going to do?" He shrugged one shoulder.

"Dunno. This was the worst prank result we've seen since the war started. Who knows what they're deciding."

At that moment, the waitress brought us our food. We both dug in without another word, each person ravenous.

10 minutes later, we were wiping our mouths and sipping drinks, each person introspective and quiet. I looked out the window to the lobby across the street, hand resting beneath my chin. Then, I saw something and frowned.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing. Derek looked up and frowned too. A red blur was shooting towards the lobby, but not fast enough to disguise the features. It was obvious that there was a streaker in our midst.

"Wait, isn't that-" I suddenly said, brow furrowing.

"Simon," Derek finished for me, a smile breaking out across his face.

Oh God. My supernatural half-brother was running through a motel lobby in Texas with nothing but a suitcase covering his balls.

Most of the lobby was in uproar, patrons demanding to know why in the hell a butt-ass naked, bright red colored dude had dashed through the lobby. I looked to Derek, snickering, and found him to be laughing as well. I shook my head, and burst out in to full-scale laughter. I was still chuckling as I paid the bill and took Derek's hand. We walked over, went to the stairs and headed up.

In the room, we found Simon cowering on the couch, cheeks red like the rest of him, just about sobbing. Tori was cracking up in the corner, but she stopped dead when we walked in. I ignored her and asked Simon what had happened.

"I was-, there was-, I needed-, shotgun-"

"You needed a shotgun?" Derek interjected, stepping forward, eyeing Tori warily. Shaking his head, Simon began his sordid tale of how he lost his towel and was nearly "shot" by a redneck in the lobby.

Derek and I were dying by the end.

"So you-, you ran, all the w-, way up here, with n-, nothing but a suitcase covering your junk, be-, be-, because you had no clothes?" I finally sputtered, still gasping for air, sentence intermingled with short bursts of giggling. Simon nodded sadly, pouting. Derek shook his head, still roaring.

"Better get dressed before Kit gets back, or he's gonna get even pissier," he advised his scantily-clad brother, who nodded remorsefully. He stood, suitcase firmly in place, despite the fact that everyone had covered their eyes. With both hands. Actually, Derek covered his with one hand and mine with the other. So three for me. And it still wasn't enough.

10 minutes later, Simon was sitting on the couch, freshly clothed. Only, every piece of his clothing was dyed pink. A fact that did not escape his attention. In addition, he was scratching at his body, though it didn't seem to be bugging him much. Maybe we hadn't put as much powder in that particular outfit. But now, his more obvious physical alteration was at center stage.

"You dyed him red too?" Tori shrieked when he came back out. Had she not noticed before?

"You dyed me red?" Simon shouted, also noticing for the first time. I shook my head sadly. For the love of…

"Wait- Tori, you're blue!" As he realized this, Simon literally began rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Derek and I couldn't help but chuckle, but Tori looked like she wanted to strangle Simon.

"Did you just notice, shit-for-brains?" she screamed, hands forming in to claws at her sides. She threw a knock-back spell at him, forcing him against the wall, but it was ineffectual on the volume and intensity of his laughter. At this, Derek stepped forward, arms out to restrain her. But she was having none of this.

She yelled, hands raising to block him. Then, presumably, she performed a bit of instinctive magic. Her hands made a sharp downward motion, and at the same time, Derek's pants dropped. Now, I didn't complain at this, but then she did another knock-back spell. Derek, legs all caught up in his pants, tripped backwards, baring his lovely Buzz Lightyear boxers to the world.

Me being me, I had to grip the wall to keep from falling over with laughter. I mean, seriously. Who owns Buzz Lightyear undies?

Kit and Lauren chose that inopportune moment to appear from wherever the hell it was that they had been. They came in through the door, faces grim, when they happened upon the scene in the main room: Simon ROFL'ing in the corner, body dyed red; Derek on his back like an overturned beatle, Buzz Lightyear underwear very publicly displayed to all of us; me hanging on to the wall for dear life, trying my best not to die from laughter; and Tori in the center of the room, madwoman face on, palms practically smoking and general appearance terrifying.

Kit cleared his throat loudly.

All noise ceased, and Simon and Derek both sat up. Simon looked at Derek, and snickered.

"Nice threads, bro." Derek scowled.

"Nice tan, bro," he shot right back. Derek adjusted his pants and stood, and Simon too crawled to his feet. I pushed myself back up on the wall, and Tori made an attempt to right her expression. We all stared down at the adults, somehow every one of us coming to the same conclusion at the same time. We weren't going to like what their idea for a punishment was.

They motioned for us to sit down on the couch, and as we did, they came and stood in front of us, arms crossed. Then, the lecture began. What followed was something along these lines:

"Blah blah fight blah Tori blah Chloe blah blah Simon blah blah blah Derek blah blah pranking war blah blah long enough blah ending…

"What?" Simon asked loudly, interrupting the shared speech. They both looked at him in all his fiery red glory, as he asked them to repeat themselves.

"We've decided that we're going to put an end to this ridiculous pranking war. It has gone on long enough, and Lauren and I are fed up with it. The girls were both seriously injured this morning, and we refuse to have you all fighting amongst each other for something as stupid as this. From this point onward…

NO. MORE. PRANKING."

* * *

**Le-gasp! Do my eyes detect a… cliffie? Well, worry not, as a super special awesome holiday edition may come within the week that will clear all this up… if you all cooperate. As in… if you guys review XD so anyways...**

**Little do the shower-dye prankees know that their reactions are actually quite similar to Chloe's original prank on Derek XD**

**Yes, I know half of you will go back and check.**

**And dang, has it really been 2.5 months? Shit guys, I'm sorry. Didn't mean for the break to go on that long :(**

**You know the irony of this? Tori and Simon got dyed red and blue, and the day after I wrote this, my pen exploded red ink on my hands. The teacher's offer of hand sanitizer only made it worse. She made me go to the bathroom & attempt to wash it off, but even then, it still looked like I was part demon or wearing bright red gloves or something. XD good times… (I got pictures :D)**

**So, erm, review in the spirit of the holiday season?**


	15. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Jingle Bombs - Achmed the Dead Terrorist.**

* * *

Simon POV

"So from this point onward, no more pranking."

As one might expect, the words of Kit fell in to complete silence, like a brick hitting water and sinking deep, deep down. All four of us sat with our mouths agape, unable to comprehend what he was saying. It was like asking for us to stop breathing, or chop off our own arms or something. It literally seemed impossible.

"But, but-" Tori began mumbling, and Lauren cut her off, anger visible in her eyes.

"No buts. This is our final decision. You all are just going to have to find a new way to entertain yourselves." I looked over and found Chloe on the verge of tears, looking as though she were considering how far a full-out temper tantrum could take her. Lauren noticed, and her face softened. She reached out a hand to Chloe, as if to comfort her, but she jerked out of her reach. She stood and sprinted to the door. She wrenched it open and disappeared behind it. All of us wanted to follow her, I could feel it, but no one seemed to be able to summon the energy to.

"You might wanna get her and calm her down before she 'accidentally' raises something to come after you both," Tori told them sassily, a bite in her voice. She too stood, and then proceeded to flip both of the adults off. They both gasped and outraged, began to object, but she was at the door and then outside it before they had the chance to call her back.

"And then there were 2," I muttered to myself, wondering which of us would leave first. Derek's face was stormy, and I got the feeling that he was gonna go first to find Chloe and then find a place to Change. Sighing, I placed a hand to my face, covering my eyes. A moment later, I felt the couch shift and Derek get up. I peeked through my hand to see what he said or did. He simply shook his head.

"You're really going to regret this," he told them both, tone devoid of the respect that he usually spoke to them with, not bothering to defer to the people who were about to make his life hell. He stomped to the door, and I could already picture his tail flicking back and forth agitatedly. He threw open the door and slammed it shut behind him, making the lone picture on the wall rattle like thunder. As he vacated the room, Kit and Lauren's attention turned to me, wondering what I was going to do next. I sighed heavily as I got to my feet.

"Well, there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Don't expect any of us back for a while." Despite the fact that I could hear the beginnings of Lauren's protest that we be back by 8, I went to the door. As I opened it, I looked back rather sadly, noted the resigned, but pissed, faces of my guardians. I turned away and closed the door behind me.

Once the door slammed behind me, I sprinted down the hallway. My mind begged me to get the hell out of there, but I didn't want anyone to recognize me from my earlier exploit. I tugged my hat down lower on my face, and pulled the ends of my long sleeve shirt down to cover my hands.

Outside, I didn't hesitate at the crosswalk. I continued running a little ways down, and jay walked when there was a lull in traffic. Across the street, I took a couple turns, memorizing which ones I took so eventually I could get back to the motel.

I finally started walking and taking in my surroundings. I was in a nicer part of the city, which I appreciated as I continued making my way down the street. Respectable businesses lined the streets - no pawn shops or thrift stores as far as I could see.

I continued walking, not taking many turns, before I came across a large park. I decided to walk in there. I noted a small, man-made lake off to my right, and a small forest creating a barrier on the left. I headed towards the center, keeping to the path and heading towards a bench I saw.

I sat down on the bench and hunched over, putting my head in to my hands. It faced the lake, which reflected the early afternoon sun in all directions.

I tried as hard as I could not to think, and instead to enjoy the relative peace and quiet. Because God knew the retaliation for the pranking ban would be anything but quiet.

Lauren POV

I turned to Kit, a frown on my face. Simon had been the last of the group to walk out, as Kit had predicted they would.

"I don't like the idea of them being out all night, what with the Edison Group-" Kit cut me off with a hand held up.

"They'll be fine, they're big kids. But they need to understand that their pranking was just getting out of hand."

I frowned again, but didn't object. I sighed and sat down on the recently vacated couch. Kit sat next to me and leaned back.

"Well," he said, "on the bright side, Christmas is just around the corner." I nodded.

"Mmmhmm. Only a couple of days now. Really crept up on us this year." I sighed as I remembered previous Christmases with Chloe and her father. All the memories had a happy glow to them, seeming warm and cozy. Kit looked at me.

"I know that seeing as we're on the run and all, it doesn't seem like this year's Christmas can really be happy, but I think with a little effort it can be." Kit's words gave me an idea, and I didn't hesitate to tell him.

"True, and you know how we can make it happy for ourselves, in addition to punishing the kids?" At his head shake, I finished my idea.

"We can prank the kids ourselves!" I stood and my hands shot up in the air as a grin broke out on my face. "It'd be perfect! We get to laugh ourselves silly over their reactions, the kids are suitably punished, and everything is perfect!" My plan seemed foolproof, but Kit frowned.

"But wouldn't that just incite a wave of pranks against us, once the idea that pranking is good is reinforced by us?"

I deflated and sat back down.

"True."

"But," Kit said, a smile coming over his face, "not if we just act totally clueless while administering said prank. Then, the kids will still be punished, we still get our laughs, and the idea that pranking is bad is not reinforced!"

"You're a genius!" I exclaimed, hugging him. I quickly pulled back, blushing, as I realized what I had done. He looked down, turning red too, as I looked away.

Awkward…

"Anyways, what did you have in mind for the prank?" he asked a moment later. I seized the opportunity at a change of subject.

"Well, I do have lots of embarrassing photos of Chloe when she was younger…" I let my sentence trail off as Kit began grinning.

"Same with Derek and Simon. And no doubt I can find some of Tori in the Edison group files that I saved on my computer!"

"Perfect!" I exclaimed, hi-fiving him. "Let's get to work!"

Tori POV

We were going Christmas shopping. Yay.

Despite the fact that the stores would be cleaned out of anything good, all of us were still going to attempt to find something for everyone else. Because apparently…

"It's all in the holiday spirit!" Lauren chimed as she dumped an armful of clothes in to our already full shopping cart. I scowled and sighed huffily at this. She shot me a murderous look.

"Tori, we are Christmas shopping as a family, and you will enjoy it!" she told me, and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure, fine, whatever," I muttered back, and she looked away.

"Derek, look at this!" Kit called excitedly, indicating a Star Wars play set that a 5 year old kid was enviously eyeing. Derek looked over, winced, and then said, "Yeah, cool dad…" in a tiny voice, trying not to hurt his feelings. Kit chuckled, shaking his head.

"But you used to love Star Wars! I have pictures of you when you were 4 years old, playing with your little Yoda action figure!" At this, he yanked out his wallet and fiddled around in it for a moment, finally procuring a small picture. He held it up for Derek to see, and then Simon peered over. He snickered as Derek's ears turned red.

"Manly, bro. Real manly. Just ruined your image." At Derek began sputtering, I looked over, interested by the fact that I had never before seen Derek flustered by anything.

The picture proved hilarious. It was indeed Derek, looking about 6, sitting on the floor, surrounded by toys. But on closer inspection, I realized that they were not only Star Wars action figures, but also… My Little Ponies?

Derek was holding in one hand a Yoda action figure, and in the other, a Pinkie Pie pony. His smile was huge as he attempted to make Yoda ride the pony. You had yourself a picture that we'd laugh at for years to come.

"Kit, put it away," Derek hissed, attempting to cover the photo with his hands, though it was much too late for that. I was already roaring with laughter, and this attracted the attention of Chloe. As she looked at it, I could almost hear her thinking, _this is the guy who I'm dating_? By now, we were causing quite a disruption in the aisle, what with the small horde of maniacally laughing people clogging the small walkway.

Finally, after looking lovingly at the picture, Kit put it back in his wallet, only to have another fall out.

"Oh, look Simon! It's one of you!" Simon peered over, and then turned beet red.

"No dad, gah, put it away!" I looked over at the same time Chloe and Derek did.

At first glance, it was one of those naked baby pictures, and I turned away, not wanting to see that. But as my companions began laughing, I looked over again.

It was Simon sitting on the floor, privates tastefully covered with a white blanket. But the funny part was how apparently, the photographer had confused him for a girl. At his side was a pink stuffed bunny rabbit. Simon was smiling openly at it, little baby mind doubtless overjoyed at seeing the epitome of fluffy-pinkness.

Most guys had a ball to represent masculinity or some shit. Not Simon. He had a pink bunny rabbit.

"Oh God Simon, this explains so much!" I yelled as I held on to the wall to keep from falling. My laughter rang out along with Chloe's and Derek's, as Simon yelled at Kit.

"That was a mistake! The photographer messed up-"

"No, the photographer got it exactly right," Derek told him, which drew another round of laughter. Simon, mortified, walked out of the aisle, face burning. Kit finally put the picture back in his wallet, and we were still chuckling as we finished in the store and paid for our purchases.

We walked out in to the main part of the mall, which was all decorated for the holidays. Cheery Christmas music blasted through the speakers, and we looked in to store windows for anything good.

"Let's go to Victoria's Secret," I told Chloe, grabbing her elbow and pulling her towards the store. She motioned to Lauren that we were leaving, and Lauren nodded with pursed, disapproving lips. We walked in to the store, leaving the others behind.

I looked around, sizing up bras, debating what to get. Chloe looked around and sighed.

"What?" I asked her, and she looked at me.

"I don't wear any of this stuff, Tori," she told me, and I sighed. Despite the fact that my skin still had a faint blue tinge to it from her oh so _thoughtful_ prank, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I mean, her only living female relative was her aunt, and from what I could tell, she was the prudiest of all prudes.

"Chloe, it's time you did. No more baggy cotton undies for you. Time to become a big girl."

"I'm scared," she whispered as I took her hand and led her to the back. 15 pairs of panties and 5 bras later, Chloe's undergarment wardrobe had been updated, as it had very much needed to be.

"Merry Christmas," I told her, taking out my own debit card. She thanked me, and then turned away. As I completed my transaction, I heard her giggle. I turned around, and she was looking at negligees.

"Nothing to giggle at over there, sweetie," I told her, worrying a bit for her mental health. She shook her head.

"Nah, I was just imagining a pran-" Her eyes widened as she caught herself before she said the word.

"A what?" I asked deliberately as the cashier handed me my bags.

"A prank," she finished, grin spreading. I walked over and looked at the nightwear as she explained.

"What if we bought one of these, addressed it to Lauren, and put that it's from Kit?" she asked, and I laughed out loud.

"Their reactions will be priceless," I agreed, already going through the rack. "Find the skimpiest one you can," I told her, and she nodded, searching as well. Finally, our search yielded the best result.

"Found it!" Chloe exclaimed, holding up the sheerest piece of fabric on the rack. It was black, lacy, and not much else.

"Perfect," I told her, grabbing it. We went to the register and paid for it. At my excited look, the cashier leaned in as she wrapped it.

"Excited to try it on for Blondie over there?" she asked with a wink. As I caught her meaning, I did a double take back to Chloe, who was rocking back and forth on her heels, looking innocent. I suppressed a gag.

"Nope, don't swing that way," I squeaked, fighting to keep my lunch inside me. Shrugging easily, smiling slightly, the cashier handed me my bag. I walked back outside with Chloe tagging at my heels.

"What'd she say?" she asked me, and I found myself suddenly annoyed by her.

"Nothing," I snapped, and shoved the bag at her. I hiked the bags containing her Christmas gift from me higher on my arm and went to find the others.

Chloe POV

After Victoria's Secret with Tori, we caught up with the rest of them easily. They were just coming out of JC Penney, Lauren looking enthusiastic, and the rest looking dejected.

"What'd she do?" I whispered to Derek, who looked down at me.

"What didn't she do?" he asked sadly, not answering my question. Instead, he diverted me with another question.

"What's in the bag?" he asked, indicating the pink striped bag on my arm. I blushed, and played coy.

"Nothing," I told him, and let his imagination do the rest.

As we walked around, looking for other stores to hit up, we came across a mall Santa. Lauren exclaimed excitedly over him (did someone OD on Prozac this morning?). She forced us to wait in a long ass line to have our picture taken. Kit did not object.

"But why?" I asked for the hundredth time, not at all willing to go sit on some pervert's lap so Lauren can get her jollies.

"Because you'll look cute! Oh, Chloe, you used to love sitting on Santa's lap and telling him what you want for Christmas! Look at this picture!" She too took out her wallet and fished out a picture from God knows how long ago. She held it up for me to see, and I flinched.

"Lauren, I don't look at all happy to see Santa! Why do you even have this picture?"

It was an old picture of me sitting on a mall Santa's lap when I was about 5. I do not look cute in it. In fact, I'm screaming my head off and I look like I'm trying to give myself a stroke. And it's working.

Derek leaned over, and I yelled, "Don't look!" Of course, as expected, that just made him even me interested. He took it from Lauren and inspected it. Then he began choking on laughter that he tried to hide. Simon snagged it from his hand as I began berating him.

"It's not funny! I was terrified! He sounded weird and smelled like garlic and I didn't wanna go in the first place!" He burst out in to full scale laughing as Simon commented on it.

"Chloe, you look constipated or something. I didn't even know mouths could stretch that big!" My shriek was muffled as I went to snatch the thing away from him, but he passed it to Tori before I could reach it.

And so my picture was passed around our group, and kept them laughing as we edged closer to the front. Finally, it was our turn, and as the adults ushered us all up to go sit with Santa, the grins disappeared.

Simon and Derek backed up, leaving the girls to go first. Rolling her eyes, Tori pushed me ahead. I took a step forward, looking at Santa in all his enormous red glory. Really, it was just a normal teenager, trying to earn a couple extra bucks, but I saw the old, nasty-smelling Santa from my memory. I skittered forward and sat on the very edge of his knee. He smiled at me, but my mind painted a leer over his grin.

"What do you want for Christmas this year, little girl?" he asked jovially, and all I could see was the other Santa. _Be brave_, I tried to think to myself, but it didn't work. As he leaned a bit closer for the picture, my skin crawled. I imagined the scent of garlic. Oh God.

The picture came out with me a slight blur, dashing out of the chair, eyes screwed shut, mouth open in a scream, hands stretched straight out in front of me as Santa smiled all alone in the chair. One for the yearbook, alright.

"Save me!" I cried, and skidded right in to Derek, who caught me. The Santa was looking confused, head cocked to the side as he tried to figure out why I had run. Shaking, I hid my face in Derek's sweatshirt.

Tori went next, and when she sat on his lap, she liked what she saw. Her feline smile proved that. When he gave her the customary "What do you want for Christmas?" line, she smiled sexily. She leaned down and whispered something in his ear, and he turned bright red. He was still blushing in the picture, and Tori was smiling like the cat who'd gotten the canary. She slid off him as he smiled at her, and she winked back.

Next, to kill the mood, came Derek. He stomped over, looking back to Kit, who nodded.

Sighing resignedly, Derek stood next to the Santa. Kit shook his head, and pointed to the Santa, who looked terrified. The Santa shook his head, but Kit pretended not to notice. He smiled widely as Derek perched on the edge of Santa's knee, holding all his own weight, looking murderous. Several girls standing in line giggled at him, and he gritted his teeth as the picture was taken.

Simon was last. Despite his obvious sexuality confusion (**AN: What? What sexuality confusion? Simon's not confused, no way! Why would you suggest that?)**, Simon definitely did not look pleased at having to sit on the lap of someone his own age and gender. For that matter, neither did the other guy. Simon's halfhearted smile and general attitude proved that. A shame though, that he wasn't playing the other way, if only for the camera.

"Do a group picture!" Lauren called, hoisting up her camera. We all looked at each other in disbelief, but she insisted. The guys stood on the side of Santa's chair, I perched on one arm, and Tori reclaimed her seat on his lap. Lauren held up the camera, smiling, and shot the picture. I hopped off as quickly as I could, and the guys walked away. But Tori stayed where she was.

"Tori come on- Tori! Wha-" I gasped, shocked, as I noticed where her face was: glued to Santa's. Cue the gasps of the soccer moms in line. I walked forward and grabbed her arm, and she reluctantly came away.

"Bye," she murmured to Santa, who smiled in response.

"Bye," he told her.

"Yeah, bye is right," I told Tori, who looked at me as if noticing me for the first time.

"Hmmm?" she asked me.

"That's not what Santa does," I told her, and she pouted.

"Yes it is," she told me.

"Sure, fine, whatever."

Derek POV

When we finally got back to the hotel room, after an exhausting afternoon shopping at the mall, all I wanted to do was haul ass in to bed and sleep for days. No, of course I couldn't do that, silly me.

"We're making cookies!" Lauren announced, setting her bags on the bed. I sighed.

"We don't have an-"

"I bought a little oven on clearance! I got a cookbook and ingredients too!" Lauren exclaimed.

"Good God, she thought of everything," I muttered to myself. As she got the baking ingredients out, she turned to Chloe.

"Hon, can you get the oven out? It's in a box over there," she said. Chloe nodded and got it out. It was big enough to fit a tray of cookies in, but small enough to barely be deemed "portable." She put it on the counter and plugged it in. Lauren dragged out a mixing bowl, half priced, and set it on the table. She and Chloe unpacked the rest of the ingredients, and then Tori was called to help. As they flipped through the recipes, they hit a flaw.

"Oh, I forgot the cocoa powder! Derek, can you please run to the store and pick up some cocoa powder?" I had nearly fallen asleep in my chair when Lauren yelled that to me. Grunting, I stood. I checked that my wallet was still on me, grabbed a room key, and went out. My father and Simon were nowhere to be found.

I walked to the store and found what she was looking for. I ran it through the self-checkout and bagged it. I walked back to the room slower, not really wanting to go back in the crazed atmosphere that Lauren was creating. Dusk was falling, and Christmas lights were starting to come on. Houses and businesses glowed with florescent lights, and some even had little scenes set up in their front yards. I passed by one who was running a CD with Christmas music, which floated out over their yard and in to the street.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year," warbled some voices out of the stereo, and I couldn't help but agree. All the lights, people coming home to their families, having fun…

I sighed to myself and walked in to the parking lot of the motel. Up the stairs, down the hall, reach the door, key in the slot, and…

Laughter. Cheer. Playfulness. I couldn't help but smile, feeling a little sentimental. I suddenly felt grateful for my family, however mismatched and dysfunctional we could be at times. Family - they really do know how to make you feel loved and whatnot.

I looked at the scene, all of them sitting at the table, laughing, talking, pouring over something on the table. I walked over and looked at it, and the warm, fuzzy feeling disappeared.

They were looking at my baby pictures.

"What the hell?" I yelled, and they all turned to look at me. Their shocked expressions lasted only a moment before they all started cracking up. I looked down at the photo album, and cringed at the photos on the table.

"Aw, come on, why are you looking at those?" I pleaded, and then looked at Kit. He shrugged and smiled at me, and turned back to the pictures. I snatched it off the table.

"Get back to making cookies. Here's your cocoa." I shoved the bag at Lauren and retreated in to the bedroom part of the room. There, I went in to the closet and shoved the book at the very bottom of my suitcase. Stupid father, having those stupid photos laying around…

I decided to sit on the bed and stew for a while. But the stewing didn't last long. Chloe came in a moment later, still chuckling a little. She sat next to me and looked at me.

"I need your help with something," she told me, and I sighed.

"What is it?" I asked. She fidgeted nervously, and bit her lip.

"Well, I'd be asking you to break the pranking ban," she whispered, and I smiled.

"Okay, I'm in. What do you need?"

"A prank involving cookies," she declared. I snorted.

"That's easy." I described the explosive cookie prank to her, and she giggled.

"Perfect! So just switch baking soda with baking powder in the lemon drizzled cookies?"

"Yup. Instant bang," I promised. She smiled and kissed me.

"Thank you, Derek."

"Anytime."

Simon POV

Later, after dinner, the girls announced that there would be cookies for dessert. Omnomnom.

Lauren set down a platter of chocolate chip cookies, from which each of us sampled. We all nodded approvingly in turn. Next came Tori. She had a bunch of sugar cookies. Lauren looked on proudly, at least until she saw how Tori had decorated them. A skull and crossbones made from purple and black sprinkles was imprinted on each cookie. Finally came Chloe.

She set her platter down on the table, and then invited each person to drizzle some lemon icing on their cookie. Each person took a cookie and did as she said. Then, the cookies began popping.

"What the hell?" Tori exclaimed as her cookie jumped out of her hand. She flinched hugely, and fell backwards in to Lauren. Lauren squealed as she did this, and then jumped a foot in the air as her own cookie exploded. I looked down at my own cookie, and then shouted as it committed suicide via fall to its death. All eyes flew to Chloe.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened!" she sobbed, and Lauren put an arm around her.

"It's okay, sweetie. It happens." Before Tori could ask what other times it "happens," Kit cleared his throat.

"Well, seeing as Christmas is the day after tomorrow, I think we should get started on wrapping, eh?" Everyone nodded, thinking about whose gifts they had to wrap. But Kit wasn't done.

"And I know, seeing as we're in a motel room, that we can't get a Christmas tree, as it's just too impractical to take with us." Everybody sighed audibly, saddened by the thought of a Christmas without a tree.

As we all departed to work on wrapping gifts, I realized that I had no wrapping paper. I walked over to ask Derek for some, and he generously provided me with a roll he'd bought.

"Thanks a ton, bro." I went back to my pile of presents. I grabbed the first box. It held a basketball for Derek, because I knew he missed how we used to play together all the time. I grabbed some wrapping paper and unrolled some of it on the floor. I set the box in the center and cut a square of paper. I attempted to fold the edges up and over, but they wouldn't reach any way I tried. I huffed in frustration. I looked across the room, where Tori was wrapping in the corner. Kit, Lauren, and Chloe were in the other room.

Tori's pile of wrapped presents was huge and perfect. All the edges were creased perfectly, and the paper was smooth on all sides. I looked back to my present, whose paper was crinkled and ill-fitting. Sighing, I cut a larger piece of paper. I wasn't gonna swallow my pride and ask her for help. I could do bad all by myself.

When I woke up the next morning, I immediately sat up. It was Christmas Eve. I checked the clock and discovered that it was 10. The others were already up.

Lauren was organizing a Christmas dinner with the girls and Kit. Derek was AWOL. I slunk out the door, and no one noticed. I went out and bought one last present for someone I'd forgotten about yesterday. Or rather, someone whose gift I couldn't buy yesterday.

When I came back inside, I discovered the group peering at something on the table. I figured it was a cookbook, until I heard their laughter.

"Oh, look at this one! He looks totally stoned!" Tori's voice was audible above all others, thick with amusement. I peered over her shoulder and saw what they were looking at.

"Hey! Quit looking at my baby pictures!" Chloe looked up.

"Aw, but Simon, you looked so cute!" she protested, and I shouted in frustration.

"No! Stop it!" I reached down and grabbed the album and hugged it to my chest.

"Kit, why'd you drag this out?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Lauren asked to see them, because she asked what we did for Christmas before. I figured pictures were the best way to show her. Sorry if you're embarrassed." But he didn't look sorry at all. I huffed and turned my back on him.

I went in to my room and buried the photo album underneath everything in my suitcase, praying that it would never see the light of day again.

As the day wore on, people began putting all their presents in the corner of the room. I added mine to the pile too, putting my last gift carefully inside a bag. Couldn't have it getting smashed.

At around 8 o' clock, Kit dropped a bombshell.

"We're going caroling!" he announced to general groans. He shook a mock stern finger at us.

"No buts. We're going and that's final."

And so it was. We marched around town, going to houses and ringing their doorbells. When they answered, we immediately burst in to song. Some people smiled, some looked like they were thinking, _how long is this going to take?_, and some people just didn't answer.

Derek was carrying the bass in the back, while Kit and I took baritone. Lauren and Tori sang duet on the alto, and Chloe sang the soprano melody. Despite the fact that on occasion, Tori changed the words around to not-so-polite ones, or that Kit mumbled some songs, not knowing the words, or that it was actually really cold outside, and we were probably killing some people's heating bills, we actually had fun. We were smiling most of the time, happy to be together and singing annoying the crap out of strangers. I enjoyed myself.

Back home, Lauren made everybody a glass of hot cocoa, and we sat around drinking and relaxing. Soon enough, it was time for bed, and we were all ushered out of the room. Derek and Chloe went off in some corner (doubtless where the sprig of mistletoe was hanging), Tori went off in her direction, and I changed in to pajamas.

As I climbed in to bed, I thought about how Santa would be visiting us tonight. I grinned in anticipation, and I couldn't wait to see what he brought me. I knew that everyone was exchanging gifts the next day, all bought by each other, but there would also be Santa's gifts. I really hoped he brought me what I wanted.

I soon drifted off to sleep, beyond excited for the coming morning.

Chloe POV

As I awoke the next morning, I heard rustling next to me. I looked over at Tori on her bed, and discovered the source of the rustling. She turned over and caught my eye.

"What time is it?" she asked quietly, and I checked the clock.

"6. You wanna go?" She nodded, and we left our beds. I put on my slippers, and she her robe. We crept in to the guys room, and discovered that Derek and Simon were already up and sitting on the couch. We grinned at each other, and headed to the corner.

"Wait," Simon murmured as we neared the enormous pile.

"What?" we all asked him, anxious to open our presents.

"Shouldn't we wake up Kit and Lauren first?" he asked, and we sighed resignedly.

"Guess we should. Chloe, get Lauren, I'll get Kit," Derek told me, and I did as I was told. In the next room, I woke up Lauren by shaking her shoulder gently.

"Aunt Lauren, wake up. It's Christmas!" I was unable to keep the smile off my face, and when she finally opened her eyes, I grinned even wider. I handed her robe to her and we walked back over together. Kit was just waking up as we walked in.

"Can we open our presents now?" we chorused, and smiling at each other, the adults agreed. We tore in to the pile, excited 5 year old little kids once again. We handed each other bags that had the corresponding names on them, and searched desperately for our own names. When the pile was finally sorted, we all began opening presents. Kit had his camera and photographed our faces as we saw what was inside.

"Yes! The collector's edition of the Saw series! Thank you, Aunt Lauren!" I exclaimed, getting up to hug her.

"Nice, Simon! I've been wanting to play basketball again forever!" Derek fist pounded Simon as he tore away the paper for a square box.

"Chloe, this is great! Thanks so much!" Tori smiled widely at me as she unwrapped her makeup kit with all her favorite brands.

"Lauren, thank you! I love this color!" Kit said, holding up a navy blue dress shirt. She smiled back at him.

Soon enough, all the presents had been opened except for one. Lauren smiled as she was handed one last bag. Then she noticed the label.

"To Lauren, from Kit," she read off the pink striped bag. Kit's eyebrows creased in confusion as he realized that he hadn't gotten her that. He opened his mouth to say something as she pulled it out. She gasped as the lacy black negligee was uncovered.

All four of us kids started laughing as she got up and slapped Kit across the face with it. He protested, saying that he had no idea where that had come from. She didn't listen, but continued slapping him. He got up and backed across the room, hands held in front of him, trying to reason with her.

"Merry Christmas, everyone," I said, sighing, as I leaned back in to Derek. And what a merry Christmas it was.

* * *

**Credits to:**

**Suzi1811, for the embarrassing pictures idea. Great job, girlie :D**

**Elf, the movie, for the negligee idea. Hilarious movie XD**

**Drake & Josh Christmas movie for the Santa idea. A freaking awesome movie.**

**Suite Life of Zach and Cody, for the exploding cookie idea. Funny episode XD**

**Myself, for everything else. ^-^**

**Hehe, Derek being all mushy gushy over his family. Awww :3**

**Yes, Simon still believes in Santa. Hey - you stop believing, and you stop receiving.**

**Thank you everyone for all the support I've received. Seriously. Now you all go out and have a merry Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, have a happy Hanukah, or a joyful Kwanza, etc. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**Over and out, people :D**


	16. New House, New Start Same Old Pranks

**A new chapter. Dudes, I am as freaking shocked as you are.**

**Natives - blink-182**

* * *

Chloe POV

"We're moving!" Kit's voice rang out cheerfully in the cramped motel room. All heads snapped up, all ears craned towards the source, straining to hear more. Everyone was in there, all previously focused on their own tasks.

"What?" Tori voiced harshly, her tone demanding immediate clarification.

"I said, we're moving!" Kit declared again.

"And this something to shout about," she said sarcastically.

"Well, we're not just moving," Kit said enthusiastically.

"Oh?" Simon called from another end of the room.

"We're getting a permanent residence!" he exclaimed.

"Oh dear god," I said to myself, closing my eyes and putting my hand to my face, imagining the kind of havoc we'd wreak on a permanent home. I looked up and met Derek's eyes, and saw that he was thinking the same thing. The kind of shit we'd put the adults through…

"Pack your bags, everybody. For the last time!" Kit called in happiness. I stood up from where I'd been sitting against the sofa. I stretched briefly, and then walked over to the closet. Tori had beaten me to it, and she was already taking down all her clothes and her suitcase. I worked around her, making sure that I got every last bit of my stuff down.

I tossed it all on to the bed that Simon had previously occupied, and dragged my suitcase out from the corner. I stuffed everything in there, not that there was really much. When I zipped it shut, I plopped on top of it and observed the remaining occupants of the room.

The guys had all left for their room next door, leaving the girls alone in here. Aunt Lauren was working on her own stuff, though she had kept most of it inside her suitcase, leaving her with little to do. Tori, somehow managing to have a seemingly enormous array of clothing, despite our situation, was appraising her sole suitcase contemptuously, doubting its ability to retain her collection. Rolling my eyes, I left the room and knocked on the guy's door.

When Derek answered, I grinned internally. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to my level.

"Done packing yet?" I murmured in his ear, to which he nodded almost frantically. I smiled.

"Meet me in the lounge in 5 minutes." I released his shirt, and for all his grace, he nearly stumbled backwards, shutting the door as he went.

I exited the hallway and flew down the stairs, and followed the yellowing plastic placard's arrow indicating the lounge. It was currently vacated, thankfully. There were some chairs arranged around tables, and I picked one at the farthest corner from the door. This meeting, despite our horny teenage minds, was going to be business only, or so I intended.

When Derek finally arrived, I had been waiting a total of 3 and a half minutes. He scanned the room quickly and made his way over to me, wasting no time. I hopped down from my perch on the table. When he bent over to try and kiss me, I put a hand on his chest, stopping him. He gave me a reproachful look, and I had to hide my smile.

"Just business. We don't have a ton of time." He then took his seat in his chair, and I, mine. "Alright. I officially call this meeting of SASDOBKA to order. First order of business: the move. So according to Kit, we're moving to a permanent residence, am I right?" Derek nodded dutifully.

"Alright. Did Kit disclose where we're moving?" A headshake from Derek.

"Did Kit disclose where we're getting the money for this move?" A frown, then another headshake from Derek.

"Well then. What do you propose the motive is for this sudden, hastily decided move?" I could see the wheels inside my werewolf's head turning; adding up, computing, analyzing, completing.

"My best guess would be that a sudden event occurred that convinced either one or both of them that a move is necessary. I'd wager that the event occurred in the last 24 hours."

"And what might that event be?" Derek shrugged.

"To be honest, it could be anything from an Edison Group attempt on their lives to them receiving the shopping bill from this past December."

I sighed. Aunt Lauren had been an unstoppable force of nature this past Christmas. I wouldn't be surprised if the bill had been astronomical. Kit probably had to put his wallet on life support.

"Well, moving on to the second order of business: our pranking. How do you predict this move will affect us?" Derek cocked his head to the side, the beginnings of an evil smirk appearing on his face.

"How do _you_ think this move will affect us?" he asked me, a chuckle permeating his voice.

"I think it'll give us the perfect opportunity to give _them_ even more hell," I confided, leaning in close to him from across the table. Derek's smile was reminiscent of the Cheshire cat's.

"That's my girl," he told me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Who said I was your girl?"

"Oh, you're mine. Trust me."

"Why should I trust you?" I asked coyly, looking up at him. His verdant eyes darkened dangerously, and he moved closer.

"I can think of a few reasons," he murmured just before his lips touched mine.

Tori POV

"Can we freaking leave now?!" I yelled from the backseat of the car. Kit and Lauren had been arguing in the front for at least 20 minutes about the best way to reach our destination. She had a map in hand and was tracing a route on it, while Kit was shaking his head vehemently and indicating a route the GPS had shown him.

"Tori, watch your mouth!" Lauren snapped at me, already turning her head back to argue with Kit again. I opened my mouth to add something, but something nudged me from behind. I turned around to see Chloe mouthing the words, _leave it_. I scowled, and was about to turn back around when Chloe added, _she's PMS'ing_. Eyes widening, I nodded quickly and turned back around. Lauren was bad enough even when mother nature wasn't influencing her moods.

Finally, someone won the argument (I think it was Lauren, after she whacked Kit in the head with the map) and the car started. We exited the parking lot and found the freeway. Then the real fun began.

Driving. And driving. And more driving. Even more driving. You get the point. Lots of driving. We passed forests and deserts and mountains and valleys and cities and farms and- shit. You get the point. Again. We stopped a couple times, when Derek's stomach rumbling was audible even over the roar of the engine. It was well in to the evening by the time we stopped for dinner and a rest. Lauren pulled in to a 24 hour diner near a truck stop. Quite honestly, other than the fact that we were somewhere west of Texas, I had no idea where we were.

I got out of the car first, moaning a bit as I stretched my cramped muscles. Simon hopped off the edge of the car, blinking blearily as he took in the scenery. Derek popped the seat forward and let Chloe out first, then swung out himself. We stood in the scarcely lit parking lot for a moment more, then scurried towards the restaurant where Lauren was holding the door open, calling for us to come over.

The adults had picked a large booth in the corner of the room, and we all slid on to the cracked plastic after them. A waitress came by after a minute, snapping her gum loudly and asking for drink orders. When she got them, she walked away, heels clicking sharply on the peeling linoleum.

Heads rested on hands through most of the meal, and Simon and Chloe's eyelids were drooping by the time we finished. I snorted that Derek was going to have to carry the both of them out to the car, and Chloe shot me a venomous, albeit sleepy look.

We trudged out to the car after paying, knowing it was going to be another uncomfortable night in the car. As I opened the door to my prison for the evening, I heard Chloe ask Lauren a question. Lauren murmured something to her, and then called me over. Sighing exasperatedly, I turned.

"Chloe has to use the restroom. Can you go with her?" Lauren asked me.

"She's a big girl, she can go by herself," I responded icily. Lauren glared at me.

"She's not going alone. Now, go." I sighed exaggeratedly, and gestured for Chloe to lead the way.

Her footsteps were quiet on the ground, and I slunk behind her, secretly glad that I didn't have to climb in to that hellhole of a car yet. As we reached the bathroom, Chloe looked behind her surreptitiously, then suddenly grabbed my wrist with surprising strength and yanked me inside, all previous pretense of tiredness now abandoned.

"God, Chloe, what the hell?" I sputtered as she pushed me inside and locked the door. She whirled around and made the _shush_ motion with her hand.

"Look, we don't have much time, so shut up and listen for a minute, okay?" I scowled and opened my mouth, but, surprising me, she slapped her hand over it. "No. Just listen." Eyes wide, I nodded my submission to this newly aggressive Chloe.

"Okay. I don't even need to ask you whether you're good with breaking this stupid ban, right?" I nodded. To be honest, I had forgotten about that thing.

"Fine. I figured that you should know that when we get to our new house, all hell's gonna break loose. I mean, no holding back on the pranking. Derek and I are going full force. I figured you and Simon should know too. Give Lauren and Kit hell, alright?" The urgency in her voice demanded a response from me, so I nodded rapidly, her hand still covering my mouth.

"Good. Glad we cleared that up. Let's go." With that, she turned and unlocked the door, then held it open for me. I walked through, and she let it slam behind me.

I arranged my face in a neutral expression as we walked back, though inside I was reeling at both Chloe's attitude, and the fact that she was actually giving me a fair chance at this, considering all the shit I'd pulled on her this past year. Lauren waved us in to the car, and we found that both Derek and Simon were already half-asleep.

Thus began another long night of sleeping in the car. Kit cracked the windows so we wouldn't die of suffocation, but it still felt stuffy. At first, Chloe and Derek lay in the backseat, cuddled up together, sleeping, but when Lauren noticed, she got her prude on. She indicated for me to shake Chloe's shoulder until she woke up. After a minute, she did, blinking tiredly.

"Get out of the backseat," Lauren told her, and Chloe frowned.

"Why? It's not like we're doing anything-"

"Now," she snapped, point-blank.

"Fine, fine," Chloe muttered, clambering over Derek's sleeping body in to the middle seat. "But there's hardly any room here." Lauren roller her eyes, and then leaned between the divider.

"Simon," Lauren said quietly, reaching back to shake his shoulder. But just before her hand touched him, his brow crinkled, and murmuring sleepily, he rolled over on to his side, just out of her reach. Muttering exasperatedly to herself, Lauren leaned over farther in to the middle seat and tried to shake him again, but again he rolled over. Now he was on his stomach, and a loud snore coming from beneath him indicated that he was completely out, with no hint of a trick going on.

"Ugh! Tori, just get in the back," Lauren told me, fed up with trying to wake Simon

"Ew! Uh, hell no!" I told her. She glared at me.

"Don't use that kind of language. I told you to get in the back, so get in the back!" I looked towards the front, where Kit had been, but I noted that he was gone. Probably for a late night dump. Damn, there went my defense. Giving Lauren the most acidic look I could muster, I swung in to the backseat.

Cringing at my sleeping partner for the evening, I tried to make myself comfortable on the small strip of seat left for me. Chloe was definitely better suited for this. After failing at that, I had no choice but to move on to the floor of the car.

"God, that's disgusting," I muttered, flicking away a fallen piece of bread, now hard as a rock, doubtless from one of the many burgers that had been eaten lately. I rolled over countless times, finding no comfortable spot for my long form to fit. Finally, I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, absolutely sure that I would get no sleep that night.

Sometime later that night, I had no way of telling when, I got frustrated. I needed sleep badly, and that asshat right behind me had the entire seat to himself. I was seriously pissed off.

Sitting up, I noticed that Derek had turned over, and his back now faced the seat. With a bit of maneuvering, I was sure I could squeeze behind him and force my way on to the cushioned seat. Carefully, I climbed over him and wedged my body between his back and the seat. Slowly, he began sliding towards the edge, and finally I felt my side hit the cushion. I gave a silent victory cheer in my mind and closed my eyes, confident that I would finally get some sleep.

Hours later, I felt myself beginning to wake up. I came to slowly, receiving individual senses separately. Hearing came first. I heard Kit and Lauren in the front seat, talking quietly. I heard the engine, and the wind against the car. Next was taste. Morning breath. Yum. Then, scent. My nose crinkled as I sniffed the air. Soap, from clothing, the upholstery, and a slight hint of B.O. After scent, touch. As I regained feeling around my body, I sensed a pressure all along my side and back, along with heat. I frowned lightly; why did I feel that? Then, wait. A light breeze on my shoulder. Okay, time for sight.

I opened my eyes abruptly, and saw the back of the seat. I turned my head slightly back the other way, trying to see what was causing the pressure.

Oh. My. God.

The sleeping face of Derek Souza was nestled in to my shoulder, his body flush against my backside, his arm draped down my side.

I couldn't help it. I screamed.

Chaos erupted in the car. Derek awoke with a snort, saw the position he was in, and scrambled backwards as quickly as he could, gagging and managing an, "Oh, my God!" He tumbled over the seat divider, and fell straight on top of Simon, who awoke with a yell. Kit, when he first heard my scream, reacted with an enormous jerk on the steering wheel. The car swerved violently sideways, caught on the barrier at the edge of the freeway, and spun out. The motion caused Chloe to awake, startled, and Derek, already off balance from his fall, rolled right on top of her. Simon sat up, continuing to yell once he noticed the motion of the car, and grabbed a hold of the headrest on Lauren's seat. I just sat in the backseat, eyes wide open, disbelieving of what was occurring.

"What the hell happened?!" Kit yelled once the car stopped moving. Everyone was now wide awake, looking around, wondering what had happened as well. I continued to sit there, thinking about what had just happened.

I had woken up. I had waited to open my eyes. I felt something. I opened my eyes. I was spooning with Chloe's boyfriend.

I felt an awful churning in my stomach, and suddenly felt dizzy. After another moment, I knew what was about to happen.

"Move it! Out of my way!" I scrambled over the seat divider and wrenched open the door, Simon nearly tumbling out with me. I thanked God that I had picked the door next to the freeway divider, instead of the one that opened in to oncoming traffic. I managed the couple steps to get to the dirt side, hand clapped over my mouth, and then I deposited the contents of my stomach on the ground. I heaved for a couple minutes, unable to rid myself of the feeling of spooning with freaking Souza. Every time my mind conjured an image of his face, I retched again.

I heard someone get out of the car and approach, but I waved them off violently. "Go!" I commanded. I could hear some cars starting to stop and people coming over, trying to see what had happened and if anyone was hurt. When there was nothing left to come up, I straightened out, wiping my face on my t-shirt. Chloe was standing a few meters away, obviously ignoring my previous command. She tossed me a water bottle, and I accepted it gratefully. I rinsed out my mouth and spat on the ground.

"You okay?" she asked, coming over to stand next to me. "What happened?" I just shook my head. Frowning slightly, she guided me back to the car.

I climbed inside again, purposefully avoiding looking at the spawn of Satan now sitting in the middle seat. Lauren was sitting in the front, looking shell shocked, asking the boys if they were okay. Kit was around front, checking the damage on the front fender. As I climbed in behind Chloe, Lauren turned to look at me.

"What happened?" she asked. I frowned.

"Got sick."

"Why did you scream?"

"I, uh, saw a bunny. Trying to cross the road." Lauren frowned at my weak excuse, but didn't comment. I turned my head to face the window as Kit got back in the car.

"We're all good out front. It was just a small dent, thank God." He turned the key in the ignition, and it came to life quickly, rumbling underneath our feet. "All systems are go."

As we continued on our merry little way, I retreated to the farthest corner of the backseat, hugging myself, trying as hard as I could to forget everything that had happened since I woke up.

Chloe POV

When we finally arrived at our destination, we had been driving for what felt like years. As we pulled up to the house, I took in the scenery. Or, moreover, the lack thereof.

"Here we are!" Kit called, waking up anyone in the car who could have possibly been sleeping.

"Why are we in the middle of freaking nowhere?" Tori drawled, sprawled across her seat, a foul look on her face as she lobbed the question at the adults. Lauren didn't even have the energy to give her a reprimanding look, but just said, "Montana." Tori cocked an eyebrow, and snorting, turned to face out the window. The car slowed to a stop in the driveway, and I was the first one out of the stuffy car.

"Thank God, fresh air!" I said as I took in several deep breaths. Some of the people in the car were in serious need of a shower. But then again, we hadn't really been given the opportunity or the luxury. I faced the house apprehensively: I had never seen it before in my life.

"So, whose house is this?" I asked Aunt Lauren, and she smiled tiredly at me.

"The house used to belong to an old friend of mine and his wife, but both were killed in a tragic fire in the barn years ago. I contacted my friend's daughter, and she said it'd be alright for us to stay here for a while.

"What about rent?" I asked her, and she shrugged, smiling.

"She said we could stay for a very small sum of money per month."

Through the next couple of hours, I could see why. The house… was terrible. The indoor plumbing sucked so bad, it was like it almost didn't exist. However, there was a convenient _well _that we could use for… everything else. I felt like I'd been thrown back in to the 1700's. The décor, however, was tastefully 70's, and created a nice atmosphere in the place. Yeah, right. Much to our surprise, however, the home had been fitted with solar panels recently, and being paid off, we had energy at no charge. What we could use that energy for, though, was beyond me. The only thing we paid was the plumbing, as apparently the plot of land had been in the family for almost a century.

"What. The. Frick," Tori declared eloquently, plopping back on the queen bed, sending up a huge cloud of dust as she did so. She and I had unwisely been marked to share a room, considering our history of a strained relationship. I shrugged as I continued to put my stuff away in the closet.

"It's not that bad. I mean, on the bright side, we have electricity."

"No, not that. There's just a huge-ass spider in the corner glaring right at me."

I sighed and continued to unpack. When I had gotten all my stuff put away, I went out and looked for Derek. As I walked around the old, creaky house, I peeked in to cobweb-encrusted rooms and musty, stale-smelling closets. I frowned to myself - when was the last time this house had been inspected? Hell, when was the last time this house had seen Lysol?

I finally found Derek outside, standing in the middle of the weedy, overgrown garden. The wind was cold against my face, and despite the fact that it was 2 in the afternoon, there was frost on the grass. I approached him, knowing he heard me the minute I opened the door to outside.

"What do you think of the house?" I asked him, wrapping my arm around his waist. He raised one shoulder.

"It's okay, I s'pose. But you're never gonna guess what I found out here."

"What?"

"It's this little trail. It leads a ways out in to the woods, and at the end of it there was this clearing. It was the strangest thing- there were a bunch of pieces of wood sticking out of the ground, and they all had _names_ inscribed on them, and-"

"Derek, do you think I don't recognize Stephen King when I hear it?" He caught my eyes at this point and grinned wryly, bending down to kiss my forehead.

"You caught me. Not that I didn't expect you to understand the reference within the first sentence."

"Please. A path in the backyard of an old house, leading out in to the woods in to a cemetery? Hardly the most original plot development ever. King, however, would be proud to hear you use the reference with the wonderful opportunity given to you. But God, did he roll in his grave when they cast that absolute _moron _to play-" Derek stopped me mid-sentence with a hand to my mouth, his eyes widening.

"Did you hear that?" he murmured insistently, to which I rolled my eyes.

"Again, please. I've directed this crap. And, if I may, your grip on me should be more insistent, hinting at the danger to come. But then again, if I were a terrified heroine, I'd be-"

"No, seriously! Did you hear that?" I shut up for a moment, listening carefully. I was about to sigh exasperatedly and continue to tell Derek off, when I heard a faint wailing. I furrowed my brow and cocked my head to the side, listening harder. The noise grew imperceptibly louder, and I shot an alarmed look at Derek. He narrowed his eyes in concentration, listening, waiting…

"BOO!" Simon screamed, jumping on my back. I screamed even louder than him and flipped out, falling on to my face and managing to kick him in the nuts simultaneously.

"Simon, what the hell?!" I screeched, dragging myself forward on my forearms and rolling in to a sitting position. He merely gasped for breath and went prone on the floor, caterpillaring his body as he gripped his doubtless aching crown jewels. Derek just merely shook his head at his idiotic brother. I rolled my eyes, and as I did, I caught sight of Tori hanging halfway out our bedroom window. We locked eyes, and then she quickly disappeared back inside the room, slamming the window shut.

"Found the unearthly wail," I muttered under my breath, climbing to my feet. I nudged Derek, indicating that he should follow me. We left Simon writhing on the floor, ignoring his moans. I paused, realizing something.

"You could hear Simon sneaking up on us the whole time," I accused, eyes narrowing. Derek backpedaled, hands coming up, fighting furiously for speech.

"No, no, I didn't hear him, I couldn't- I mean,"

"DEREK SOUZA, YOU LYING, SCHEMING BASTARD!" I screamed at him, hands curling in to fists at my sides. "YOU CAN JUST GO STRAIGHT TO HELL AND ROT THERE,GODDAMMIT!" I turned and stormed away, heading back inside the house. I passed the kitchen, where Aunt Lauren was beginning to make dinner.

"That's right, you tell him Hun!" she told me proudly.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled at her, heading back up to my room, seething with rage and fickle teenage hormones. I didn't even register her shocked gasp, much less the thump that quickly followed, presumably her hitting the floor in a dead faint.

I walked in to the room I shared with Tori and slammed the door loudly, huffing a sigh and plopping on to my side of the bed.

"I heard you yelling at-"

"YOU SHUT UP TOO!" I screamed at her, but she took no notice.

"Just wanted to let you know that Derek deserved that. I watched Simon sneak up on you from when he first stepped outside."

"But weren't you making that wailing sound?"

"Nope. That was Simon."

"Huh. I totally thought you were in on that."

"Nu uh."

There was a period of silence that was neither awkward nor companionable. It was odd, to say the least.

"You know, I'm pissed enough at Derek and Simon right now that I'm willing to prank them both."

"Is that so?"

I sighed. There was no beating around the bush on this one.

"Do you, you know, wanna do a… prank? With me? Against them?"

Tori sighed and set aside the magazine I hadn't noticed she'd been reading. "Sure, why not. It'd break the monotony. Got any ideas?"

"Actually, yes."

Simon POV

I wandered in to the kitchen around 6 o' clock, hurtin' for some food in my stomach.

"Lauren, what's for-" I stopped dead in my tracks. Upon the table was the most succulent, juicy-looking ham I had ever seen in my entire life. I approached it cautiously, then walked around the counter, examining it from all sides. The sides glistened, and I could see steam rising off of it, indicating that it was fresh out of the oven. I hardly took notice of the other food items on the counter, which seemed dim and tasteless in light of the amazing piece of meat in front of me.

I sniffed delicately over the ham, wafting the scent towards me, absorbing it the way one does a fine wine. It smelled positively divine, as though it were ambrosia. I surreptitiously glanced around the kitchen, ensuring that I was alone. I leaned in very close to the ham, and took a quick lick. The flavor exploded in to my mouth, and I was brought to my knees from the extraordinary flavor of it.

"Mother of God," I murmured, eyes screwed shut, disbelieving that anything could taste as good as that freaking ham. I curled in to a ball, barely restraining myself from pouncing on to the table and devouring that sucker in one enormous gulp.

"Simon, what are you doing?" I heard a voice ask, and I scrambled up from the floor, looking around frantically. I caught sight of Lauren coming in through the connecting door from the dining room. I grinned sheepishly and my hand went to the back of my head.

"Just, uh, checking the floor for ants! Can't have any ants getting to the food in here!"

"Simon, it's the dead of winter."

"Still, what if there were ants? What would happen to the food then? Wow, gee, look at the time, I'm gonna-" I left my sentence in midair, racing out the swinging door and ignoring the strange look Lauren had given me on the way out.

I stopped at the wall next to the stairwell and put a hand to my chest to calm my racing heart. _That was a close one_,I thought to myself, shaking my head to rid myself of anymore sinful ham-related thoughts. _Later_, I consoled my rumbling stomach. _Our time will come, and nobody, including Lauren, will be able to stop us._

Derek POV

To celebrate our moving in to our first permanent (for any length of time) house, Lauren prepared a magnificent dinner of a ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. We commenced our meal at a quarter past 6, gathered around our new "family table," as Kit so eloquently dubbed it. The room was lit by the candles on the table and all around the room, and gave it a very welcoming, happy feel. So, to sum it up, my evening was going great: good food, good atmosphere, just feeling good in general. Ignoring the argument (or rather, 5 second screaming match) I'd had earlier with Chloe, it was a pretty good way to start my first day in the new house.

After dinner, I retired to the room I shared with Simon. He was currently downstairs, enjoying a game of Parcheesi with my father. I reclined on my bed, planning on relaxing with a book for a while. There was no use going to talk to Chloe this soon after fighting: I was fairly certain it was that time of the month again.

I had barely gotten past the first page in a new novel I was anxious to start in on when the door to my room slammed open. I looked up to see Chloe standing in the doorway.

"Derek, I-" she began.

"Hm?" I asked, prompting her to go on. She scowled at me, taking it as an interruption.

"I just wanted to ask you…" Her sentence drifted off, and she just stood there for another minute, hands twisting uneasily in front of her. Her mouth was twisted downwards, and there was an overtone of almost, _nervousness_ in her eyes. I tilted my head to the side, beginning to get concerned for her. I set my book aside and leaned forward.

"Chloe?" I asked, and she jumped, startled out of her silence.

"Oh! Sorry. Erm, I was just, uh, never mind. I, um, I wanted to know whether you had a, a, um, a book." I sat back, now confused.

"You want to know… whether I have a book?" She waved her hands in front of her, shaking her head.

"No, no. Not just any book. A book on, uh, necromancer stuff, that I could, uh, borrow." I nodded cautiously, still curious at her sudden change in attitude.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Why the sudden change in attitude, though?" I asked as I got up, going to my box containing the rather small remnant of the collection of books I'd had before. I looked up in time to catch her grimace.

"Well, I just, uh, I guess I shouldn't have said some of that. I was just kinda pissed, and well, it's that time-"

"Anything on necromancy in particular?" I asked, purposely cutting her off. She looked relieved, but then the anxiousness came back.

"Well, uhm, _ghosts_." The last part was said so quietly that without my werewolf hearing, I'd have been unable to hear her. I cocked my head to the side as I looked at her, eyes narrowing. I handed over the asked-for book, frowning.

"Any reason in particular?"

"Nope, just, uh, normal curiosity stuff kaythanksbye." She was out of the room so fast, only the whirling dust devils left in her wake gave me any indication that she'd been there at all. My brow furrowed even more, and I leaned out of my doorway just in time to see the white of her tennis shoe disappear up the stairwell. I shook my head to myself and laid back down, recommencing the reading of my book, but finding it unable to hold my interest for very long.

Later that night, I was readying myself for bed, selecting the thick flannel pajamas. I could see the beginnings of snow outside and shivered to myself.

"You want the bed tonight, or what?" I asked Simon, who shrugged.

"Bed I guess. You sure you don't just wanna share?" I looked dubiously down at the twin bed in question, and shook my head.

"Nah bro, I'm sure. Night." I flicked off the light switch and made myself comfy on the pile of blankets on the floor. None of the other rooms had been deemed healthy to stay in for more than 30 seconds, let alone overnight, so it was the floor for me that night.

I laid awake for a few hours, unable to get to sleep. I tried counting sheep, not that that ever works, and (not surprisingly) found myself awake after 400. I tried mentally reciting the periodic table, but got stuck after radium. I then attempted to translate the United States Constitution in to French, and was on the second article when I heard a strange noise echo through the house. Eyes closed, I tried to identify the source. It had sounded like it came from above me, and my mind jumped to the girls' room before writing it off: they were doubtless sleeping by now. What else was up there…?

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard a loud _thump_. Maybe they weren't asleep. Silently, I rose from my Derek nest and crept towards the door. I opened it slowly, and when I caught sight of a shape behind it, I jumped backwards, my heart stopping for a moment.

With my night vision, I could see that it was Chloe. I put a hand to my heart and panted for breath, managing a, "Goddammit Chloe, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" She just stood there as I regained composure, a blank look on her face. I leaned in close, aligning our faces.

"Chloe?" I asked, willing her to break the blank stare and look at me. When she did, I wished the opposite. Her gaze was blood chilling, and raised the hairs on the back of my neck. Her luminous blue eyes were huge and watery, bloodshot. She took in a shallow breath, sounding almost like she was holding back a sob. She began to shake her head very slowly, anguished eyes never leaving mine.

"I- I tried, Derek. I, I thought-" She choked, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head back and forth. "He was- t- t- too strong, and I- I _knew_ I should have- have, g- gone for help, b- but-" At this point, she gave a strangled sob and collapsed. I was beneath her in a second, holding her up, willing her to continue.

"Chloe, what? Who was too strong? What _happened_?" I pleaded, dying to understand. Her eyes rolled up to meet mine, languid and hopeless, and she drew in a slow, shuddering breath. My blood froze in my veins.

"It's over. He's coming." At this point, she sagged completely in my arms and I knew she had gone unconscious. I laid her gently on the ground and then sprang to my feet, looking up and down the seemingly endless hallway for whoever "he" was. My adrenaline was pumping throughout my veins like lightning, and I could feel my heartbeat in my temples, my vision sharpening so I could see the details on the tapestry at the end of the hall.

"Who's there?" I called, low, as a breeze whistled through the hall. All my hair was standing on end, and my teeth were clenched so tightly, I swore they were seconds from cracking.

Suddenly, a huge flash of light lit the hall, and again, my heart stopped. I yelled, loudly, again, "Who's there?!" Simon sat bolt upright in bed behind me, judging by the rustling bed sheets. I was trembling so hard, I was surprised the floor wasn't breaking apart. Then, suddenly, there was another noise from upstairs.

One. Leaden. Footstep.

_Ghosts don't make noise, ghosts don't make noise_, I repeated to myself in my head, willing my mantra to deny the evidence I heard in front of me.

_But zombies do_.

_But that's ridiculous! Chloe said _he _was coming, she asked for a book on ghosts, doesn't that mean it's a ghost?_

_A ghost with a body_.

"Chloe? Chloe!" I hissed through my teeth, nudging her without looking down. She stirred at my feet, mumbling something unintelligible.

"Did you put a ghost back in his body?" She whimpered at my harsh question, shuddering.

"Not in _his_ body," she murmured, sounding close to tears.

"Chloe? _Whose body_?" I hissed, the footsteps getting louder. She sobbed quietly.

"He- he forced me! I couldn't- stop it, and he, he-" She segued in to uncontrollable sobbing, curling in to the fetal position. My eyes widened in horror as I contemplated the horrible possibilities. She could have put him in any body, like Kit's, or Lauren's, or…

Tori's.

Her figure was illuminated at the end of the hall by another flash of light. I screamed at this, as did Simon, who had crept up behind me.

"Derek! Derek, that's-!" He tugged at my shirtsleeve like a small child, unable to clear the gaping look off his face. My teeth clenched, and my whole body tensed. The figure advanced with shuffling footsteps, head lolling to the side. I dropped to my knees, shaking Chloe's shoulder roughly.

"Chloe, Chloe come on. You have to defeat him. Get him out of Tori. Come on, you can do it." She just shook her head, moaning.

"He's- *hic* he's too powerful. And he's got Tori's powers. I- I _tried_, but he- oh God, Derek, we're gonna die!" She screamed the last part of the sentence, arms locking around my neck in a chokehold. She continued screaming, a series of hysterical, staccato notes: the screams of a girl who has not yet lived, condemned to die. I felt my heart shred itself in to pieces. There was nothing I could do. Chloe was the only one who could save us, but she was unable. I was going to die here, tonight, with the girl I loved in my arms. My life flashed before my eyes, moments and scenarios and dreams and aspirations-

When I looked up, I was shocked to find that Not Tori was already in front of me. Her head lolled to the other side and she pointed at me, a ball of witch fire already forming on her fingertip. Her teeth were bared in a grin of pure evil, the witch fire reflecting off of her glassy eyes and casting sinister shadows on her face. I shut my eyes tightly for the last time, grip tightening in Chloe for a moment. A tear slipped out of one eye as I said my goodbye to the world.

And then light flooded my eyes.

* * *

**I'm such a bitch. I come back after a 9 month hiatus and leave it on a semi-cliffy. Goddammit I'm evil ;D**

**Dudes and dudettes, I am so TERRIBLY sorry for my absence, really and truly. I left with no warning, even leaving promises to continue the story very quickly. Well, to be honest, I'm surprised if you're a watcher and you're reading this right now, seeing as I've been away for so long. I really want to thank you all for not giving up on me or this story. Just, thanks. **

**I get the feeling that I make Simon seem really idiotic in this fic. Well, in the series, he doesn't really come off as moronic (mostly), but I tend to lean towards him being a little more "blonde," so to speak. Not to offend any blondes out there ^-^; Remember, this is a comedy fic, and I specifically mention in the description that it's "a little OOC (out of character)." I don't consider added, uh, stupidity, to be a lot OOC, because for the most part, I feel I maintain his character pretty well despite that. You know, hardheaded, outspoken, friendly, etc. So sorry to any mega-Simon fans out there. I just feel like this fic needs a character who can be slightly stupid sometimes, and it happened to be Simon. So, yeah… derp.**

**Again, thank you so much for sticking with me this long. Drop a review or, if you're reading this for the first time, a favorite/watch to let me know that people haven't actually given up on this fic. :)**


	17. AN - Ch 16 & a Half & BONUS CHAPTER

**I would really love to thank all of you readers. All of you. As in each and every single one. Writing this story has been a load of fun times for me, and hopefully for you guys too. I'd love to hug each and every reader from across the internet, regardless of whether you reviewed, favorited, watched, or simply read the story. I honestly can't thank you all enough. Whether you've been here since the very beginning of the story, supporting me every step of the way, or have just joined us this chapter, reminding me that new people click on this almost every day, I want to thank you. Thank you so very much, for all the views, favorites, watches, and reviews you've all given me. I never want you all to feel underappreciated, or underestimate the amount that you put in to this story. Without you, I'm certain I wouldn't be sitting here, writing this. So honestly, thank you very much for reading this story, for sticking with it, for having the initiative to click. This is NOT a goodbye by any means, but a reminder that I write this for YOU. Thank you all so very much, and I sincerely hope that more times like those we've had in the past await us in future chapters :) Thank you.**

**And on another note, just so you guys know, I'm going to be uploading a sort of bonus chapter within the next couple days (seriously this time) that's a short feature intended to be placed between the chapter I just posted and the last chapter I posted, back in (whoa) last December. Just to let you guys know :)**

**And thus begins: the bonus chapter.**

Derek POV

The days following Christmas were very odd indeed: a mixture of a sense of anticlimax and a sense of anticipation. Everyone was getting over the high strung emotions of Christmas and simultaneously gearing up for the New Year.

"What are we going to do for New Year's?" Chloe asked one night at the dinner table. Shrugging, Lauren looked to Kit. He stroked his mustache that he was (unfortunately) trying to grow out.

"Well, none of us know anyone here, so I doubt we're going to get invited to many New Year's parties. I suppose we can just stay in the room and watch the ball drop on TV."

"Can we have champagne?" Tori asked, showing interest in a family activity for once.

"No."

"Ugh, what a lame New Year's this is going to be, then," she muttered sourly. Kit turned to the rest of us.

"Well, are there any other ideas for how we can celebrate the New Year?" There was a round of headshaking and shrugging. "Seriously? Nothing?"

"Well, there is this one idea that I saw on the internet," Simon hedged, and everyone's eyes snapped to him. "Well, these guys posted a video of them going out and having a bonfire at the beach to commemorate the occasion. It looked pretty fun, so, you know, maybe we could-"

"Simon, that's a great idea!" Lauren exclaimed, all smiles. He looked shocked.

"It is?" he asked, confused.

"It is?" Tori asked disbelievingly.

"It is!" Kit proclaimed. He clapped Simon on the back and announced his decision to the room at large. "In 2 nights' time, we will go to the park a couple blocks from the motel and have our New Year's Bonfire!"

"Ugh," Tori muttered.

"And Tori will dress up as the New Year's Baby, to commemorate the occasion."

"What?! Oh hell no!" she exclaimed, but the rest of us were already laughing our asses off, imagining Tori in a giant diaper with a pacifier. Kit wiped the tears from his eyes and continued.

"Yes, Tori will dress up as the New Year's Baby. Any questions? No? All are dismissed.

We all headed in our respective directions, all but one of us still chuckling. This was going to be hilarious.

Simon POV

2 days after Kit's announcement, on New Year's Eve, an awesome idea for a prank suddenly popped in to my head. Well, it would be awesome, but I didn't know how to execute it by myself. Thus, I decided to go ask for help from Derek.

"Derek? Uh, about that New Year's bonfire…"

"What about it?"

"Well, I kinda wanted to do a little… prank…" Derek grinned at my words.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I kinda wanted to give Kit a little… shock when he goes to light it."

Derek gave me a look. "I'm not gonna help you injure anybody on New Year's Eve." I shook my head.

"No, not like that. Just… him getting a little more flame than he bargained for. Not like, gasoline or anything, just…" I tried to show him what I meant with my hands. He nodded slowly.

"I get what you mean. Okay, here's what you're gonna have to do." He outlined what I'd need to do to surprise Kit. Nodding as he explained what would happen, I grinned.

The rest of the day passed slowly, as time does when something expected is to come soon. Finally, around 8 o' clock, Kit decided that we'd head out and start our bonfire. Smiling to myself, I grabbed my backpack and headed out with the rest of them. We went down to the park I'd been to before, and we crowded around one of the bonfire pits scattered around.

Tori, predictably, had flat-out refused to wear the baby costume, but Chloe, using some of her mysterious Chloe charm, had convinced the witch to at least wear a giant, oversized diaper over her clothing. To be honest, I had no idea how. Derek was acting suspicious, and I had a sneaking idea that he and Chloe had teamed up, knocked Tori out, and superglued the diaper on. Kit blamed the spirit of the New Year.

Kit had bought a box of pre-cut packaged logs, and I volunteered to arrange them in the pit while he and a few others went to go get marshmallows, chocolate, coat hangers, and graham crackers for making s'mores. It was a little late to remember that, eh? Lauren and Derek stayed behind.

As I worked, I carefully scattered some dried coffee cream powder all over the logs. I made a huge pile beneath the center, so the flame would shoot straight up in the air from there. When Kit finally returned, he was given the honor of lighting our New Year's bonfire.

I waited expectantly as he brought out a matchbook from his pocket. He struck it against the paper and it lit. He held it close to one of the paper-wrapped logs, and I bit my lip in anticipation. As expected, the paper caught fire. But it didn't shoot as high as I expected. In fact, it could have passed for normal height.

But as he held the flame to more papers, and the fire began to spread, I grew excited again. Finally, when it reached the center of the logs, it happened. Flames quickly shot up, hot and fast, at least 4 feet in the air, and Kit jumped back with a scream. He ran in to Lauren, who screamed in turn.

All of us just looked at the two of them, who were working on calming their breathing pattern.

"It's just a little fire," I told them, and they looked a bit abashed.

The rest of the evening was spent singing carols and making s'mores. Laughter and smiles were abundant as we recounted previous new years with watching the ball drop on TV and such, and how they now suddenly seemed lame in comparison. As the fire burned on, we grew more and more excited.

"It's 11:55," Chloe said suddenly, noticing the time on Derek's watch. Our eyes all shot up, observing the sky, knowing that the New Year was only 5 minutes away.

"Well guys, it's been hectic this year, but honestly, I'm really glad I have you guys as my family," I said, smiling widely. Under normal circumstances, that would have sounded beyond corny and right now, it still did. But it was true. Despite all that we had gone through, all the times we had been nearly killed, all the times we had nearly killed each other; we were still together and vaguely happy.

Everyone was smiling at each other, and it was a perfect group hug moment. Of course, something had to ruin it. Tori was kicking back in her chair, feet up on the edge of the pit, nasty look on her face. I vacantly looked down, and noticed a small amount of coffee creamer, left over from my prank, scattered at her feet.

"Tori, you might wanna-" My sentence was cut off as a jet of flame suddenly shot up. Her flimsy canvas shoes were suddenly alight, and the flames quickly flew up, bright but not catching.

She let out a scream worthy of a horror movie. As she dashed for the lake, hands held up in the air, still screaming, Chloe gasped.

"12:00 am. Happy New Year, everyone." We all reclined in our chairs, watching Tori sprint to the lake and jump in. We all sighed, glad to have been together for the year, and glad to be facing a new one the same way.

* * *

**Daww, Simon being all mushy over his family... again... XD Well folks, this has been a long time coming, seeing as the New Year was almost 10 months ago. It was mostly written right after I wrote the Christmas one, though! I just never got around to finishing it... Yes, it's supposed to be short. Jeez.**

**So yeah. Tori wears Toms, if you didn't get the canvas shoe thing.**

**Credits to my best friend's dad for the coffee creamer thing. Definitely try it at home, kids.**

**Herp-le-derp. New chapter... eventually. Prank ideas are ALWAYS welcomed, whether or not I say it at every chapter. Just letting you know. :D**

**Thanks for sticking with me this long. I love you all. Each and every one of you. Even the freaks. Especially the freaks 3**

**Over and out, bros and brahs.**


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